


Unbroken

by SpencerRemyLvr



Category: Criminal Minds, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cheating, Crying, F/M, Feels, Gift Fic, Infidelity, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnant Spencer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-04-24 09:27:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 67,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4914166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpencerRemyLvr/pseuds/SpencerRemyLvr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spencer had the whole night planned out. A nice dinner with his husband, a relaxing evening, and then he'd give him the news he'd just discovered that day. All of that changed with one single knock on the door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eskimita](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eskimita/gifts).



> I wanted to write a gift fic for my dearest Eskimita, because it's her birthday and because I can. When I tried to think of what to write, I couldn't come up with anything at first. And then, this. I figure, cher, you're always encouraging the angsty stories, the real heart breakers. So, here you go. Here's one for you ;)

This wasn’t how this was supposed to happen. It wasn’t how things were supposed to go!

Spencer had planned out the entire night. He’d set things up perfectly. Dinner was prepped and would be ready to slip onto the table just in time for Derek to get home. It was his husband’s favorite; homemade lasagna with garlic bread. The house was clean, there was some low blues music crooning in the background. The whole place was set up to give them one nice, relaxing night at home. With as rocky as things had been in their marriage these past few months, this was just what they needed. A night for just the two of them to be together and maybe get to work on fixing some of those rocky patches that just felt like they were getting bigger and bigger lately.

The slip of paper sitting on the counter reminded Spencer as to why it was even more important than before that they try and fix things.

He’d been home for a few days now instead of out on the current case with the team because he’d been feeling a bit more than under the weather. He’d barely been able to keep food in his stomach these past few days and he’d mostly wanted to just curl up in their bed and _sleep_. He hadn’t called any friends, hadn’t even really talked to Derek. He’d just lain in bed in an old Caltech sweater and tried to wait for it to pass. His powers—the mutation that no one at the Bureau except for his husband and his team knew about—hadn’t exactly been in control lately, either. They always tended to go a bit out of control when he wasn’t feeling well. It was like they reacted to his illness and tried to find ways to comfort him or make it better.

A friend of Spencer and Derek’s—a man he’d actually met _through_ Derek and had since become quite close to—jokingly called Spencer ‘Samantha’ like the witch in Bewitched, or Merlin like, obviously, the wizard Merlin. Spencer's powers were very simply and very basically labeled as ‘magic’. Not the magic that required lots of hard studying and spell chanting and such like that. Nothing on the level of Dr. Strange and his abilities. Spencer hadn’t studied years and years for this. No, his powers were much simpler, and nowhere near as powerful. He could make things, create them from thin air, though the bigger and more complex the harder it was to do and the longer it took. It was much simpler to take something that already existed and _change_ it to become what he wanted it to. He could also teleport himself somewhere if he wanted. Again, the further it was, the harder it was to do, and the more people he took with him the rougher it was. Basically, he had magic, and he could use it. Teleportation, creation, transmutation, telekinesis—those were just some of the simple, basic things he could do. Nothing on a grand scale. It all just boiled down to a manipulation of magical energies.

What that had meant lately was that every time he got cold, a blanket would appear over him. Every time he gave a bit of thought to wanting a cup of warm tea, one would appear on the nightstand by his bed. A cup he’d been holding had transformed into a bucket once when he’d been curled up on the couch and had suddenly felt so sick he wasn’t sure he’d be able to make it to the bathroom to throw up.

When, after a few crappy days like that, things hadn’t gotten any better, he’d gone in to the doctor to try and find out just what was wrong. He’d walked out of there quite a bit more stunned than he’d gone in. He wasn’t sick.

He was pregnant.

Ten weeks pregnant, to be exact. The doctor had assured him that he and baby were both very healthy. Nausea was a common problem for pregnancy and even more so for male carriers. A male carrier’s body was equipped with the proper internal organs for pregnancy, but the hormones needed to successfully maintain that pregnancy were always very low right at the start and would rapidly kick in as the pregnancy took place. The flood of hCG and estrogen, especially in a body that carries only minimal amounts normally, is enough to cause an even more pronounced nausea than most women go through. Spencer knew all of that, logically, but he’d never really stopped to apply it to himself. He took birth control. He took it _regularly_. He hadn’t expected to end up pregnant! Especially not…not now. Not wihle things were so rocky between them.

When he got home, he’d spent hours on the couch just lying there, cradling his stomach, thinking about what needed to be done. He and Derek had been arguing lately and they’d been so distant. Spencer had wanted to try and fix it, really he had, but he hadn’t been sure about what to do. They just felt so separate from who they’d used to be when they’d first gotten married two years ago. He’d begun to worry that after two years of marriage and three years of being together as a couple, that things were just fading away.

He couldn’t let that happen.

He’d been a child with parents whose marriage was falling apart. That wasn’t something that he’d ever wish on any child. Whatever was going on between he and Derek, it needed to be figured out and fixed. Not just for their sakes, but for the sake of the life inside of him.

So, with that in mind, he’d set about making the best night that he could, hoping to relax his husband and to reconnect with him before telling him the big news.

That was the plan, at least. Spencer had never counted on this.

The lasagna still had a good thirty minutes left on it when there came a knock at the door. He set down the tea that he’d been drinking to try and quell his stomach—the anti-nausea medication the doctor had given him, geared specifically for male carriers, was helping to curb it a little but not perfectly—and he made his way over to the door. When he answered it, he found a pretty dark skinned woman there, smiling up at him so very nervously. Her whole body language declared worry and reluctance and it set Spencer immediately on edge. Had something happened to Derek? Was this a person come to tell him that something bad had happened?

“Hi there.” The woman said, her voice low and sweet. “I, ah, I know you don’t know me, but my name’s Kell. Kelly. And you must be Spencer.”

The sick feeling in Spencer's stomach was growing once more. His hand curled a little tighter around the door. There was a part of him that he found didn’t want to say anything. That part of him wanted to just shut the door and pretend that this woman and whatever news she brought wasn’t really here. He forced himself to stand there, to look at her and try to speak politely around the sudden lump that had built in his throat. “Can I help you?”

Kelly looked even more nervous now than she had before. She lifted one hand, running it over her hair in a nervous gesture, and she shifted her weight from one foot to the next. All little things that the profiler in Spencer took in absently. “I, ah. Oh, hell.” Kelly blew out a breath and lifted wide eyes up towards him. Eyes that were full of worry and what looked like an apology. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know how else to do this so I’m just going to say it.” Then, so bluntly it was like a slap to the face, one entirely unexpected, she blurted out the last thing he’d thought to hear. “I’m sleeping with your husband.”

Spencer stared at her with wide eyed shock for one long beat as his brain tried to process this. As he tried to make sense of the words that he’d never, ever thought to hear directed his way. Shock and heartache both arrowed through him so sharply he almost gasped from it. His mind screamed a denial even as the logical part of him, the cool scientist, the profiler, softly nodded over things that he’d noticed in Derek that now finally made sense.

Taking one step back, he held the door open. “Maybe you should come inside.”

* * *

Spencer felt like his whole world had gone numb. Like his insides had simply frozen over. This couldn’t be real. It, it had to be just a stupid dream, right? His unique mind had always managed to create the most vivid and realistic dreams. That had to be what this was. There was no way he was really sitting here at the kitchen table that he was supposed to be setting and using for a romantic dinner with his husband, looking across said table at the woman that was apparently his husband’s _mistress_.

“I’m so sorry.” Kelly was saying yet again, for about the thousandth time. “What we did, what I did, was wrong. So very wrong, and I know that. That’s why I’m here. I couldn’t, I just couldn’t do this to myself anymore, or to you, either. It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right and I knew…I knew he couldn’t seem to bring himself to tell you, but you deserved to know.”

The words were sort of distant. Like they were coming from far away. His own voice, when he spoke, surprised him. He hadn’t planned on saying anything yet. Hadn’t even thought he had anything to say. Yet there he was, speaking in this flat, emotionless voice, asking “How long?”

The heartbreak on Kelly’s face grew a little more pronounced. “Six months.” She whispered.

Six months. Six _months_? She was telling him that Derek, his Derek, had been with someone else for six months? Had been cheating on him for _half a year_? Spencer felt the first real flare of emotion through the numbness that wasn’t just stunned disbelief, but before the anger could take hold, before he could reflexively deny her words, she shattered them all completely by holding out her phone. There, on the screen, was a picture of her and Derek.

Spencer's hands shook slightly as he reached out and took the phone. His heart felt like it was clamped in a vice. A vice that only got tighter as he flipped through more and more pictures, the dates down at the bottom confirming Kelly’s story. _Six months_. Six months Derek had been with this woman, holding her, laughing with her. Taking her to carnivals or for what looked like movie nights at a place Spencer was assuming was hers. Smiling at her. Kissing her. Looking at her the way he’d once looked at Spencer. The way he hadn’t for quite a while now.

The phone slipped from numb fingers to drop down to the table. “Oh, God.” The words came out in a voice that was soft and so damn broken. Spencer didn’t realize that the words came from _him_ until he saw Kelly’s flinch. Nausea churned in the young mutant’s stomach and he quickly pressed a hand there. On the life that was growing in there. Kelly’s eyes followed his hand and when she saw the gesture, her mouth made a little ‘o’ of surprise and her eyes snapped back up to his face with a stunned, pained realization. For one brief second their stares connected and they both knew in that moment what was going on here. She could see the knowledge all over his face, the confirmation that yes, he was pregnant, and he could see on hers the fear that built in response, a fear that Derek would now decide to stay with a child on the way.

That was the silent scene that Derek walked in on only seconds later.

Neither person at the table moved at first as the front door opened and Derek came walking inside. Then they both turned to stare at him as the profiler came hesitantly inside, already alerted by the car out in the drive. He looked pained, afraid, worried—but it was the relief on his face that truly did Spencer in. The utter _relief_ of a man who had been carrying a guilty secret for far too long and was glad to finally be able to stop hiding. With that look, Spencer felt his heart shatter. “You son of a bitch.”

Derek’s pained wince would’ve moved him at any other time, in any other situation. Right now it only made him ache even more. What right did Derek have to be pained about this? What right did he have to be upset? The man spread his hands out and took a small step towards the table. “Spencer…”

“No.” Spencer shook his head quickly. He shoved his chair back from the table, an instinctive retreat from someone that he’d thought he’d never have to worry about hurting him. Someone he’d trusted to be the one person who he could count on. He shook his head again as he pushed himself up to his feet. “Don’t. Just, don’t. Stay back.”

Pain darkened Derek’s eyes. Pain and regret. But he did listen to Spencer's words. He stayed back. He also took a small step in Kelly’s direction, which made Spencer's stomach twist. “I’m sorry, Spencer.”

“Were you ever going to tell me?” Spencer asked him. He curled his arms around his waist in a self-soothing gesture that he hadn’t used for quite a while. One that he’d used to do so often back when there’d been no one to hold on to him and so he’d had to hold himself.

There was a long moment of quiet as the three people stood there and stared at one another. Spencer watched Derek’s face, watched the debate play out there in his eyes as he ran through so many different ways he could probably answer it. He saw when Derek finally decided on the truth. His shoulders slumped slightly and his eyes became steadier before his whole body braced in preparation for what he was about to say. “This weekend. I was going to tell you this weekend.” His eyes slanted over to Kelly, pained and a little annoyed, but full of enough love that it tightened the vice on Spencer's heart and left him feeling like he’d been sucker-punched. “I’m sorry, to both of you.” Derek said softly. His eyes came back to Spencer. “Neither one of you deserved this. But, I just…there’s been something broken between us for a while now, Spencer. I know you’ve felt it.”

“Then you should’ve come to me to try and fix it.” Spencer said achingly. He tightened his hands in the sides of his shirt and tried to hold himself together. “You should’ve _said something_ instead of going out and finding someone else.”

“I know.” Derek said. “I know. I just…Spencer, we weren’t happy. Neither one of us were happy. And I don’t think talking would’ve fixed it. We rushed into this marriage, you and I, and I don’t think we thought it through. We’re…we’re too much. Too close. We work together, live together, we always go out socializing together. People need a little separation between themselves and their partners and you and I don’t have that. We’ve never had that. I needed to be me, man.”

“And being you meant finding yourself a woman on the side?”

Derek had the good grace to wince at that. “No, no. I didn’t go out actively looking for someone else. I would never do that to you. It just…”

“It just happened.” Spencer cut it, and his voice held bitterness to it and an anger he wasn’t quite ready to touch. “I didn’t mean it. It was an accident. She completes me. I never meant to hurt you. I love you, I’m just not _in love_ with you anymore.” He snorted and took another step back. “Yeah, I’ve heard all of those before. I heard them each time Mom found out about one of Dad’s affairs. Well, I’m not my mother. I’m not going to stay and accept excuse after excuse. I told you way back in the beginning that there was one thing I couldn’t handle. One thing I begged you never to do to me.” He’d pleaded, even cried at one point as he told Derek about the amount of times his father had cheated on his mother, and how he’d used her illness against her even and let her think she was making things up once she was more lucid.

Inside, Spencer felt like his heart was breaking. It felt like it was in jagged pieces inside of his chest, shredding him, tearing him apart. He couldn’t care about the pained way that Derek was watching him, or the sorrowful look on Kelly’s face. All he could think about was the life that was inside of him and the dreams that were now lying broken at his feet. “I’ll make this easy for you.” His voice came out so low and hoarse, more pained than it had ever sounded before. Only a small flare of his power and the ring on his finger, a ring he hadn’t taken off even for work, appeared in the center of the table.

The last thing Spencer saw before he vanished was the shocked look on both Derek and Kelly’s faces.

* * *

He didn’t think about where he was going when he vanished. It was a dangerous way to teleport; he’d learned that early on in life. Having a destination firmly in mind was the only safe way to do it. Not since the early days when his powers had first manifested had he teleported by sheer _need_ without any sense of direction to it. Yet that was what he did now. One moment he was standing in that dining room wishing he was anywhere but there and the next moment he was standing on the edge of a cliff overlooking the sea. A glance around him, over the empty fields and trees and across the nearby castle ruins, told him where he was.

It was a place he liked to go when he wanted to think. A place he’d spent plenty of time at over the years. He’d come here and sit himself down on the cliffs, watching the water, feeling the wind, safely away from plenty of people. That was exactly what he needed right now.

Right there at the cliff’s edge, he sat himself down and curled his body in tight.

There should be tears, he thought. He should be crying. He should be upset, or angry, or just _something_. But he just sat there and held himself tightly as he stared out over the water and wondered where the hell they’d gone so wrong. Had this…was it because of him? That question plagued him. As soon as he had it, he tried to banish it but it refused to go, circling round and round in his mind and gaining more force, spawning more questions. Was he too clingy? Should he have given Derek more space? He knew the man had been a little off-put at first by just how cuddly Spencer was in private. He liked to touch and be touching with those that he loved. Maybe it was because he hadn’t ever really had that, or because he didn’t allow himself that with anyone, so it all built up into this giant need when he was with someone he loved and he just found himself reaching out, all the time. Fingers on the wrist, a quick touch to the lug, cuddling when on the couch, snuggling up while they slept.

Derek had said they were too close. Did too much together. ‘I needed to be me, man.’ Maybe he should’ve given his husband more space. Declined going out with them sometimes and just let Derek go have fun. It was just, it was hard. Like Derek had said, their lives were so twined together. They shared a home, worked the same job with the same team, they shared the same circle of friends. There was no room for individuality. Whereas Spencer had found that comforting, apparently Derek had not.

_No_. Spencer told himself firmly, trying to push those thoughts down. No, he was not going to sit here and blame himself. He was not going to fall into the same pattern that he’d seen his mother in so many times. This wasn’t his fault. No matter how unhappy Derek was, no matter how shaky their marriage had gotten, none of that was an excuse for cheating. If Derek had been so damn unhappy, he should’ve said something. He should’ve spoken up. Not went out and found himself someone else and then proceeded to see her for _six months_ until she outed him!

The pain welled up again and Spencer bowed his head until his forehead pressed against his knees. There he sat, in the dark on the cliffs, and the numbness finally gave way to waves of grief that left him broken and sobbing, wondering how the hell a night that had started out so great had ended up going so wrong.

* * *

Spencer had no idea how much time had passed while he sat there and cried. He’d barely taken note of the changing of light around him, or of anything else really. His phone had rang off and on with Derek’s ringtone quite a few times since he’d settled in. He ignored it for the most part. Why would he bother answering? Let Derek wonder for a while. Let him worry. There was nothing that he had to say that Spencer wanted to listen to right now. He didn’t shut it off, though, even if he wanted to. Their job had taught him to never have his phone completely off just in case there was a work emergency. Cases could come in at any time. Hence why he had different ringtones for everyone. Penelope had helped him to set that up. It allowed him to know if it was a personal call or potentially a work call. Only Aaron or Penelope ever called to let him know about cases.

The ringtone that started playing suddenly definitely wasn’t Derek, but it wasn’t Aaron or Penelope either. Spencer hesitated only a second before he pulled the phone from his pocket and answered it. “Reid.” He answered in a voice gone hoarse. Absently, he thought to himself that it was good he’d kept his own name when they married. It would make a few things easier. The nausea came back almost full force as he thought about where that thought was heading and why he should be happy to have kept his last name.

“ _Spencer._ ” A soft sigh that sounded slightly like relief came over the line. “ _Merci Dieu, cher. I was hoping y’d answer._ ”

The warm sounds of Remy’s voice were at one comforting and distressing. He’d always enjoyed the Cajun’s company from the very first instant that Derek had introduced them. But, he was Derek’s friend first, and Spencer knew he had to be calling now because Derek had called him. Spencer opened his eyes and lifted them to look out over the water once more. “I’m fine.” He croaked out. “And you can report that back to him. I’m fine, and no, I’m not coming home.”

“ _Of course y’ aint_!” Remy said immediately. “ _Like I’d tell y’ to get on over to him. C’mon now, Spencer, who do y’ t’ink I am? Y’r getting y’r ass here, now. I got a bed wit’ y’r name on it._ ”

The offer hadn’t at all been what Spencer was expecting but he couldn’t deny just how appealing it sounded. A bed in a place far away from Derek, away from everything that spelled _home_ , in a place that wouldn’t blink an eye at his powers. _But he’s Derek’s friend. What’s to say that Derek won’t show up? That Remy isn’t really on his side of things? What if Remy doesn’t even know what’s going on?_ That was a good point. What if Derek hadn’t told him what was happening, just that he was looking for Spencer? “Remy,”

“ _Non_.” Remy interrupted him. “ _I aint asking. Dere’s no way in hell y’ need to be alone after all dat fuckin’ connard just did. He told me everyt’ing when he was asking if I’d heard from y’. Get y’r ass on over here where I can at least know y’r safe. I promise, he won’t hear a t’ing from Remy bout where y’ are_.”

Remy would keep his word, Spencer knew. That was important to him. He made a point to keep his word no matter what.

A shiver ran down Spencer. There was still a little part of him that wanted to refuse, that wanted to stay here around no one where he could be free to break without any eyes on him. The rest of him craved _something_ positive right now. “Where are you?”

He heard Remy let out another of those relieved sighs. “ _De mansion. I’m on de back porch right now. Y’ remember it clear enough, or y’ need Remy to move to somewhere y’ remember better?_ ”

Teleporting for Spencer was something that was easiest done to places he knew well. He could go somewhere unknown, but it was hit or miss how he’d land. Places he knew were much easier and safer. Luckily, he knew the back porch at Xavier’s well. When he’d gone to visit, he’d spent a bit of time there. Enough to know it well and easily navigate himself there now. He did just that instead of actually answering verbally. He just pushed himself to his feet on the cliffs and then sent himself to the back porch of the mansion.

One quick look showed that he’d landed correctly, right on the grass at the edge of the porch, and just a few feet away from Remy. The Cajun didn’t startle at his appearance. He simply vanished his phone into one of his many pockets and then was striding right up towards Spencer. “Ah, cher.” In seconds Spencer found himself being pulled into the warmth of Remy’s arms. The minute Remy had him in his arms, he made a pained sound. “Spencer, cher, y’r freezin’!” Immediately he was pulling off his jacket and swinging it to tuck around Spencer's shoulders. “Where were y’ at? Y’r like ice!”

“Scotland.” Spencer said through teeth that were, in fact, starting to chatter a bit from the cold.

“ _Merde_! No wonder y’r freezin’. C’mon, let’s get y’ inside and warmed up.” With easy, efficient moves, Remy got Spencer tucked underneath one arm and then he was leading him inside, talking almost nonstop as he did. “I asked Ro to make up de room right next t’mine fo’ y’. We’ll get y’ all nice an comfortable in dere an get y’ warmed up. Everyt’ing else can wait fo’ de mornin’, yeah?”

It was strangely soothing to just let Remy’s babble wash over him and allow the man to lead him inside. Numbness, not just from the cold but for his emotions, was slowly creeping back in. He felt like he’d cycled through so many emotions tonight. Numbness, shock, anger, grief, heartache, back to numbness all over again. it was just too much too fast. For someone who had always been slightly scared of his emotions and who had fought so many times in life to try and _not_ feel, it was almost too much. This was why he hadn’t ever wanted to be in a relationship with someone. He hadn’t wanted to open himself up to feeling like this. He hadn’t wanted to ever let someone do to him what William had done to Diana. Yet here he was—married, with a husband that had fallen in love with someone else, had been seeing them for six months, and with a baby on the way.

Spencer curled his arms around himself, over his stomach, and clutched Remy’s jacket tighter to him. He didn’t notice the few tears that slipped free. He just moved where Remy directed him, putting one foot in front of the other until they were stopping and Remy was lightly pushing him down onto the edge of the bed. He watched with surprise as the man knelt down at his feet and pulled his socks off for him. Once they were set aside, Remy stayed squatting, but he looked up at Spencer. His whole expression was sorrowful. One hand came up and oh-so-gently wiped at the tears on Spencer's cheek. “ _Je suis désolé, mon ami._ I’m so sorry he did dat to y’.”

The words tumbled out of Spencer before he could stop them. “What did I do wrong?”

“Oh, cher, y’ didn’t do not’ing. Not a damn t’ing.” Remy said, cupping his hand over Spencer's cheek.

“How did I not see it? He’s been seeing her for _six months_. Six months, Remy!” Another shiver ran over Spencer and he tightened his arms around himself and curled his hands into fists in his shirt. His eyes closed against the pain, though a few more tears squeezed out. “Tonight was supposed to be a good night. I was going to tell him….and now, now it’s all wrong. I don’t, I don’t _understand_.” His voice cracked on the last word and it came out in a pathetic sort of wail that embarrassed him. He couldn’t stop it, nor the sob that broke free.

All of a sudden Spencer found himself wrapped up tight once more in Remy’s arms. This time, he didn’t just stand there. He melted down into it and let the tears flow. He cried against Remy’s chest until there was nothing left in him, until he was reduced to quivering, gasping little tremors, too exhausted to even reach up and wipe his face.

Gentle hands did it for him. Spencer felt his face get wiped with a tissue and then those same hands were shifting him, moving him, laying him down in the soft warmth of the bed. He felt Remy sit down on the bed right in front of him and then those long thief’s fingers were running soothingly through his hair. “Go to sleep, cher.” Remy murmured. “I’ll be here in de morning. Jus’ go to sleep.” Then, ever so softly, he started to hum.

Exhausted from the night, Spencer drifted off to the sleep with the soft sounds of ‘ _Fais do-do_ ’.


	2. Chapter 2

Spencer woke up in the morning to the very familiar sensation of nausea churning in his gut and burning its way up his throat. He reacted instinctively, rolling right for the edge of the bed to reach for the bucket that he’d taken to keeping there lately. When he didn’t find it, his powers filled it in for him and a bucket appeared in his hands in just enough time. A tall one, thankfully, which allowed him to lay on the bed and brace his hands on the bucket without having to hang halfway off while his stomach emptied what little he’d managed to put in it.

He heard what sounded like a door opening and then suddenly someone was right there pulling back his hair for him and rubbing a hand soothingly over his back.

It wasn’t until the nausea faded that he finally got a chance to look up and see who it was. His sleep fogged brain had expected to see Derek there. Had hoped, really. His husband hadn’t been there quite a bit for Spencer's throwing up lately. When Spencer saw that it wasn’t Derek, it was _Remy_ , it took him a single second before everything came crashing back in. The whole horrible night. His eyes slid closed as the memories washed over him.

“C’mon, cher.” The soft murmur was a bit heavier than normal, the accent a little bit thicker with what Spencer assumed as a slightly sleepy edge to it. He must’ve woken Remy up with the sounds of his throwing up. Remy’s hand ran over his back one more time and then slid up to curl over his shoulder. “Let’s get y’ up and back. Y’ t’ink y’ can move?”

Spencer gave a small nod. First, though, he called up a bottle of water, rising and spitting a few times until the disgusting taste was gone from his mouth. Only then did he let Remy help him up and back from the bucket, which Spencer banished with a thought. That made Remy snort. “Handy.” He commented teasingly as he helped Spencer settle in.

A look at his friends showed that, yes, he had to have woken him up. Remy was dressed in pajama pants and nothing else. Considering Remy had told them once while he’d come to stay for a visit, with a mild wide cheeky grin, that he preferred to sleep nude, Spencer supposed he should at least be grateful the man had taken time to put pants on before he’d come running in. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Don’t worry y’rself on it.” Remy reassured him. He slipped down onto the bed as well, sitting down with just a little bit of space between them that Spencer greatly appreciated. “I had m’ ear on y’ anyways. I knew y’ weren’t exactly feelin’ well.”

Not feeling well. Yeah. That was one way of putting it. Spencer grimaced and shifted his weight around on the bed until he was sitting cross-legged. One hand came up to rub lightly over his stomach.

The gesture wasn’t lost on his companion. After a moment of quiet, Remy spoke again with something Spencer hadn’t expected at all. “How far along are y’?”

There was a moment of stunned silence as Spencer just stared at him. He debated denying it, just pretending that he had no idea what Remy was talking about. Only for a moment, though. Then he dismissed the thought as quickly as it’d come in. Why bother hiding it? It wasn’t like he’d be able to keep it secret permanently. “How’d you know?”

“Y’ aint de first expectin’ parent I’ve been around.” Remy said with a soft smile. “Y’ keep cradling y’r stomach like y’ got somet’ing in dere worth protecting.”

A hint of a smile touched Spencer's lips. “You make a pretty good profiler.”

“Does Derek know?”

Spencer looked down at his lap and curled himself in just the slightest bit. It was an automatic gesture; one he didn’t even notice he was doing. His body curved in, one shoulder came up, his head dropped down, all little things that were basically his body curling in on itself protectively. His fingers toyed absently with the blanket in front of him. “I was…I was going to tell him last night. I had a nice dinner planned out and everything. Then, well.” He shrugged his shoulder in lieu of finishing that, not quite able to bring himself to say the words.

With his head down, he missed the sneer that curled Remy’s lips. However, he could clearly hear the disapproval in the low growl of Remy’s voice. “Yeah, he told me what happened next, de fuckin’ _connard_.” Spencer's head shot up in surprise at his words and that surprise must’ve showed clearly because Remy arched a brow at him. “What? Did y’ t’ink I was gonna be on his side or somet’ing?”

“You are his friend.” Spencer pointed out almost hesitantly. “I mean, you’ve known him longer, since even before I did.”

“So? Dat don’t mean I gotta approve of what he did. It just means I got more right dan most to kick his ass de next time I see him. He had no right to hurt y’ de way he did. No right to disrespect y’r marriage vows like dat.”

The pain in Spencer's heart gave a little throb in agreement to Remy’s words. Still, he kept his eyes down once more and continued to fiddle with the blankets. Though the bigger part of him hurt—hurt so fucking _bad_ —there was still that part of him that had always been there in his life, the part that made excuses for those that he loved. The part that was way too much like his mother for his comfort. “I can’t say I’m blameless here. I mean, I’m a profiler. I should be able to see if my husband was having an affair, right? For me to have missed it…”

“ _Non_.” Remy cut in abruptly. He reached out, laying a hand on Spencer's knee, and he gave it a squeeze. “Don’t y’ dare start dat, Spencer. Don’t. Dis aint y’r fault and I aint gonna sit here and listen to y’ find a way to blame y’rself fo’ it like y’ do with everyt’ing else in life. Dis one isn’t on y’. If Derek had a problem, if he was unhappy, he should’ve said somet’ing to y’.”

Spencer lifted a slightly shaky hand and wiped it over his mouth. “Last night he said there’s been something broken between us for a while now. And he’s right.” Something had been broken for quite a while. That had been another reason that Spencer had done last night’s dinner. He’d wanted to try and reconnect with a husband he’d been drifting apart from for a while now. “We…we haven’t been happy for a while now, either one of us.” Spencer curled his hand in and tried not to think about the absence of a familiar weight on his finger. His ring was gone. It was gone, and it wasn’t coming back. Spencer wasn’t delusional enough to believe that they were going to come back from this. Derek was right—they hadn’t been happy for a while now. This, this was just the final straw. And Spencer wasn’t blind, either. He’d seen the way that Derek had looked at Kelly, the way he’d looked in those pictures, and the way she’d looked at him. That was love. They were in love. Derek and Kelly loved one another, and Spencer was left behind with a broken home, a broken marriage, and a child growing inside of him. “I don’t know what to do, Remy.” He lifted pleading eyes up towards his friend, feeling lost and broken and too damn alone. “I don’t…I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Ah, cher.” Remy’s hand came up off of Spencer's knee to brush a bit of hair back from his face and tuck it behind his ear. “Y’ aint gotta figure dat all out today. Derek doesn’t have any idea dat y’r here. Y’ can stay here with us until y’r ready to do whatever it is y’ decide on doing.” The offer was made in a simple tone, like it was just the most natural thing in the world, and that made it a little bit easier for Spencer to nod and say a soft ‘thanks’ in return. Remy just smiled at him. “ _Pas de problème._ Besides, it’ll give Logan a chance to smother y’ fo’ a while.”

That made Spencer smile.

One of the things that Remy had done after he’d met Spencer was make sure that the young genius came out to Xavier’s to visit. Not for Derek or for his friendship with the man or anything like that, but so that Spencer would get a chance to get to know other mutants and so he would always have a place he could know that he could go to if he needed help with his powers or anything like that. Derek hadn’t really been that thrilled at the idea, to be honest. Not that he hadn’t wanted Spencer to have help. He’d just mostly wanted to be able to go with him and Remy had declined. “It’s sweet dat y’ wanna support y’r partner, _mon ami_.” He’d told Derek. “ _Mais,_ dis is a place fo’ mutants. Dat’s why I aint never had y’ out to visit me here b’fore. Y’ve always respected dat. Y’ll need to respect it wit’ Spencer as well, cause he aint gonna be able to tell y’ some of de t’ings he sees dere, or any of dat shit.”

So Spencer had gone for that first visit with Remy to what the Cajun simply referred to as ‘the Mansion’. There, Spencer had met quite a few mutants, almost all of whom had been pretty accepting of him despite his profession. They were nice, friendly people, and he’d formed a few friendships in his visits there over the years. Logan was probably the one that he was the closest to. They wrote letters back and forth, opting for that old fashioned form of communication instead of phone calls or emails or anything else. They both liked the personal touch of sitting down and writing an actual letter.

Logan had a tendency sometimes to act a bit protective when Spencer came to visit. He’d nudge him towards the table at meal times, encourage him to get second plates, watch out for him a bit when Spencer spoke with others. He got a bit growly, too, whenever he found out Spencer got hurt on the job. Finding out that Spencer was expecting was probably going to send his protectiveness into overdrive.

It would be nice to see Logan. But, at the same time… Spencer chewed on his lip and snuck a look up at Remy. “I don’t…I’m not sure I want to see anyone just yet. I, is that okay? I mean, I don’t want to, to create any trouble.” This wasn’t his home. He was a guest here and as such, he didn’t want to be rude. But he didn’t really feel like going out there and having to see other people. He didn’t want to deal with anyone else right now. What he wanted more than anything else was to just curl up here in this comfortable bed and forget the world even existed for the next little while. He just wanted a little bit of time to grieve. That wasn’t too much to ask, was it?

The soft way that Remy was looking at him suggested that it wasn’t too much at all. “Y’ aint gotta see anyone if y’ don’t wanna, cher. Logan, he’ll understand. He’ll wait till y’r ready.”

“Thank you.” Spencer whispered.

Planting his hands on the bed, Remy pushed himself back up to his feet in one smooth move that managed to not jostle the bed around at all, thank God. Once he was on his feet, he smiled down at Spencer. “I’m gonna go get dressed an go find some breakfast. Y’ want Remy to bring y’ anyt’ing back up? Or is y’r stomach still too tender?”

The idea of food wasn’t all that appealing. Not eating wasn’t really an option, though. It wasn’t just him that he was feeding. Hesitantly, he suggested “Toast? Or, um, or crackers, maybe? I don’t want to be an imposition or anything.”

“Pffft.” Remy waved a hand as if to dismiss the idea. “Y’ aint an imposition, Spencer. I’m de one dat asked, _oui_? Y’ just go on an rest up an I’ll bring y’ by some crackers later on. If y’r sleeping, I’ll just leave dem on de nightstand. Don’t y’ worry bout no one else, y’ hear? Right now y’ just take care of y’. De rest can be figured out later.”

As Remy left the room, Spencer found himself feeling immensely grateful for the day that he’d become friends with this man. Remy was what Penelope called ‘good people’.

Thinking of Penelope made Spencer wince. He wondered what she would think of all this. He wondered what Derek was going to tell the others.

_What am I going to do about work_? The thought plagued him as he curled back up in the big bed. _I don’t know if I can just work side by side with him. Not after this._

It made his chest hurt to realize that he was already thinking about a future without Derek in it. Had they been so broken already that he couldn’t even think of trying to repair this? _He doesn’t want to repair it_ , Spencer's mind countered. _Don’t be stupid. He loves her. That speech he gave last night wasn’t the speech of someone who wants to try again. It was the speech of someone who wants the hell out_. Well, Spencer had granted him that. He’d given back his ring before he’d left. There was no clearer message than that.

That didn’t stop his heart from breaking a little more, though.

* * *

Spencer spent the next three days, the last of his arranged sick leave, there at the mansion in that little room next to Remy’s. He didn’t come out all that often and no one forced him to. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure how many knew he was there aside from Remy and Logan. It wouldn’t really surprise him if Remy hadn’t told anyone else that Spencer was there. Charles would know, probably. He’d be able to sense another mind in his home. He hadn’t tried to reach out to Spencer at all, though, and for that the genius was grateful.

Logan stayed away for about the first twenty four hours. He let Remy tend to him for meals and left Spencer in there to sleep. But on his second day when Spencer ended up once more curled around a bucket, emptying his stomach of last night’s dinner, it wasn’t Remy who came in to check on him. The feral hadn’t been able to resist the distressed sounds that Spencer was making and he came in without any hesitation whatsoever.

He sat down at the head of the bed right beside Spencer and held his hair for him the whole time. When Spencer was finally done, he stayed there with him and rubbed at his back, helping to ease some of the muscles that were aching from being bent and tightened in this position. After a few minutes, when Spencer showed no signs of throwing up again, Logan said “Sounds like this is hitting ya pretty hard, pup. Maybe it’s time to get in and see a doctor.”

Spencer grimaced as he set the bucket back down. He didn’t bother denying anything. Knowing Logan’s natural senses, he’d most likely already scented the change in Spencer's body. That is, if Remy hadn’t told him. “I’ve already seen one. He said I should have another week of feeling like this before my body adjusts to the new hormones.” A tissue was handed to him and he took it gratefully, using it to wipe off his mouth. He tossed it down into the bucket and grimaced before vanishing the whole thing. Slowly, he sat himself back up. “It’s like starting a new medication, essentially. Your body takes a bit to adjust, goes through the nasty side effects, and then as it gets used to things the side effects start to go away. My body isn’t used to these levels of hormones and so it’s reacting drastically. Once it adjusts, I might still have some nausea, but nothing like this.”

Logan helped him up from the bent position he’d been in and then he surprised Spencer by tugging him backwards, pulling him until he was resting against the feral’s side. “Good. Throwing up like this all the time aint good for you _or_ the pup. You’re already too damn skinny as it is.”

There was a brief moment where Spencer debated on whether or not to try and pull away. Then he gave a mental shrug and just let Logan tug him in close. He wasn’t going to deny that he was still feeling so damn _raw_ inside and the paternal coddling that Logan was giving him right now was kind of a balm to those aching places in him.

The two stayed that way for quite a while. To those that didn’t know him, and maybe even some that did, it probably would’ve seemed strange to see Logan leaning back against the headboard with someone tucked underneath one arm, right up against his side. Yet to those that did know him, the scene was more normal. Dangerous and temperamental though he may be, when it came to those that he cared for Logan was a giant softie. Even more so with the younger one. Spencer had once heard Ororo jokingly refer to them as ‘Logan’s kids’. There were a few of them here that fit into that category. Spencer had unofficially been adopted into it by the end of his first visit. With ‘his kids’ Logan tended to be more protective but also more nurturing. He’d kick the ass of anyone that tried to hurt them, just like he would for any friend, but he’d also take care of them when they were sick, listen to their problems, sometimes even soothe them through nightmares. Spencer knew he’d done the last one with Jubilee plenty of times.

It was just a bit easier to relax here with Logan than it had been with Remy. No matter what Remy said there was still a part of Spencer that worried about the fact that Remy was Derek’s friend too. Not just worry over him taking Derek’s side, but also worry that something he said or did might somehow come between Derek and Remy’s friendship. That was no issue with Logan. The man had no real care for Derek one way or another. He’d met him, true, when he’d come with Remy on a visit in DC once, but they weren’t friends. Logan knew him in the sense of him being Remy’s friend and Spencer's husband. That was it.

Sighing, Spencer turned his face in a little more against Logan’s shirt and breathed in the scent that he associated with the man. Cigar smoke, a hint of something woodsy, and a bit of Old Spice. It smelled much better than it sounded and he found it helped to calm his stomach and his nerves just a little. There, lying against him, he found himself saying what was on his mind. “Everything’s so messed up right now, Logan.”

“I know, pup.”

Spencer drew his knees up a little and compacted himself down into a small ball against Logan’s side. Maybe it was the comfort of having Logan here, maybe it was just that everything sucked, or maybe it was like the doctor warned him and his emotions were on a roller coaster with the flood of hormones running through his body. Whatever it was, he found himself battling back tears. “What am I going to do? I’m pregnant, I’m going to be out of a job, my marriage is destroyed, my husband’s in love with someone new, younger, and definitely better looking. And _female_.” That last bit grated, it really did, because gender had been an issue that the two had fought to overcome at the start. The past had left its marks on Derek and the idea of being in a relationship with a man had been hard. There’d been hurdles but they’d worked together and overcome them. Now, it only made it hurt all the more to see that it was a woman Derek had ended up with.

The arm around Spencer gave a small squeeze. “One thing at a time, Spencer. Taking it all on at once aint gonna do nothing but make you feel like shit. You tackle this one thing at time just like any other problem.” Logan said firmly. “Now, what’s this about you being out of a job?”

“I can’t exactly work as a field agent while pregnant, Logan!” Spencer pointed out. He curled his hand into Logan’s shirt and bowed his head down to keep the man from being able to see his face. “Besides, I don’t…I don’t want to go to work every day and have to, to see him. I don’t think I could do that. Maybe it’s stupid and childish or whatever but I just don’t think I can.”

The arm around him moved as Logan whapped him lightly on the back of the head. “Shut up. You’re not stupid or childish and you know it. No one’s gonna blame you if you don’t wanna work with your ex. That’s a helluva lot to ask anyone to do. If your team really cares about you, they’ll understand and support the both of you.” Dropping his arm back down, he curled it around Spencer once more. “Now, you’re one of the smartest guys I know, so I can’t see you having a hard time finding a job. An you know Chuck’s offered you a place here plenty of times. You’ve got plenty of options.”

Logically, Spencer knew all that. It still felt good to have Logan say it, though. To have those options verbalized. And if he was going to pour out his problems here to Logan and get answers, he might as well go for one that was really getting to him. “How...how do I tell Derek about the, ah, the baby without him thinking that I’m trying to trap him or something?” That was a thought that had plagued him quite a bit while he lay here.

“If he thinks that, he never knew you at all, kid.” Logan pointed out.

In his usual blunt, no-nonsense way, Logan cut through all of Spencer's worries and fears and gave him something solid to stand on.

By the time Monday rolled around and it came time to for Spencer to go home, the young genius was still hurting—he had a feeling that he’d be hurting for a long, long time—but he was steadier. Stronger. The inner steel that had gotten him this far in life was back in evidence once more. This whole situation didn’t just involve him. If it had, he wasn’t sure he would’ve had the strength to drag himself back up and keep on moving. It was only the thought of the life he was carrying inside of him that gave him the strength and courage to get back up and make himself start moving. Start planning. He wasn’t going to give in to his heartache so long as he had something to strive for. Some reason to get better. The baby provided that.

With the supportive words of his friends ringing in his ears, Spencer focused his powers and teleported himself out of the mansion. It was time to go home.


	3. Chapter 3

Spencer had timed things as carefully as possible. He hadn’t wanted to run in to Derek at all and so he’d made sure to send a text to Aaron to let him know he was running five minutes late and then he’d brought himself to the house just moments after he knew Derek would’ve left. A small part of him felt ashamed of his cowardice. He’d avoided Derek in pretty much every way possible these past few days. Even going so far as to delete all voicemails and texts from him without even reading them. But he’d needed this time. He’d needed the space to figure out, _away_ from Derek, what he was going to do.

Now he was here, he was home, and he had a plan. Or, well, sort of a plan. The start of one. There were still a few details that were up in the air. He had time to figure those out, though.

It hurt, to walk into their bedroom. To look at a bed that obviously hadn’t been slept in. Derek always slept so messy and he rarely ever made the bed in the morning. That had always been Spencer. Seeing the neatly made bed was a pretty good clue that Derek hadn’t been here at all. Had he slept out on the couch? Or had he gone to stay with _her_? The thought made Spencer's stomach clench and he had to stop there in the middle of their bedroom to take a few deep breaths and calm himself down. He pressed one hand over the very small swell to his stomach and rubbed ever so slightly in hopes of soothing down the ever present nausea. The little peppermint candies that Logan had brought him seemed to be helping a little. He had one tucked between tongue and cheek right now. For the most part, they did help to push down some of that nausea.

Once he had himself under control, he went to the closet to grab himself a change of clothes. It didn’t take him long to get himself ready for work. Next, he threw himself together a quick go-bag with enough clothes and such for a week, plus any essentials he didn’t want to be without. Once he had everything ready, he grabbed his keys off hook in the front hall and made his way towards his car. He’d done all of that as quickly as possible to avoid having to look around too much. The house was full of far too many memories for him to want to deal with right now. What he wanted was to just, get this done.

The drive to work had never seemed so long before. By the time he arrived, Spencer felt like he was tied up in knots all over again.

This was it. There was no turning back once he did this. Once he went in there, there would be no stopping.

Oh, God. He didn’t want to do this.

Hands tight on the wheel, he bent forward and rested his forehead there, drawing in huge, shuddering breaths that shook his slender frame. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to be here. He wanted to go back in time a few days to before that dinner. Before he’d met Kelly, before he’d seen the guilt in Derek’s face, before everything in their life had gone to hell. Sure, they’d had their problems then, even before he’d known about the affair. But he’d had hope that they could work through it. That they could fix it.

There was on fixing this. Things weren’t just broken between them now; they’d been completely and totally shattered. This wasn’t something that could be put back together again.

Briefly he wished he’d agreed when Remy and Logan both had tried to insist on coming with him today. Sure, they wouldn’t have been able to go in the Bureau with him—taking either one of them straight into the _FBI_ was just suicide—but they would’ve been able to come with him at least part of the way, and meet up with him afterwards. Right then he really could’ve used some of Remy’s snarky remarks and quick grin to help perk him back up, or Logan’s gruff support to anchor him.

Spencer drew in a shaky breath and blew it back out slowly. No, he didn’t need anyone here. He could do this. He’d done things alone for a long time before Derek had come along. He could do it again. Didn’t this just kind of prove that it was better to rely on yourself and not other people? Other people let you down. They could disappoint you and hurt you. Spencer had witnessed that firsthand time and time again. It was time to start relying on himself once more.

Resolve straightening his spine, Spencer unhooked his seatbelt. It was time to get this done.

* * *

Everyone was already at work by the time Spencer got upstairs. Emily and JJ were in the bullpen and both looked up at his entrance. It wasn’t any real surprise that JJ hurried towards him. She’d known that he was sick and had worried for him, calling him more than once during the time he’d been gone. It was almost funny; really, she’d checked on him more than his own husband had. How sad was that?

“Spence!” Even as she closed in on him, he could see her eyes running over him, taking in everything with a mother’s eye. It only took that one look for her to sum things up. “Why aren’t you still at home in bed? You look so pale.” She stopped in front of him and reached on, pressing the back of one hand against his cheek and then his forehead. “You’re still all clammy, too. You shouldn’t be back at work yet.”

“She’s right, Reid.” Emily chimed in, coming towards them. Worry showed in the furrow of her brow. “Have you seen a doctor yet? This bug really seems to have knocked you for a loop.”

In the face of their obvious affection and worry, Spencer had lost his voice for just a moment. He had to swallow a few times just to get it back. “I’m only here for a little bit.” He finally said, his voice just a bit hoarse. It only helped further the idea that he was still sick, he knew. For now it was better they think that. “I just need to speak with Hotch and D-Derek. Then I’ll be gone again.” Mentally, he cursed himself for stumbling over Derek’s name. Neither profiler missed it. He didn’t really give them time to comment, though. “I’m really not feeling well, guys, so I’d ah, I’d like to go get this taken care of. If you’ll excuse me.”

He slipped around JJ and past Emily and made his way over to the ramp that would take him up to Aaron’s office. He ignored the stares he could feel directed at his back. Right now he didn’t have the strength for those.

A rap of his knuckles against Aaron’s door had the man looking up from the paperwork he’d been doing. At the sight of Spencer, he actually pushed up to his feet and Spencer caught a glimpse of that look that so few people got to see on the man’s face. It was an almost fatherly concern, one that he only showed for those close to him. His family, his team. Seeing it now told Spencer that he must really look worse than he felt. He wouldn’t know; he’d deliberately avoided any mirrors back at the house. Maybe he should’ve taken the time to take a look. “Reid, you should’ve told me you still weren’t well. I would’ve given you more time off.”

“I ah, I need to talk to you. Sir. Do you have a moment?”

The worry in Aaron’s eyes grew. But he gestured with one hand towards the chair across from him. “Of course. Come in.”

Spencer made a point to shut the door. He knew Aaron would worry more at the gesture, but he needed this to be private. At least for now.

His nerves were making themselves known again as he made his way over and took the seat that Aaron had gestured to. As he sat, so did his boss, leaving the two facing one another across the desk. Now that this moment was here it was so much harder than Spencer had pictured it being. _No turning back_ , he reminded himself. This was it. His hands were surprisingly steady when he reached down into his messenger bag and pulled out the slim folder inside. Reaching out, he laid it down on Aaron’s desk. Then he lifted his eyes and met the gaze of the man who had been boss, mentor, and friend for quite a few years now. It made it so much harder to say the next words. “This is my resignation, sir, effective immediately. I already spoke with Strauss this morning and set the wheels in motion, but this is my official paperwork. I wanted to deliver it to you personally.”

“Resignation?” Aaron pulled the folder towards him and spared only a brief moment to look inside. Then his eyes were back on Spencer once more and his stare was much more intense than before. “Reid, what’s going on?” The question was asked as a friend, he knew, not as a boss. This was Aaron wanting to know what was wrong with Spencer, not a unit chief wanting to know what was wrong with one of his team members.

Spencer folded his hands in his lap in an effort to keep them away from his stomach. It’d become such a common practice over the past few days to cradle his stomach when he felt nervous or upset or nauseous. Much of the past few days had been spent lying in bed curled up with his hands or arms cradling the only real reason he had to keep on going right now. However, by folding his hands on his lap now, he also managed to put them there for Aaron to see even without meaning to, and a flick of his gaze told Spencer that the man had noticed the lack of Spencer's wedding ring. He was a smart man. He knew what that meant. Meeting his eyes, Spencer gave just a small nod, a tiny little confirmation. He kept his voice steady, though. “I’m sorry, Hotch. This wasn’t a decision I made easily or lightly, but it was one that had to be made. This is what I need to do.” Pausing, he hesitated only briefly before adding. “I don’t want this to adversely affect Derek’s work here, sir.”

This time it was Aaron who hesitated. It was just briefly, though. “Spencer—Morgan requested a transfer out of the unit this morning.”

Wow. Spencer hadn’t expected that. There was a moment of both gratitude and heartache. Two conflicting things that he couldn’t help but feel. Gratitude that Derek had apparently done something to potentially try and make this easier on Spencer. Heartache, because there was a part of him that wondered if Derek had only done it to make things easier on _him_ , or if maybe he’d just wanted to get that far away from Spencer. _That’s not fair_ , Spencer told himself. _Besides, he wasn’t the one who ran away, was he?_

Spencer swallowed down the lump in his throat. “I’m sure he’ll be willing to reconsider once he’s made aware of my leaving.” Stopping, he blew out a breath and let go of just enough of his control to offer his boss a small, sad smile. “I’m not changing my mind, Hotch. This isn’t a decision I made based solely on the trouble between Derek and myself. There are other, more important things behind my choice.”

Surprise briefly lit Aaron’s gaze. His eyes flickered down, towards Spencer's stomach, and then back up to his face. Whatever he saw on Spencer's face obviously confirmed his thoughts. Understanding and compassion both colored his expression. “Does he know?”

“Not yet.” Spencer drew one hand in, resting it over his stomach. “But he will once we’re done here. He’s my next stop.”

Aaron nodded his understanding. And really, Spencer knew that he did understand. This wasn’t just Spencer running away from a bad marriage. There was someone else involved, a life that was much more important than his, far more important than any problems he and Derek were having, and he had to do what was best for that little life. Working as a field agent at the BAU wasn’t it. Spencer didn’t want to be an absent parent, which he would be if he worked here, and he didn’t want to hire someone else to basically raise his child just so he could continue his job here. Maybe it worked for some, but it was never an option for him. He’d always planned on leaving if he ever got pregnant. Besides, while male carriers were more common than they used to be, they still weren’t always widely accepted. A lot of people considered them unnatural or against God, worse freaks than the mutants, and having a male visibly pregnant on the team would probably make their work that much harder. They didn’t need that and he didn’t either. He didn’t really trust his powers to behave, either. They’d already showed a startling tendency to do what they wanted when he was ill. He could only imagine how things were going to go while pregnant.

“Is there anything you need?” Aaron asked him. “Do you have some place to stay?”

Spencer smiled. “I’ve got it handled, Hotch.”

“If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call. Leaving the Bureau doesn’t mean that you get to leave us behind.” The man warned him. “We’ve all been family for far too long. You’re not going to be able to get rid of us. Especially once the girls find out. We’ll all be here for you, Reid, whatever you need.”

Damn these hormones! Spencer fought back the tears that welled up at that speech and he nodded. “Thanks, Hotch.”

* * *

The next visit wasn’t going to be anywhere near as pleasant as that one had been. Spencer stood outside of Derek’s office and stared at the shut door with a feeling of trepidation. He didn’t want to do this. He really, really didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to go in there, didn’t want to see Derek, didn’t want to stand in an office they’d had so many good memories in. Memories that would now only bring him pain. So much of Spencer wanted to just turn tail and run once more. He could feel his power gathering inside of him, threatening to take him away.

No, it was no time to chicken out now. He had to be strong. He had to do this. Now was not the time to break apart. That could be done later when he was far away from here. Right now he needed to get through this. Gathering up his courage, he rapped lightly on the door and waited for the “It’s open!” before he came inside.

Derek was sitting behind his desk writing on something when Spencer walked in. He looked up almost absently and Spencer caught a glimpse of the tired look on his face that was only barely hidden underneath his work mask. Then he saw life flare there as Derek realized just who it was. “Spencer!”

There was stark relief in Derek’s voice when he called out Spencer's name. He pushed up from his desk and made as if to come around it towards. He stopped when Spencer took a visible step back. The two stayed quiet for a long moment. It was Spencer who broke it. He reached behind him, carefully shutting the office door. Then he turned back to face his husband. It took everything he had not to start to cry once more when he looked at him. Not to scream at him and demand that he _fix this_. That somehow he make this go away.

Derek watched the play of emotions across his face. His own look was worried and just slightly haggard. “Where’ve you been, Spencer? I was worried about you.”

“Were you?” Spencer couldn’t stop the bitter words from slipping out.

Derek flinched back from them. Temper snapped briefly in his eyes, only to be buried underneath a bit of hurt. “Of course I was.” His voice was a bit gentler this time. “Spencer, all of this, this whole thing, it doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”

“You just don’t love me anymore.” The words hurt to say. They hurt so damn much it was almost crippling.

“You really want to do this here?” Derek asked him. He lifted a hand, gesturing around his office. “ _Here_?”

Biting his lip, Spencer shrugged one shoulder. “It’s the most neutral territory I could come up with, and the only place I knew we’d both be forced to stay calm, and where I can’t just ‘run’.” The slight emphasis he put on ‘run’ made it clear what he meant. Not running, exactly, but vanishing. He couldn’t do that here. Not without risking a whole hell of a lot. Doing this here forced him to actually stay. It was a precaution he knew he needed to take. Running was too easy for him. Everyone has a flight or fight response to trouble and Spencer's had always been geared towards flight.

Derek knew all of that about him. At one point, Spencer would’ve said that Derek knew him better than anyone else. Sighing, the older profiler gave a small nod in agreement or understanding or something. Then Spencer watched as he braced himself for the conversation they were about to have. He straightened, shoulders squaring like he was physically bracing for a blow, and he looked right at Spencer as he spoke in a voice that was steadier and calmer than before. “A part of me is always going to love you, Spencer. But you can’t deny that we haven’t been _in love_ for a while.”

“Why didn’t you come talk to me?”

“I should’ve.” Derek didn’t bother denying it. He didn’t make excuses. That had always been something Spencer had enjoyed about him. When they truly argued—and they had, of course, because all couples argue—Derek had never made excuses for himself. He offered explanations, yes, but he didn’t make excuses. Not for himself and not for others. “I should’ve told you I was unhappy, Spencer, and I’m sorry. You’ve got every right to be pissed at me. But I _am_ sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

He didn’t want to hurt him? Bang up job he’d done there. Spencer swallowed down the sob that he had a feeling would’ve come out a little more hysterical than he would’ve liked. When he spoke, his voice was lower, just a bit hoarse. “I keep feeling so stupid.” Spencer looked down at his hands. His fingers were twisting together in an old, nervous gesture. It felt strange without what had become a familiar weight on his finger. “I mean, I’m a profiler. I should’ve seen something, right? I should’ve been able to read the signs. But I missed it.” Wide brown eyes lifted to Derek once more. “How did I miss this? I knew we were having trouble, but, _this_?”

It hurt Spencer to see the pain on Derek’s face. Even with all of this between them, he didn’t want the man to hurt. He’d never wanted that. “I’m a profiler too.” Derek pointed out softly. “I knew how to hide things. Besides…” He paused, looking even more pained than before. “When was the last time we really paid each other any attention?”

The truth of that cut sharper than any knife. Spencer took a step back from it. He took a full step back, arms coming up to wrap around his waist, and he fought to keep what little composure he had left. They weren’t done here, not by half, and he had to stay in control. But…he had to know. Even though he knew it’d hurt, he had to _know_. “Do you love her?”

Derek winced. “Spencer.”

“Don’t.” Spencer cut in. “Don’t ‘Spencer’ me. Just…do you love her?”

The quiet that fell over them was heavy, almost smothering. But even before Derek opened his mouth, the answer showed all over his face. It was written there clear as a bell. “Yes. I do.” Derek said.

The last of any hope that Spencer might’ve been carrying in his heart fell away at those three soft words. There was no turning back now. No salvaging this. Closing his eyes, he remembered a different time, a different place, when Derek had said those three words to him. A time when Spencer had been happier than he’d ever been before. When he’d thought that he finally had everything in life. Now he stood here with the shattered remains of his marriage at his feet and he couldn’t stop a few tears from slipping free. Eyes still closed, he spoke in a voice that had gone low and soft, stripped bare of all pretenses. “I’m going to see a lawyer this afternoon. I’ll get the paperwork started. I don’t…You can have the house. With my memory—I can’t stay there. I just can’t.”

“Where are you gonna go?” Derek’s voice was just as soft. He didn’t try to stop Spencer, didn’t protest any of this. But Spencer could hear just how much it was hurting him, too.

Another tear slipped free. “For now, either to a hotel, or with friends. Just until I can find a place of my own and figure out what I want to do with, with work.”

“I put in for a transfer.”

“I know.” Spencer made himself open his eyes again. He ignored the tears that were still trailing down his cheeks. “I told Hotch to hold off and talk to you again. You don’t need to leave. I’m…I turned in my resignation this morning. I’ve already spoken with Strauss and everything. My vacation days and PTO cover any two week waiting period they might’ve implemented. I’ll have to come in a few times, to either finalize some paperwork from old cases, or make court appearances on any past cases I was involved in. But officially, my resignation from the Bureau is already processed and in the system. I’m just Dr. Reid now.”

“Spencer.” Derek sounded even more pained than he had before. He took a half step forward, one hand lifting like it was going to reach out to Spencer only to clench down halfway there and drop limply back to his side. “You didn’t have to do that. I didn’t want you to do that.”

It was now or never. There was no more holding this back. Now, it was time to say the most important thing he’d come in here to say. He couldn’t keep this from Derek even if a selfish part of him wanted to. He had to tell him. The man had a right to know. “I didn’t do this for you.” Spencer told him softly. He pressed one hand flat against his stomach and he made himself meet Derek’s eyes. “I was going to tell you that night. I’m…I’m pregnant.”

Any other moment and the stunned look on Derek’s face might’ve been funny. But nothing about this was funny. Nothing.

Spencer had been so sure he was prepared for any reaction that Derek might’ve given; even the negative ones. He’d thought for sure he was prepared for it. Yet nothing could’ve prepared him for just how much it ripped him apart to hear Derek say “Is it mine?” Almost immediately he looked regretful and when he saw Spencer's full bodied flinch, he took another small step forward. “Spencer, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“You meant exactly that.” Spencer hissed at him, angry and hurt. The anger was easier to deal with. Safer. It pushed the hurt down to a more manageable level and gave him the strength to straighten up once more. “Even if just for one moment, you actually thought that this child wasn’t yours. That maybe I was cheating too. In fact, I’d guess that you _hoped_ for it, because maybe then you wouldn’t feel so bad. If you weren’t the only one to break our vows, maybe it would assuage you of your own guilt, hm?”

“That’s not what I meant!” Derek snapped. “Don’t put words in my mouth!”

“I didn’t have to.” Tightening his arms around himself, Spencer squared his shoulders. “The child’s yours, Derek. I haven’t slept with anyone else. Hell, I’ve barely slept with my husband. But this child is yours. Yours and mine.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was going to tell you that night. I had a dinner planned and everything. And, well, we both know how that ended, don’t we?

Derek didn’t let that deter him. “Why not after?”

“I wanted to deal with our marriage issues before I told you, because I didn’t want you trying to fix things solely for the sake of our child. I won’t stay in a marriage that’s broken.”

“You can’t keep me from my child.”

Spencer's head snapped back like he’d been slapped. He stared at Derek with wide eyes. Did he really think that Spencer would do that? That Spencer, of all people, would deny a child one of its parents? The pain inside grew stronger, twisting at his insides. It showed in his voice when he whispered “IF you seriously think that about me, than you never really knew me at all, Derek Morgan.”

This was too much. It was just too much. He couldn’t handle this. The urge to run, to just teleport out of here, was so strong he was almost quivering with the need of it. Before he even realized what he was doing his hands were fumbling at the doorknob and he was yanking the door open. He only got three steps out of the office before Derek caught hold of his arm. “Dammit, Spencer, don’t you dare run off on me. We need to talk about this!”

“Let me go.” Spencer's whole body was shaking and he was terrified he was going to break apart right here in the middle of the hallway. “ _Let me go_.”

Around them, a few of the pictures hanging on the walls rattled, a clear indicator of just how upset Spencer was. Derek saw that and his eyes went wide. He knew it had to be bad for Spencer to be slipping like this. Right here, in the middle of the damn _FBI_. Immediately he gentled both his grip and his voice. “Okay, Spencer. Okay. Calm down. We’re both upset right now. We’re both hurt and we’re both angry, but that’s no excuse. I shouldn’t have said that. Why don’t we just calm down, maybe step back in my office for a bit, and we can talk about this like adults.”

Spencer's power lashed out for him and Derek’s hand jerked off of him like he’d just been burned. The young genius wasted no time in taking advantage and darting away from him. He ignored anyone calling out to him, anyone who tried to stop him. His feet carried him quickly out of the building while he fought so hard to keep himself under control. He just had to get to the parking lot, that was all. Out there he would be able to get himself out of here without being seen. He just had to get himself to the parking lot.

He was almost there when he heard Derek’s voice calling out his name behind him. Spencer put on one last burst of speed, running now, and he cleared around the cement pole at the entrance to the parking garage. Two steps in, out of the view of the cameras, and he was gone with a rush of power so strong it set off the car alarms on every car in that row.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I hope you like it :)

Spencer wasn’t expecting anyone to be there when he teleported himself to the same room he’d spent the past three days in. Therefore, he was rather surprised when he stumbled in his landing and just seconds later he was caught by a strong pair of arms. Arms that easily braced him up. “Woah dere, cher.” Remy’s warm voice came from right beside him. “Y’r lucky Remy’s got good reflexes. Y’ almost face-planted right into de footboard.”

“Remy?” Confused and still feeling more than out of sorts, Spencer could only furrow his brow and stare as Remy helped him straighten back up. “What…what’re you doing here?” Had he overshot, maybe? Thought wrong and sent himself to Remy’s room somehow instead of the guest room he’d been using?

“I wanted to wait fo’ y’.” Freeing up one hand, Remy gestured to the nightstand by the bed. A book sat there as well as a mug of what smelled like coffee. Spencer looked back to Remy and found those devil eyes running over his face. The Cajun was looking at him in a way that said he was drinking in every little detail he saw there. “I had a feeling y’ might need a friend when y’ got back.” He lifted one hand and brushed his thumb over Spencer's cheek and across the moisture that Spencer hadn’t even realized was there. Remy’s expression softened slightly. “Dat bad, hm? _Je suis désolé, mon ami_.”

Spencer's arms came in and curled around himself as Remy helped him to sit down on the bed. He sort of wanted to lean back in to the man’s touch. His friend had never offered him anything but comfort and in that moment that was something that Spencer desperately craved. He felt way too raw on the inside. Too torn apart. But it was too ingrained on him to not lean on anyone. Especially after all this. He needed to stand on his own two feet and rely on himself. That was the safest and smartest thing to do. So, instead of allowing himself the comfort, he drew back slightly from it, forcing himself to pull away. He didn’t see the way that Remy’s expression tightened briefly before it smoothed back out again. He had no idea just how much the Cajun wanted to go and find Derek and punch him for all of this right about now.

Remy folded himself down onto the bed near Spencer's side. He was close enough to offer a silent sort of comfort without being close enough to spook the young genius. If Spencer had been in a better frame of mind, he might’ve recognized what Remy was doing. The subtle way he was approaching Spencer, like he was some wounded animal that he was trying not to spook. But Spencer was way too caught up inside of his own head and his heartbreak at the moment to notice much of anything.

“Do y’ wanna talk about it?” Remy offered lowly.

Almost instantly Spencer shook his head. No, he very much did _not_ want to talk about it. The last thing he needed was to cause more damage to the friendship between Remy and Derek. He was trying so hard not to screw up his husband’s friendships with everyone. The problems that they had were between them. He didn’t want everyone else getting upset with Derek over it. He didn’t want the man to end up being alone because of this. It wasn’t like he could help who he loved, right? Even if it wasn’t Spencer anymore. Even if it ripped out Spencer's insides to do it.

Lifting a shaky hand, Spencer wiped it down his face, and he tried to think of what to say to salvage this so Remy didn’t just make assumptions and get pissed off from those. “He just, he said a few things in the heat of the moment. Stupid things that he didn’t mean.” Spencer knew he didn’t mean them. Of course he didn’t. That was just Derek’s own temper and hurt and fear talking. Those feelings made people say things all the time that they didn’t mean. Spencer looked up at Remy and offered him the best smile he could. Even he knew it fell short of the mark, though. “It’s fine, Remy. You know as well as I do that when Derek gets upset like this, he doesn’t always think before he opens his mouth. When he’s scared, he falls back on anger, and his mouth runs away from him. He’s _always_ been like that.”

“That don’t make it okay, Spencer.” Remy said firmly.

“Of course it doesn’t. But it makes it easier to forgive.” He looked back down at his lap and shrugged one shoulder. “I can’t stay mad at him. What purpose would it serve? I want him to be happy, Rem, and I want him to be involved in our child’s life. If I want any of that to happen, I can’t be fighting with him. We’re both going to have to learn to forgive each other and let go, because I refuse to put our child between us.”

Remy reached out and brushed a bit of hair behind Spencer's ear, smiling at him with a soft look on his face when Spencer peeked up at him. “Y’r too nice, cher.”

Shrugging, Spencer offered him a quiet smile back. “I don’t know any other way to be.”

“ _Je sais_. Dat’s part of y’r charm.” Remy winked at him, making Spencer chuckle. “Y’ got any idea what y’r gonna do next?”

“I need to find a place to stay. Get a hotel, get things figured out. Then, then I guess I need to start figuring out what I want to do. I’m not exactly the type to want to stay unemployed for long. I need work.”

“Spencer,” Shifting a little, Remy drew his legs in and crossed them and then leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Y’ gotta know dat y’ve got a place here, cher. An I aint meaning just as _mon ami_ , or as Logan’s. De Professor’s been wanting y’ here fo’ a long time now. He knows y’ aint a fighter like we are, _mais_ y’d be an amazing teacher.”

“I can’t keep this child away from Derek, no matter how mad at him I am.” Spencer said. One hand rested lightly on his stomach. He wasn’t going to take Derek’s child away from him. That wouldn’t be fair and it wouldn’t be right. No matter how mad at the man he was, he wasn’t going to take his child away from him, and he also wasn’t going to make their child miss out on having both their fathers. He couldn’t punish them just because he was mad and hurt.

Remy reached out and laid a hand on Spencer's knee. He ignored the way it made Spencer startle and just kept the light pressure there. “Of course y’ won’t, cher, and I aint suggesting dat. I know y’r not gonna deny Derek his rights to y’r _bébé_. _Mais_ , aren’t y’ forgetting dat it only takes y’ a thought to travel? No matter how far apart y’ two live, y’ll be able to travel to see him in just de blink of an eye.”

That…that was true. Spencer hadn’t thought about that. Traveling wasn’t that hard for him and it was even easier with a place that was familiar. It wouldn’t be hard to set up some sort of system for him to take their child to go and see Derek. They might not be able to have a formal custody arrangement considering their circumstances and Derek’s job, but they could work out something. Of course, that would mean that they’d have to work things out enough to be able to talk to one another. But they had nine months to be able to do that. And he couldn’t deny the appeal behind starting over somewhere other than DC. Staying in town would be hard on him. Everywhere he’d go, there’d be memories waiting for him. All the restaurants he liked, the bars he’d go to, everywhere that he enjoyed would carry a memory of having been there with Derek.

But, staying here? As a teacher? “I don’t know, Remy. Me, a teacher?”

“Y’d make an amazing teacher.” Remy didn’t hesitate to tell him. He was smiling at Spencer in that way of his that just seemed to draw out the smiles of those around him. “Spencer, y’ve got an amazing mind full of so much knowledge. Imagine de t’ings y’d teach de kids here! Dey’d benefit from having someone like y’ as a teacher. An it’d be a great place fo’ de _bébé_ to grow up, too, surrounded by people who aint gonna judge dem fo’ being a mutant. Dey’d grow up in a place where being a mutant is okay.”

That last part caught Spencer's attention more than anything else Remy had said. The appeal of it was undeniable. He knew what it was like to feel awkward and out of place. To be the strange one. Sure, his mutation wasn’t visible, but he’d been different nonetheless. He’d been too scrawny, too awkward, too smart, and he’d had to work to keep his mutation a secret so it wouldn’t make him even more of an outcast. That wasn’t a life he wanted for his child. The idea of raising them up somewhere that they’d be able to be free—where their differences would be celebrated instead of scorned or feared, that held so much appeal. _So much_. The child could grow up in a school setting where everyone was a little different. Where mutations didn’t have to be hidden.

Spencer tipped his head up and slanted Remy an amused look. He knew when he was being played. Even if it _was_ with the best of intentions. “You’re shameless.”

The man didn’t even pretend to look ashamed of himself. “ _Oui_. Is it working?”

A low chuckle slipped out. Spencer brushed some of his hair back from his face and shook his head. “Shameless.” He repeated. But he was still smiling. He couldn’t deny the appeal of what Remy was offering. It sounded almost like an answer to his prayers, here. A perfect answer to his current problems. But it also sounded a little too good to be true. “I’ll talk with the Professor about it.” He finally conceded. “I’m not making any promises, but I’ll speak with him. If things work out, I’ll start looking around to the city for a place to stay.”

The way that Remy lit up at that was almost enough to make him laugh again. “Why look around? Aint no one gonna care if dis room here gets turned into somet’ing a bit more permanent.”

“No.” On this, Spencer would stay firm. “If I end up working here—and that’s still an _if_ —I’ll want my own place in town. I’ll _need_ my own place. Somewhere for me and the child, and where my friends can come to see me. Somewhere that Derek can come as well. I can’t stay at a place where my friends and family won’t be able to visit.”

Remy nodded his head. “I can respect dat.” Then, much to Spencer's amusement, he pushed himself up off the bed with one easy move and then held his hand out to Spencer. “Well, c’mon den, cher. Let’s go find de Professor.”

For a moment Spencer just stared at Remy’s hand. Then, he gave a mental shrug. _Why not? Why not go right now_? Maybe something good could come out of this day. If he stayed here, all he’d do would be to sit and brood about his conversation with Derek. What would that solve?

“Okay.” With a small smile, Spencer reached up and took Remy’s hand.

* * *

Forty minutes later found Spencer standing inside of the office that was going to become his. He felt kind of stunned as he stood there and looked around the room. It wasn’t a large office, thankfully. He didn’t need a large one. It was a smaller office attached to a large room that would, according to Charles, be his classroom. Spencer stared around him and couldn’t quite believe it. This was just, it seemed—he had no words for this. No words at all. He hadn’t really expected this! Sure, Remy had said that Charles would want him here, and Charles _had_ offered it in the past, but even so Spencer still hadn’t expected this. He wasn’t sure _what_ he’d been expecting, but it hadn’t been his own office and a steady class that would start in two weeks. _Two weeks_. How on earth was he going to prepare his own lesson plans in two weeks?

He’d be teaching two classes. In the morning, he’d have his Advanced Chemistry class and in the afternoon would be World Lit. Between the two he’d definitely be kept busy.

“Y’ all right dere, cher?”

Spencer could hear the teasing in Remy’s voice. He turned slowly in the center of the room and looked back to where his two friends were standing. Logan and Remy were both standing just inside the room and were watching him with a smile.

Wiping a hand over his face, Spencer looked back towards the oak desk that was now his. “I just… this isn’t what I expected. _At all_. It feels, it’s like it’s happening so fast.” So much faster than he’d thought. Was this really his life now? Was this what he was going to do? A week ago, he’d had a home, a husband, and though he hadn’t realized it right at the time, the start of a family. Sure, they’d had their problems, but he’d been willing to work on them. Then, with one knock on his door, everything had changed. His whole world had been turned upside down on this insane roller coaster that he felt like he was still riding on. Spencer brought his hands up and pressed them flat against his stomach. “I don’t know what I’m doing here.” The words slipped out before he could stop them. They were true, though. He had no idea what he was doing here.

“You’re livin’.” Logan said firmly. He leaned against the wall and watched Spencer carefully, but made no move to get too close. “You’re taking the shit hand you’ve been dealt and you’re making the best of it, pup. That’s what you’re doing.”

“I had a life.” The words ripped their way from the aching place inside of Spencer. He turned back towards his friends and his eyes were agonized. “I had everything a person could want. A husband, a job I loved, a home. Now…now it’s all _gone_. It’s gone and it’s not coming back, and everything’s changed. I’ve lost my husband, my home, my job. I’m pregnant and getting d-divorced and I don’t, I don’t even have my job or my friends anymore. Instead, I’ve got, got _this_.” One hand came up and gestured around him. The sound he made wasn’t quite a laugh and was just a hair too hysterical for his comfort. “I don’t know what I’m doing here. I feel like, like I’m just falling, all the time, and I keep scrambling to stay up and I don’t know, I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. Am I doing the right thing here? Am I making the right choices for my child? I’m leaving behind my friends, my husband, everything I’ve known for so many years now. I’m taking this child away from its other father just because I’m selfish enough to not want to be around him. Am I making the right choice?” He desperately needed someone to tell him that he was doing the right thing here. That he wasn’t making a mistake.

“First of all, don’t y’ dare call y’rself selfish.” Remy said firmly. He took a step forward, pushing away from the wall and towards Spencer. With one hand he pushed his sunglasses up to the top of his head and then he fixed Spencer with a firm look. “De last t’ing anyone can call y’ is selfish. Y’ t’ink of y’rself less dan anyone I’ve ever met, cher. Y’ always put everyone else first.”

Logan voiced his agreement with that. “Gumbo’s right. You always look out for everyone else. It’s about time you try and think of how to take care of you, too.”

“Second of all, y’r not only doing what’s best fo’ y’, y’r doing what’s best fo’ de chile here too, Spencer. Y’r providing de _bébé_ with a home and y’r choosing a steady job where y’ll be able to be dere fo’ y’r child instead of flying all round de country on a job dat runs de risk of y’ maybe not making it back home. Y’r making de right choices, fo’ y’rself and fo’ de _bébé_.” Remy said.

Pushing off from the wall, Logan moved to stand by Remy, putting them both closer to Spencer still without crowding him. “It may feel fast, kid, but you aint the type to just sit on your ass and do nothing. Especially not when you’re hurting. You’re a planner and a doer.”

“Derek’s going to be furious with me.” Spencer whispered.

The two men with him let out twin snorts. “Let him.” Remy said firmly. “Y’r doing what’s best fo’ y’ and dat _bébé_ , Spencer, in a situation dat wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t screwed up. Let him get as mad as he wants. Y’r doing de right t’ing here.”

“An it aint like you’re taking the kid away from him.” Logan added in. “With powers like yours, distance aint an issue. You can still see him and your friends, every day if you want. Knowing you, you probably will, too.” Everything about Logan softened in that way he had with those closest to him. “You’re doing the right thing, Spencer.”

A soft breath slid from Spencer with just a small shudder. He nodded his head, a little too choked up at the moment to trust his voice. It felt good to hear his friend say that. It felt really good. Not just to hear it, but to look at them and be able to see that they were both firmly on his side in this. They were both there, ready to support him in whatever he needed, firmly in his camp. That made it just a little bit easier to breathe.

The sound of footsteps drew their attention and had the three looking up just as Scott came up to the door to Spencer's office. The man was smiling as he stepped into the room. “Hey, I just heard the news.” He said as he came in, his smile growing. “I had to come over and say welcome, and it’s about damn time you joined us here.”

Surprised laughter bubbled up in Spencer's throat. “Thanks, Scott.”

“You need any help getting things set up in here?” Scott looked around at the mostly empty room, which was still slightly dusty and devoid of pretty much everything except the desk. “I’m sure we’ve got some extra stuff in storage we can bring out to get you set up. Whatever else, we can see about ordering.”

The sound of Remy’s smoking laugh and Logan’s low, growling one filled the room, making Scott turn curiously towards them. Spencer just grinned. “I think I can manage it.” Amused, he took another look around him and then drew in a deep breath. It took almost nothing at all to call up the power in him. Focusing it the way he’d learned so long ago, he lifted a hand and waved it past the one wall. He heard the surprised sound from Scott as a bookshelf materialized there. Spencer smirked and continued turning and moving his hand around as he called up the bare necessities of what he would need. Two bookshelves, empty for now until he could get his own books in here, a comfortable chair for him behind the desk, two comfortable chairs on the other side, a long cupboard to go against the far wall underneath the window, an area rug to cover the floor, a tall filing cabinet tucked into the corner, and one final wave to take away the buildup of dust that was on what was already here.

When he turned back around, he couldn’t help but grin at the stunned look on Scott’s face. “This should do, for now. I’ll bring in some of my own books to fill the shelves, of course.”

Scott looked around the room and then back at Spencer. After a pause, he shook his head. “I forget sometimes just what you’re capable of.” His lips curved up in an amused grin. “People must underestimate you constantly.”

“He likes it dat way.” Remy chimed in.

Spencer just smiled.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. He could make this work. It would be hard, he knew, and he was going to have to work at it. But he could make this work. He could make the best of the hand he’d been dealt. For himself, and for the little life growing inside of him. He could make this work. He _would_. No matter what it took. Looking over at Remy and Logan, he knew he wasn’t going to do it alone, either. So long as he had his friends here by his side, and his friends back home as well, he could make it through all of this.


	5. Chapter 5

Spencer waited a full day before he went back to see Derek again. Not only did that give Derek time to wrap his head around everything, it gave Spencer time to erect the shields he was so out of practice using. It gave him time to push down the hurt and the anger and shut that part of himself off. That part had no business being here. There was no point to it. Why bother being angry with him? What would it serve? It wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t take back the affair, or magically make this all go away. Not even his powers were capable of that. Nothing could stop him from being angry or upset, but there was no point in showing them. That would serve no purpose. They needed to find a way to move beyond this so that they could manage to deal with one another for the sake of their child. His own feelings didn’t matter in the scheme of things.

At the insistence of his friends, he’d stayed at the mansion for the night, not setting out for DC until early afternoon the next day—once the nausea had had a chance to rise and fade away. From there, though he didn’t tell his friends, he went first to his appointment with his lawyer. He knew that Remy or Logan, or both, would’ve gone with him if he’d asked. Hell, he wouldn’t have even had to ask. If he’d told them where he was going, both would’ve offered and he knew it. He just…he wanted to do it alone. He didn’t want a witness as he started the process of ending his marriage. It was something he needed to do alone.

It wasn’t until he was done there that he finally headed to the place that had been home for a little over two years now. A place that had lost all sense of home for him. As he stood inside the living room and looked around, the sense of peace he usually felt here was gone. There was no peace, no sense of home and safety. This place had become a safe haven for him in his marriage. The one place in the world he felt like he could go and not have to worry. Where he was free to be himself without fear of ridicule or rejection. Awkward, nerdy, mutant, genius, none of those labels were things he had to be afraid of here. He had been free to just be _Spencer_. Having that security taken away was a lot more devastating than he’d realized.

He bit his bottom lip and looked around him again. Where did he have to go for that now? Where was safe? Where was _home_? Right now he didn’t really have one. There were places he could lay his head but none of them were home.

Spencer brought one hand up to lay over the swell of his stomach. A swell that he’d thought was just bloating until he’d gone to his appointment. Though now, as he rubbed his hand over it, he wondered how the hell he’d convinced himself of that. The swell was noticeable even if it wasn’t all that big. Though, honestly, it was just slightly bigger than he figured it should be. He looked more like an average female would at ten weeks pregnant. Male carriers were notoriously more slender in the first trimester as their bodies made all the adjustments necessary. On average, male pregnancy lasted a week or two longer as well because of that slow start. Because of that, the first trimester for a male carrier lasted two weeks longer than a female’s first trimester. It wasn’t until the start of the second trimester that male and female pregnancies evened out and began to run the same.

The fact that he was showing already was probably due to the fact that he was so slender to begin with. That was the conclusion he came to. Rubbing slightly at his stomach without realizing it, Spencer reminded himself that he needed to set up an appointment with his obstetrician by the end of the week. His first appointment had been a quick one with his general practitioner, not his OB. The man had tested his blood and urine and given him the diagnosis and then recommended that he go see his OB within a week. There, he’d go through his first real pregnancy exam, and he’d have an ultrasound done and most likely even be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat. Then, it’d be real.

The nausea seemed to have faded just the slightest. He was grateful for that. Though it’d still hit this morning, it hadn’t lasted as long, and he hadn’t had to throw up since then.

As he listened to the familiar sounds of a car pulling into the driveway, he wondered if that was about to change.

Spencer was still standing there waiting in the living room when the door opened and Derek came inside. He almost laughed at the way Derek startled when he saw him. _Almost_. It was hard to really find too much to be amused about in a situation like this.

It hurt to see how quickly that surprise changed to something much cooler. Derek’s whole expression cooled into that hard look Spencer knew meant he was trying very hard to hold in his temper. The worst part was that Spencer couldn’t blame him for being mad. Nor could he blame him when Derek tossed his keys into the dish on the hall table and coolly asked said “So, you decided to come back. I was wondering how long you’d make me wait this time.” He walked into the living room and sat down on the couch like this was just any other day, like the air wasn’t full of a tension so thick it was stifling. Kicking his feet up on the coffee table, he laid one arm over the back of the couch and tipped his head so that he could look up at Spencer. He arched one eyebrow at him. “Are we going to actually talk, or are you going to run again?”

Spencer winced. Okay, he deserved that. He’d run away every time they’d talked so far. Granted, he’d been upset or hurt, but running away was a childish reaction. He needed to act like an adult if he ever wanted to have any hope of making some sort of peace between them. “I deserve that.” He said lowly. After just a moment’s hesitation, he took a few steps to the side and sank down onto the loveseat. Unlike Derek, he didn’t sprawl out. He sat tightly contained and sort of turned in on himself. But he met Derek’s stare head on. “I’m sorry I ran. I’m sorry I keep running. I don’t know how to handle the kind of pain that you keep doling out.” If Derek was going to be harsh and blunt, than Spencer was going to do the same.

His words struck just as sharp as Derek’s had. He watched his husband flinch a little. Just a bit of the coolness in his expression melted away, though. “I didn’t react well.” He admitted.

“You think?”

“It was a huge thing to learn, Spencer, and at a shit time.”

Huffing out a breath, Spencer gave him a wry look. “You think it was any easier for me?”

“No.” Derek shook his head. “No, I don’t. And I doubt I made it any easier. I’m sorry, Spencer. I want you to know that before anything else. I’m sorry for all this, for everything that’s happening, for how I reacted—all of it. I’m just sorry.”

The words didn’t magically make it all better. They did, however, ease something in Spencer just a little bit. “I know you are.” Long fingers caught a loose thread at the end of one sleeve and started to toy with it absently. “I don’t…I’m not here to talk about our marriage. We both know what’s happening there and hashing it out isn’t going to make it any better. The only thing that’s going to do is make things worse between us, I think, and right now that’s the last thing we need to have happen. I’m here to talk about the baby. _Our_ baby.”

He watched as Derek nodded and more of that coolness melted away until his face looked almost normal. “How far along are you?”

“Ten weeks. It was the best estimate the doctor could give without an ultrasound.” Spencer tugged a little on the loose string he was playing with and he dropped his gaze down briefly before looking back up. Why was this so hard? Why was it so difficult to sit here and talk to him normally like this? He pushed down his discomfort and reminded himself that Derek needed to know this. He had a right to know all of this. “I’m going to go back in this week to see my OB and have a proper exam and my first ultrasound.”

“Can I come?”

The question wasn’t one he’d been expecting. He should’ve been, though. It shouldn’t have been a surprise that Derek would want to be involved in the pregnancy. He probably needed this appointment just like Spencer did so that he could see it was _real_. That there really was life growing inside of him. How could Spencer deny him that. “Okay. I’ll…I’ll let you know when I make the appointment. It’ll be local, for this one.”

“For this one?” Derek repeated.

Immediately, Spencer winced. He hadn’t meant to let that slip like that. He hadn’t been thinking clearly. Then again…maybe this was the best way to lead in to what he had to say. This was the part of conversation he was worried about the most. The part he wasn’t sure how Derek was going to handle. But it was also the most important part of their conversation, he felt. For this, Spencer got himself comfortable, sitting back in his seat and drawing his legs up to tuck his feet underneath himself, his knees pressed together and tipped to the side. It made a sort of comfortable ball for him to sit in with his stomach nicely and carefully cradled in the center. Then he looked back at Derek. Time to get this started. “I…I’m switching doctors. I’ve found one who is a bit better suited to me. He knows how to treat carriers and he, he knows about my mutation and is better suited to handle it than anyone else. And…he’s closer to my new job.”

That had Derek suddenly sitting up straight. Any signs of casualness or relaxation or anything like that were gone. He sat up straight and his whole expression turned intent. “New job?” His eyebrows furrowed and his sharp eyes traveled over Spencer's face, taking in his expression, reading him, before they met his eyes once more. “You’re moving.”

“It won’t affect you being able to see our child.”

“Where are you going, Spencer?”

“You know I can travel.” Spencer said in answer. “All it’ll take is a thought and I can be wherever you are.”

Derek wasn’t easily put off. “ _Where are you going, Spencer_?”

The young genius swallowed down the lump in his throat and then tilted his chin up, refusing to be cowed. _I’m doing the right thing here. I’m doing the right thing._ “I’ve accepted an offer to teach at Xavier’s.” He rushed on before Derek could say anything else, wanting to get his words out quickly. “Like I said, though, distance doesn’t mean anything, Derek. Teleporting to familiar places is easy for me, you know that, so it would only take a second to get from there to here. And no matter what’s going on between us there’s no way I’ll keep our child from you.”

“It’s not just that that I’m worried about. Have you stopped to think about how _dangerous_ it is there? Remy’s told me countless times about attacks they’ve had against them! And that’s where you want to take our child and raise them?”

“I won’t live there!” Spencer hurried to explain. “I’m going to stay in a hotel until I find myself a place nearby. I’m not going to live at the school. But, working there, it’s an amazing opportunity, Derek. You have to see that. It’s an easy job that I can do even while pregnant and it’s in an environment where I’m not going to have to hide who I am. I’ll be more free to be myself there than I’ve ever been anywhere else. Not just me, but our child as well. You know the likelihood of our child being a mutant is a high one. Almost ninety three percent. If I can raise this child in an environment that is mutant friendly, where they’re free to be themselves without fear or shame—can’t you see how wonderful that would be?”

Derek was one of the few people who knew a lot of Spencer's backstory. About what life had been like for him as a child and the treatment he’d received because of his mutation. He knew how he’d been forced to hide it and how he’d come to even be ashamed of that part of himself. Afraid of it. Reminded of that, and with Spencer's impassioned speech, the older profiler deflated slightly. He’d barely had a chance to come to terms with the fact that he was going to be a father. Thinking about his child potentially being a mutant hadn’t even entered into the equation yet. But he couldn’t avoid thinking about it now. “They’d be free and accepted here too, Spencer. Our friends aren’t prejudiced, you know that.”

“I never said they were.” Spencer said softly. “But it’s more than that, Derek. At Xavier’s they’ll be surrounded by people who are mutants, just like them. They’ll be encouraged to use their powers by people who understand what it’s like. Do you understand how amazing that’ll be?”

For a long moment Derek just stared at him. Then, he sighed, deflating ever so slightly. The small smile that touched his lips held a note of self-mockery to it. A wryness that was painful for Spencer to see there. “I guess I can’t complain about you and the child not being here when it’s something of my own making, right?”

“Derek…”

“No, Spencer, it’s fine. It’s the truth. And you’re right, what you’ve got here is a great opportunity, both for our child and for you.” Derek’s eyes warmed a little and the smile he gave Spencer now was soft and sweet and just a bit sad. “I know you’ll do what’s best for our child, baby boy. No matter what. Just so long as I get to be a part of their life, it’s all I guess I can really ask for.”

Tears welled up in Spencer's eyes. Dammit, he’d spent so much of the past few days crying. He hadn’t wanted to do it again. But Derek’s soft words, that sad voice, the use of ‘baby boy’—a nickname that had only ever come out when Derek was feeling especially sweet, or when Spencer was hurt—it was too much for a man who was still adjusting to a flood of new hormones in his body. The tears filled his eyes and quickly spilled over his cheeks. The sight of them had Derek sitting up straight. Before he could say anything or start to panic or anything like that, Spencer held up a hand and waved him off. A handkerchief appeared in his other hand and he used it to wipe off his face. “It’s fine, I’m fine. I’m sorry. These hormones, they take some adjustment and I’m just not quite there yet.”

“Are you doing okay?” The question was asked in honest concern. Derek’s eyes ran over him, like he could see for himself if there were something wrong.

Spencer gave him a watery smile. “I’m okay. Nauseous still, but it’s getting better. I’m okay, Derek. Both of us are.” With that, Spencer laid his free hand against his stomach, against the little swell there where their child was safely tucked away.

The gesture wasn’t lost on Derek. His eyes flickered down and then back up to Spencer's face. A hint of wonder was starting to slip into his dark eyes. “And you said…you’ll let me know when the appointment is? I’d like to be there, Spencer. I’d really like to.”

“Of course. I’ll let you know as soon as the appointment’s made.”

Any further conversation was cut off by the ringing of Derek’s cellphone. He almost didn’t answer it, but answering their phones was too engraved in both men after years and years at the Bureau. Spencer sat back and watched as Derek answered the call. It only took a second of listening to understand—there was a case.

Years of habit had Spencer's body going almost immediately on alert. He straightened up, instinct demanding that he start to move, to gather up his things. His brain was even already running down the list of necessary items for the both of them. Usually one of them got the call and the other would start preparing for the both of them. It felt so very strange to simply sit there and watch. When Derek hung up the phone, their eyes met and Spencer gave a sad sort of smile. “Case?”

“Missing kid in Omaha.” Derek answered him. He slipped his phone down into his pocket as he pushed up to his feet.

Spencer rose as well, that need to go even stronger now that he knew what the case was. He didn’t even think about it as he asked “Where’s the clock?”

“Two hours, twenty one minutes.”

He wanted to go and gather his things. He wanted to start asking other questions, get all the facts of the case. Statistics for missing persons were already playing in his mind and his body was filling with that same sense of adrenaline that always came on cases like this. To shove it all down was difficult. Almost impossible. But he did. He shoved it down and wrapped his control tightly around his emotions. “I better let you go, then. I’ll, um, I’ll call and let you know about the appointment.”

“Thanks, Spencer.”

There was just a moment of awkward silence. Neither one of them knew what to say. They didn’t know how to say goodbye to each other anymore. But they both knew that Spencer had to go. Just as Spencer was about to just say ‘screw it’ and just disappear, Derek stunned him by blurting out “I told the others.”

That was enough to freeze the genius in place. “…what?”

“I told them.” Derek repeated. He squared his shoulders and met Spencer eye to eye. “I told them what I did and why we’re separating. I just, thought you should know that.”

Horror filled Spencer. He’d done _what_? “Derek! Why? Why would you do that?”

“Because they’re not just our teammates, Spencer. They’re our friends. Our family. I wasn’t going to lie to them.” Derek explained. His expression softened. “And I’m the one that screwed up. It was only fair that I was the one to explain it. I know how you hate sharing personal things with people, especially something like this. This way, they all know and they could get their anger and questions out with me. You’ll probably get quite a few hugs, maybe a few phone calls once a couple days have passed and they’ve given you your space, but now they won’t quiz you about it. You’ll be free to talk as much or as little as you need.”

“Derek…” Spencer hadn’t wanted this. He hadn’t wanted it at all.

The look Derek gave him said that he knew that. “I know, Spencer. But I wasn’t going to lie to them. Not to our family. I’ll take the crap they’ll give me. And the sore face.” He gestured at his face and smirked a little. “Garcia packs a helluva slap.”

“She _slapped_ you?”

“She loves you, kid. All of them do. Don’t forget about that when you go.”

* * *

Even as he felt bad for Derek, there was a part of Spencer that was just slightly warmed by finding out what had happened. He knew he shouldn’t be happy that Penelope struck Derek over this—yet he was. It made him feel, loved. Cared for. To know that his friends cared that much for him. There’d been a small part of Spencer, the boy inside him who had always felt like he wasn’t enough, that had worried sometimes about his friendships. Worried that they put up with him first because he was an asset to the team and then later because he was a package deal with Derek. In his heart, he knew better. He knew they loved him. But the scared little boy inside who’d been abandoned by so many had always wondered and worried.

As he went to bed that night, Spencer smiled just a little to himself, one of the first real smiles that he’d had for a while. He was loved. Even with everything else going to hell right now, he was loved, and that feeling was a wonderful one.


	6. Chapter 6

When Spencer had invited Derek to come with him to the next OB appointment there’d sat the knowledge in the back of his mind that the man might not be able to come. He’d spent too many years at the Bureau to not expect a case to crop up just when it wasn’t needed. Being at the BAU didn’t exactly make it easy to have a social life. Still, when the call came in from Derek to let him know _that morning_ that he had to leave, was in fact on his way to the jet as he called, it was still a disappointment. Spencer hadn’t really wanted to go to this appointment alone. Not only was he not really a fan of doctors, he’d sort of cherished the idea of being able to share this moment with someone. He knew that he’d be going in for an ultrasound today and that he’d be hearing the baby’s heartbeat. That was something that he’d really wanted to share with someone. He didn’t want to go alone.

Apparently, he shouldn’t have worried.

Remy was hanging out with him in his hotel room when the call came in. After his visit with Derek earlier in the week, Spencer had gotten a hotel while he searched for an apartment, just like he’d told Derek he would. Remy had taken to coming and hanging out with him there periodically. He never said why, would just smile and make some comment about enjoying the company, but Spencer had a feeling it was a bit more than that. He had a feeling that his friend was doing it all deliberately, trying to make sure that Spencer didn’t slip down into the depression that still tried to suck him under now and again. Though Spencer didn’t say it, he appreciated Remy’s efforts. A lot.

When Spencer hung up from his phone call, he found Remy watching him sympathetically. “A case?”

“Yeah.” Spencer reached a hand up and wiped it over his mouth. Then he dropped it down and drew himself up, refusing to show just how much this upset him. “It’s fine, I knew it could happen. Like I told him, he doesn’t have any control over it.”

“True. Don’t make it any easier, though. I know y’ don’t like going t’ de doctor alone.”

The young genius shrugged one shoulder like it was no big deal. “I’ll survive. I’ve done it before.”

“Dat don’t mean y’ gotta do it now.” Remy pointed out. He pushed himself up out of the chair he’d been lounging in and held one long, slender hand out to Spencer. There was a smile on his lips. “C’mon, cher. Remy’ll come with y’.”

Surprise had Spencer's eyebrows shooting up. Remy wanted to come with him to his appointment? “Remy, you _hate_ doctors.” He felt compelled to point out. There was no way he was going to take his friend into a situation that would make him upset or uncomfortable.

Remy chuckled at him. “Remy hates doctors dat wanna touch _me,_ cher. De doctor aint gonna be after touching Remy. Besides, moments like dis, dey aint meant to be done alone. Unless,” He paused, his expression suddenly just a bit hesitant, and the hand he had held out towards Spencer started to draw back. “I didn’t mean to sound pushy, _mon ami_. If y’ don’t want me dere, dat’s fine. I won’t be offended, I promise.”

“No, no, that’s not it, not at all.” Spencer hurried to reassure him. He didn’t want Remy thinking that he didn’t want him around. Quite the opposite. The idea of having to go to his appointment alone wasn’t a pleasant one and Remy was offering a great alternative here. “I just didn’t want to put you into a situation where you aren’t comfortable, that’s all.”

That wiped away the hesitance on Remy’s face and brought his smile back. “Don’t y’ worry none about me, Spencer. I’ll be fine.”

Looking at his friend’s face, so open and honest, Spencer couldn’t give any answer except “Thank you.” He stepped forward and put his hand in Remy’s. “Just…thanks.”

“Anytime, Spencer.”

Spencer smiled at him and curled their fingers together.

* * *

Having an ultrasound done today meant that Spencer had to go to his appointment with a full bladder. He knew the reasoning behind that; it helps to move the bowels away and the uterus up for better imaging. Logically, he understood all of that. None of that logic helped however as he tried very hard not to think about just how badly he had to pee while he waited to be called back. Beside him, Remy wasn’t even bothering to hide the smirk he wore as he watched Spencer dance in place. Seeing it, Spencer shot him a glare. “Can’t you at least pretend to be sympathetic?”

Remy cocked his head and his expression turned thoughtful for a second before he shook his head no and went back to smirk. “ _Non. Désolé, mon ami._ ”

“You’re horrible.”

“Y’ love it.” Remy said cheerfully.

Rolling his eyes, Spencer pretended to look back down at his magazine. “That doesn’t say much about me. I suppose we all have our faults.”

It only took a second for that to sink in and then Remy was smacking his arm and saying “Hey!” even as he was laughing. “Cheeky lil brat!”

Amusement warmed Spencer's eyes. He snuck a look up at his friend and parroted his words back to him. “You love it.”

Remy laughed even more at that. He knocked his shoulder against Spencer's and then settled down a little more into his chair. It left Spencer smiling as well. This facet of their friendship was something that Spencer loved. There were few people he really relaxed enough to tease with. Remy got surprised sometimes by the things that came out of Spencer's mouth but he never let it stop him from teasing back. He never got mixed up and mistook Spencer for serious when he was joking, like some could do, and he always made sure that there was some way that Spencer could tell that _he_ was joking around. It wasn’t an easy line to walk, Spencer knew, and even the team had had difficulties with it sometimes. Remy, however, had always been pretty good at it. Spencer had once overheard Derek actually _thanking_ Remy for playing around with Spencer the way he did and helping to draw him out of his shell. “He doesn’t get close to a lot of people.” Spencer had heard Derek say. “It’s not easy for him. But you make it easy.”

Remy had replied with “I don’t do it f’ y’, cher. I like him, simple as dat.” And that, for him, had apparently been enough. Spencer hadn’t ever forgotten that conversation.

His trip down memory lane was interrupted by the sound of someone calling his name. When he looked up, he found a nurse standing nearby with a clipboard in hand. He was surprised to discover just how nervous he was as he pushed himself up out of the chair. Remy rose with him and he laid a hand between Spencer's shoulders in a gesture meant to offer comfort. Together, the two followed the technician out of the waiting room. The woman didn’t question Remy’s presence.

It was surprisingly reassuring to have Remy there at his side when they went into the room. There was only a moment of discomfort when Spencer had to lay back and slide his shirt up and the top of his slacks down. Just that little twinge of ‘I’m showing skin in front of him’. But Remy helped to ease it when he settled down into the chair that was up near the top of the bed, putting him by Spencer's shoulder and away from his exposed stomach, and he caught up Spencer's hand in his. For a second Spencer almost rejected the touch. Ever since all of this had started, he’d been pulling back in more, pulling away from any offers of help. Even if Derek hadn’t meant for it to happen, his cheating had pushed Spencer back inside of himself, pushed him down to the boy he’d used to be who only relied on himself. Only trusted himself. But right here, right now, as Spencer watched the technician—who’d introduced herself as Stephanie—bring over the ultrasound wand and the bottle of gel, he couldn’t bring himself to turn away any offer of comfort.

“Okay, this is going to be cold.” Stephanie warned him.

She wasn’t kidding. The gel was _freezing_. Spencer sucked in a breath at the feeling and tried to keep still as she used the wand to spread it around. His bladder protested it as she pushed the wand down against him. That—that was a distinctly unpleasant feeling. Something of it must’ve shown on his face because the technician gave him an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I know it’s not pleasant. It really does help us get a clearer image, though.” She reached out with her free hand and hit a button on the machine that brought it to life. Immediately, Spencer's eyes went to the little screen where the ultrasound image was. “Ah, there we go.” Stephanie murmured. “Let’s see what we’ve got.”

For a minute there was just quiet as she moved the wand around Spencer's stomach, pressing down here and there as she tried to get the best image. Spencer stared at the images with a sense of something like awe inside of him. That was his body right there on that screen. And that—that little blob that she’d just passed over, that was his child. Then she passed over it again and suddenly, Spencer's whole body went still. He saw it at almost the exact same time that his technician did. He was a smart man; he knew how to read ultrasounds. He could see very clearly the image on there .What he saw stunned him. “Oh my God.” Spencer breathed out. Shock had him wanting to sit up, but he was frozen. “There’s…oh God…”

The woman turned to look at him and she flashed a bright smile. “You see it?”

“See what?” Remy asked. He sat up straighter, looking down at Spencer's face with worry and then looking up again, back at the machine. “What’s going on?”

Stephanie grinned and lifted her free hand to point at the machine. “See this right here? Now, watch,” and she moved the wand just right until…there, underneath her finger, were two distinct shapes. “Twins. Congratulations, Dr. Reid, you’re having twins.”

“Twins.” Surprised, Remy just stared. Then he turned around and beamed so damn brightly at Spencer. “Spencer! Y’ got two in dere, cher, did y’ see dat? Twins!”

“No.” The word was barely audible as it slipped past his lips. It stopped the others, though. Stephanie and Remy both looked at him as he pushed himself up just the slightest bit. “No.” He repeated again. Licking his lips, he could barely force the words out his mouth, his voice gone just slightly hoarse. “Move it slightly to the left, down a half an inch.” He wasn’t sure. There was a small chance that he could be wrong. As he watched the wand move, the image shifted and Spencer knew, he saw it, and the room went quiet as the others saw it too. “ _Trois_.” Remy said, stunned. “ _Trois bébés._ ”

“Three.” Stephanie echoed in a voice much more confident than theirs. She was practically beaming at them as she pointed it all out. “Good eye, Dr. Reid. There are three in there. See, over here, Baby A and Baby B are in one sac together while Baby C is over here in a separate one.” She turned to look at him once more. “Congratulations, you’re having triplets!”

Spencer didn’t even realize that he was crying. Not until Remy’s hand cupped his cheek and wiped away the tears. That soft touch brought Spencer's wide eyes away from the screen and up to his friend’s face. Remy was still smiling at him, but his smile was softer now, warmer. His other hand came up so that he was cupping both of Spencer's cheeks, his thumbs chasing the tears away as they fell. His kindness only made Spencer cry even more. “Remy,” The word slipped out, full of fear and wonder and a plea that squeezed Remy’s heart. “What…what am I going to do? I can’t, I mean…one was going to be hard enough, but _three_? I can’t have three!”

“Hey now. Hush y’rself. Y’r gonna be a fantastic father, Spencer.”

“I can’t raise triplets alone!” There was no way he’d be able to. This would’ve been difficult enough if he and Derek were still together. But separated…how on earth was he supposed to raise triplets? How was he going to do this? Not to mention all the risks that a multiples pregnancy entailed. Twins were dangerous enough. A triplet pregnancy was even more so.

Remy’s thumb wiped away more tears. He smiled fondly down at Spencer, like he’d said something both cute and ridiculous. “Who said y’r doing dis alone, cher? Y’r _amis_ aint gonna abandon y’ just cause y’ and Derek and separating. Derek aint gonna just walk away either. He’ll help y’ out. Besides, y’ got me right here, don’t y’? An Logan too. Y’ aint alone, Spencey. We’re all right here with y’ and we’re gonna help y’ get through dis, all right? Every step of de way.”

The tears came a little faster then, but they were more tears of gratitude this time. Tears of joy. “Thank you.” He whispered, leaning his face into Remy’s touch ever so slightly. “Thank you.”

* * *

Fifteen minutes later the two were sitting in the regular examination room. Spencer's doctor, Dr. Pryer, had already done a physical examination. Now came the time for the information part of things. Spencer sat up on the bed with his legs crossed underneath him and Remy perched on the edge of the bed beside him. Dr. Pryer thankfully hadn’t commented on the fact that Derek wasn’t here or that Remy was once again holding on to Spencer's hand. Whatever opinion he had on seeing his patient with a man other than his husband, he kept to himself.

Right now, they were discussing something much more important.

“Are you sure they’re okay?” Spencer was asking him. He’d seen the ultrasound for himself; he’d heard their heartbeats. Yet the fear wouldn’t quite go away. His free hand came in, resting over his small— _too small—_ stomach. “I mean, I know the first trimester of a male pregnancy is longer than a females, but I’m still so slender.”

Dr. Pryer smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry, Spencer. You are on the slender side, but it really isn’t all that surprising. Between the amount of throwing up you’ve had and the natural slenderness that male carries have in the first trimester, plus your own natural build, it’s not that surprising. For the moment, you measure about nine weeks on the average female pregnancy instead of the eleven that you are. That falls well within the normal range for male carriers. Over the next week you’re probably going to start putting on weight. By the time you hit the thirteen week mark, you’re going to be right on track you’re your pregnancy on both the male and female standard, and visibly pregnant. Very much so, I would imagine.”

“But… _three_.”

The way that Spencer said that had Remy chuckling and Dr. Pryer grinning. The older man sat back in his chair a little and settled his clipboard on his lap. “I know you know the numbers, Spencer. Cases of multiples are more common in male pregnancies. I’m confident that, with the proper care, you and those three little ones will make it out of this just fine.” He held up one finger, cutting off whatever they might’ve said. “So long as you take proper care.”

“Absolutely.” Spencer agreed readily. He’d do whatever he had to.

Dr. Pryer nodded and dropped his hand back to his clipboard. “Now, you said you were moving, and the doctor you’re going to see is someone that I very much trust in this field. There aren’t many doctors out there with the reputation that Dr. McCoy has. I’m confident he’ll care for you properly. I want you in to see him within the week, though, just to get yourself established with him and to get whatever recommendations that he has to make for this pregnancy. In the meantime, you said that your nausea was almost gone, correct?”

“That’s correct.”

“Good. I want you to start upping your calorie intake. I’d like to see you getting anywhere between 3,500—4,000 a day, and let’s up your protein as well.” He smiled at the way Spencer wrinkled his nose at all that. “Yes, I know, I’m very annoying.” Shifting his gaze to Remy, the doctor lifted one eyebrow. “You’ll be around him?”

Remy sat up a little straighter. “ _Oui_.”

“Good. Try to help get him to eat more. Spencer's eating habits are atrocious and his GP and I have been trying to get his weight up as much as we possibly can, but he’s rather resistant to the idea of steady meals.”

“Oh don’t worry, dere’s gonna be plenty of people dat’ll make sure he’s gonna eat.” Remy said, smirking down at Spencer. The young genius wrinkled his nose but didn’t argue it. He had a feeling that would be true. Between Remy and Logan, he was sure he’d be kept well fed while at work each day. Speaking of work… “I’ve quit the Bureau.” He told Dr. Pryer. “I have a teaching position now. Is that going to be a problem? I know multiples pregnancies often end in bed rest. But, so long as I’m not up and moving around, teaching from the safety of a comfortable chair should be fine, correct?”

Dr. Pryer looked surprised by the news of Spencer's job change. However, he nodded quickly. “Absolutely. Bed rest doesn’t _always_ happen, Spencer. It’s a case by case basis. So long as everything goes well and you and the babies are healthy, there’s a chance you might not need it. You’ll just have to make sure that you’re careful. Try not to be on your feet for more than an hour at a time for now. Take frequent breaks to rest yourself. Just, trust your body. If you feel tired, rest. If you need to sit, sit. If you want to move, then move. And follow your doctor’s orders. That’ll help insure the safest pregnancy possible.” Pushing up from his chair, the man that had been Spencer's OB for so many years now smiled down at him with open happiness. He didn’t hold out his hand, knowing as he did that Spencer wasn’t always receptive to touch. Instead, he held on to the top of his clipboard and just smiled at him. “I’m very happy for you, Spencer, and I’m sure you’ll have a safe pregnancy. Just, take care of yourself, all right? That’s the best thing you can do.”

“I will, Dr. Pryer. And thank you.” Spencer smiled back at him. “Thank you very much.”

As Remy and Spencer made their way out of the doctor’s office, neither one of them spoke right away. This had been a much more eventful appointment than Spencer had planned for. He had a folder in his hands with all the information the office had on triplet pregnancies, a copy of a prescription for some prenatal vitamins and some folic acid, and printouts of his ultrasound. All the while, one thought echoed through his head: Triplets. He was going to have _triplets_.

Dear God, he was going to get _huge_.


	7. Chapter 7

News like this wasn’t exactly something that people got every day. It was something big, something shocking, and something that Spencer had absolutely no idea now to process. Thinking that he was carrying one child was insane enough. The fact that he was carrying _triplets_? He couldn’t quite wrap his brain around it.

“I knew there was a chance for multiples.” He told Remy as they sat at a restaurant just down the road from the doctor’s office. Remy had brought him here after his appointment to just sit, relax, and get a bite to eat. “Like Dr. Pryer said, male pregnancies carry a higher chance for multiples than female pregnancies do. But…”

“Y’ never thought it’d happen to y’.” Remy filled in. He was still smiling at Spencer. He pretty much hadn’t stopped smiling since they’d seen the babies up on the screen.

There were parts of Spencer that wanted to just sit and smile at this, too. He couldn’t deny that. How could he not be a little happy about having _three_ children? Or about having seen the lives inside of him? He’d seen ultrasounds before which was why he knew how to read them. That hadn’t prepared him for seeing an ultrasound of the lives inside of _him_. Those little babies that he’d seen were his. They were inside him, growing. They were _real_.

Most of that was buried underneath what Dr. Pryer had teased him was ‘expectant mother/father terror’. The idea of bringing one life into the world had scared Spencer. He knew he wasn’t the best person in the world. He wasn’t the most social, or the most comfortable around other people. He was weird and awkward and nerdy and uncoordinated. Who on earth thought him truly capable of safely caring for a child? The most he’d ever done was babysit for others. What made him think he could raise a child? But, worse than that, this wasn’t just one anymore. There were three. Three! How was he going to handle three?

A hand suddenly closed over his. Spencer hadn’t realized just how tightly he’d been clutching his cup until Remy’s hand slipped in and pulled it away. He looked down at their joined hands and then up at Remy’s face. Kind, compassionate eyes met his. “Y’ can do dis, Spencer. I know y’ feel like y’ can’t right now, _mais_ , y’ can.”

“Triplets.” Spencer said softly. It was the only word that seemed to want to come out. “ _Triplets_.”

Remy’s lips quirked up. “ _Je sais_. Dey’re gonna be beautiful.”

“But— _triplets_!”

Chuckling, Remy squeezed his hand one last time before letting go. “Why don’t y’ just eat y’r breakfast an we’ll just let dat sink in a bit, hm? Let y’r brain process it some. Den we can start makin’ plans. Y’r an organized soul. De details will help y’ get through dis.”

It was kind of nice to have a friend that knew him so well. For most of breakfast Spencer was quiet as he tried to process this news. But, like Remy had said, Spencer was an organized soul and details were something that he was good at focusing on. They anchored him, provided solid ground underneath his feet so to speak. Turning his attention towards them gave his brain something to focus on and helped to push down the panic and disbelief. There were plenty enough details to focus on, that was for sure. He’d thought that things were going to be interesting to plan with just _one_ child. Having _three_ was going to vastly change things. The size of the place he was going to be getting would have to be adjusted to accommodate them. The amount of supplies he was going to purchase would triple now, too. Not to mention the larger sized things such as baby strollers that were made for multiple kids.

The buzzing of Spencer's cell phone drew him out of his thoughts. It was from Derek. Not surprising, really. Just because the man hadn’t been able to be at the appointment didn’t mean that he didn’t want to know how it went. Spencer took a second to type out a response to catch Derek up on all the important parts of the appointment.

“Evert’ing okay?”

“Mm hm.” Spencer set his phone down on the table and picked his fork back up. “Derek was just messaging me to ask how my appointment went.”

Spencer didn’t notice as Remy froze a little. The Cajun watched him, cup halfway to his mouth. “Spencer…” Pausing, he opened and closed his mouth a few times before he found his next words. “Cher, tell me y’ didn’t tell him about de triplets via text.”

“Of course I did.” Spencer chewed his bite as he looked over at Remy curiously. Why wouldn’t he have? Swallowing down his food, he asked Remy just that. “Why wouldn’t I? He asked me how the appointment went. Was I supposed to lie?”

Groaning, Remy set his cup down and put one hand over his face. “Ah, cher.” He groaned out at the same time that Spencer's phone started to ring.

It was Derek’s name on the caller ID. Setting down his fork, Spencer picked up his phone. “Hello, Derek.”

“ _What_?!?” Derek’s voice shouted down the line.

He was so loud Spencer actually jumped a little, pulling the phone back from his ear. He furrowed his brow and pressed at the button on the side to turn the volume down a little. Wow, he had that loud apparently. Then he brought the phone back to his ear. “Derek?”

“ _I’m here_!” Derek said. “ _I…I’m here_!”

He sounded funny, though, and was coughing a little. It only had Spencer worrying even more. “Are you okay?”

“ _Am I…? Spencer_ …” another cough broke through and left Derek’s voice sounding so rough. “ _Tell me I read that wrong or that you mistyped or something. There is absolutely no way I read ‘triplets’_.”

Spencer looked across the table at Remy, who was still shaking his head at him. What was wrong with them both? “Are you sure you’re all right?” Spencer asked again. “You sound like you’re choking.”

“ _I was drinking coffee when I read your message_.” Derek said with a low wheeze. “ _Which, by the way, is now all over the map I was looking at, thank you very much_.”

“You’re welcome.” Spencer said automatically. Then he paused. “That was sarcastic, wasn’t it?”

He heard Derek let out a deep sigh. “ _Just answer the question, Spencer. Did you actually type that correctly or was it some sort of practical joke_?”

“It wasn’t a joke. The technician found three babies on the ultrasound. Well, technically, she found _two_ and I saw the third, but that doesn’t matter. The point is, there are three. If you want, you can ask Remy to verify. He was there.”

Remy’s head snapped up and his mouth dropped open at that, while in Spencer's ear Derek let out another rather loud “ _What_?” that was almost immediately followed by “ _Remy was there? Why on earth was Remy at your ultrasound appointment_?”

“Um, because you weren’t here and I didn’t want to go alone.” Spencer explained. Wasn’t it obvious?

This time it was Remy who let out a loud groan. It wasn’t as loud as the sound his head made when it hit the table, though. There was a groan from Derek at the same time.

Spencer listened to them both and watched Remy with a sense of confusion. “Is there a problem here?” He asked. “Are you upset, Derek? I thought you would be proud. Most men would consider it a sign of their virility to discover their partner was expecting triplets.”

“ _Spencer, I’m not upset about the news._ ” Derek said with a sigh. Spencer could just picture in his mind’s eye the way the man would reach up and rub a hand over his face as he always did when he was a bit upset or frustrated. He did it a lot when he was trying to explain something to Spencer that Spencer just wasn’t quite understanding. “ _I kind of wish you’d shared it with me when I got home instead of in text, but I’m not upset about it, baby boy. I just…you can’t just take a different guy with you to your OB appointments. That’s something that should be between you and me, not you and someone else._ ”

Wait a minute— _that’s_ what he was upset about here? Spencer's brows furrowed as confusion played across his face. “It wasn’t like he was there making decisions for our child, Derek. He was there to support me, which I greatly appreciated. If you have a problem with that, well, I’m sorry that you’re upset—but I’m not sorry I brought him.”

“Cher…” Remy murmured, trying to catch Spencer's attention.

“ _I can respect having someone there for support, Spencer, I really can. But taking him in to the ultrasound? I’m assuming he was in there if you’re saying he can verify what the technician saw. That’s not something that friends need to be a part of. That’s something for you and I, and for us to share with others afterwards._ ”

“You may be the other father to these children but this is my body, Derek, and if I choose to share it with someone else that is my business and my business alone. Do not try and dictate which parts of myself you find appropriate for me to share with my friends. You lost that right the minute I filed our divorce paperwork. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to finish my meal. We can talk again when you get back home.” Without giving Derek any time to say anything else, Spencer ended the phone call and set the phone down beside his plate. Then, he picked his fork back up and turned his attention back to his food.

It took him a minute to realize that Remy was still staring at him. He paused with his fork held halfway to his mouth and gave his friend a curious look. “Is something wrong?”

Remy stared at him just a second longer before he chuckled and shook his head. “ _Non. Non,_ cher. Not’ings wrong.” He hesitated and chuckled again. Whatever he was thinking about was awfully amusing. Spencer wondered what it was. Then he was distracted from those thoughts by Remy telling him “I almost f’got, I got a text from Logan earlier. He said he might’ve found a place f’ y’ near de school, if y’ wanna go check it out later.”

“Logan texts?” Spencer asked with surprise.

Amusement lit up Remy’s face. He picked up his mug and took a sip off his coffee. “Oh, _oui_. Jubilee got him goin’ on it. Ridiculous, aint it? Y’ should see him sitting on de porch puffin’ on one of dem cigars, tryin’ to text with dem big ol fingers of his.”

Oh that was definitely something that Spencer would have to see. He grinned just thinking about it.

Remy entertained him with more stories about how Jubilee had convinced Logan to get a cellphone in the first place, apparently with the help of both Kitty and Rogue, thoroughly distracting the young genius as they finished up their breakfast.

* * *

This place was perfect. That was all Spencer could think as he stood in the family room of the house that Logan had found for him. After his breakfast that morning with Remy, Spencer had taken the two of them back to the school and from there, they’d gone with Logan to go and view the place that he said he’d found. It was apparently something that a friend had pointed him towards. Which friend, he didn’t say, nor did he explain why he had a friend who pointed out real estate to him. Spencer really wasn’t surprised by that part of things. It was just like Logan to try and help find him a place. Not just because he wanted to help Spencer, or because he was a caretaker type person, but because he was also the type to want to make sure that the place Spencer and his new ‘pups’ were going to would be safe for him _and_ close enough to make Logan happy.

This definitely fit on all accounts. It was only a twenty minute drive to Xavier’s school and the neighborhood had looked safe and normal as they’d driven up. There was plenty of yard, both front and back, and though the property wasn’t fenced, Logan had told him as they’d driven up “It wouldn’t take much to get it fenced. I could get it done for ya before the little rugrats get here.”

The place was two stories, with the three—“It could be four, but one room is listed as a playroom. It’s connected to the master, so I thought you could use it for a nursery at first.”—bedrooms upstairs.

There was no front porch, Spencer noted as they pulled in and parked just outside the garage door. The front step was covered but it wasn’t a porch.

The front door opened to a decent sized entryway. On the left, immediately after entrance, was the coat closet. Directly ahead was the staircase, going forward and then turning right to head upstairs. Just after the coat closet, the entryway led into what was probably considered the formal living room. Right from the entryway was a door that led to the den/office. Spencer looked into the den and nodded a little to himself. There was plenty of room for bookshelves, a desk, some chairs and even a small couch. It’d work perfectly for his office.

Pulling back out of the room, he turned and headed to the living room. It was well lit from the windows at the front of the house and a few along the side. Towards the back there were sliding doors that led into what he found had to be the formal dining room.

From the formal dining room, Spencer moved into the back of the house. The next few rooms stretched out in an open floor plan, encompassing the whole back of the house. He went through the wood door that sectioned off the formal dining room and stepped out right into the kitchen.

The kitchen was wide and open with plenty of counter space and an island in the middle which held two sinks and the dishwasher on one side and a raised bar on the other with four barstools for people to sit on. There was even a breakfast nook. It was a good sized one with two benches, cushioned, on either side of a rectangular table. Enough space to sit four adults in the seats. It was set in an alcove there made just for it, with plenty of windows to give it lots of natural light. Spencer could easily see himself there, though the image of him with _three_ high chairs was enough to make him almost choke a little. There was plenty of space in here, though. Plenty for him and the necessary equipment for three children. On the other side of the breakfast nook was a sliding door that led to the back patio.

The kitchen bled right into the family room. Here would be where he could set up the more comfortable couches, a TV, toys for the kids.

Right after the hardwood floors of the kitchen switched to the carpet of the living room, there was a little hall that led back towards the front of the house, right up to the angled door of the den. In that hall were two doors. One for a half-bath and another that led to the laundry room, through which there was another door that led to the garage.

Spencer was in a bit of awe as he made his way up to look at the bedrooms. The top of the stairs put him in a hallway with four different doors. To the left was the door for the first bedroom and the one after that was the door to what Logan had been right to suggest as a nursery. On the right was the door to the other regular bedroom. Then, straight ahead, was the door to the Master. Spencer went in there first, looking over the large room.

“It’s got its own bathroom.” Logan told him, gesturing to a door in the corner of the room. “Double sink, whirlpool tub, shower stall, even a linen closet in there. An that second bedroom when we first came up, the one on the right? It has its own bathroom too, for the pup. But this door over here…” He walked over to another door, opening it up to reveal what could be the nursery. “I figure this’ll work as a pretty good nursery. That way you can have the little rugrat right up close.”

“Rugrats.” Spencer corrected absently. He didn’t even think about it; his attention was focused on the room in front of him, trying to picture what it’d look like with three cribs. There’d be room over there, in the corner by the window, to set up a rocking chair for those nighttime feedings.

He didn’t see Logan’s stunned look, nor hear Remy’s chuckle. “There’s more than one?” Logan asked, watching Spencer carefully as the genius moved through the room.

Spencer nodded his head. He brought his hand up, lightly pressing it over the lives inside. “Three, actually.” Turning, he used his free hand to gesture to the longest walls. “The cribs would go great here, don’t you think? They’d still have enough space for me to walk between them, too.”

“It’d be perfect, cher.” Remy told him. He was grinning broadly now, watching the poleaxed expression on Logan’s face. “Spencer, I t’ink y’ done broke Wolvie.” Reaching out, he patted Spencer's arm. “We really gotta have a talk sometime about how to deliver news like dis. It aint somet’ing y’ can just throw at a _homme_ , cher. It’s a bit of a shock.”

A shock? Why? Spencer looked curiously between Remy and Logan. “I don’t understand.” Why was it shocking for other people?

Remy’s expression softened and he patted Spencer's arm again. “ _Je sais, mon ami_.” Without saying anything more about it, he changed the subject entirely by asking “So, what do y’ t’ink of de place?”

For a moment longer Spencer just stared at him, trying to figure out what it was that he’d missed here. He looked at Longa, who still looked slightly stunned though recovering from it. Then he shook his head. Whatever it was he’d missed here, it obviously wasn’t too important or they would’ve taken more time to explain it to him. Spencer knew he didn’t always understand the things that people said or did. But he knew he could count on these two to take the time to explain things to him if it was necessary. Logan had explained plenty of things to Spencer over the years. Little things that the team had said or done, or that others had said, which Spencer didn’t understand. He knew he could bring those things to Logan or Remy and either one would help him understand.

Spencer shook his head to clear it and then looked around the nursery once more. “I like it. It’s a beautiful place, albeit a bit more than I was looking for. I can’t imagine, though, that it comes cheap.” He looked over to Logan now and hoped that the answer he got to his next question would be one he could handle. “How much are they asking for it?” This place was great. It really was! He could see himself here, with his children. This was the type of place that wouldn’t be just a house—it’d be a home. One that he could make with his family. Spencer was surprised by just how badly he wanted that. How badly he wanted _this_.

The look on Logan’s face could only be described as fond. There was something else there, something that Spencer didn’t quite know how to label, but it warmed him inside to see it. Then, to Spencer's complete surprise, the feral man pulled something from his pocket and tossed it Spencer's way.

Just barely did Spencer manage to get his hands up in enough time to catch it. When he saw what it was that he’d caught he looked back up to Logan with shock.

It was keys.

“Logan…” Spencer started.

He was cut off before he could get anymore out. “Consider it a gift, brat. Something for you and for that— _those_ —babies you’re carrying.”

Even Remy looked surprised by this. Spencer could barely manage to speak. “Logan, I can’t…I mean, you can’t…”

“Uh-uh.” Logan held up a hand to silence him. “Don’t go worrying yourself about it. I told you, I heard about this from a friend. It just so happened it was a friend who owed me a favor. This place is yours, kid, free and clear. It’ll take about a day to get the power on, but you can start moving in any time you want.”

He couldn’t believe it. His? This place was his? Spencer stared around him with a sense of awe. He’d been worrying so much about what he was going to do for a home for his children and here Logan had just handed one right to him. Spencer stunned them all completely by suddenly launching himself at the shorter man. Good reflexes had Logan thankfully catching him. Spencer gave him a tight, slightly awkward hug. Then, just as quickly as he’d launched at him, he yanked back and hurried away, one hand coming up to discreetly wipe at his face. There were so many things for him to look at now that he knew this place was his.

His. Spencer curled his hand tighter around the keys and tried not to start to cry. This place was his. He had a home.

A home without Derek.

No, he wouldn’t think about that. Firmly he pushed those thoughts back and focused on the good. He and his children had a house. Now, he needed to focus on making it a home. Someplace his kids would grow up feeling happy and safe and loved. He’d give them everything he’d ever wanted in a home. They deserved nothing less.

* * *

“Y’r lucky he bought dat, ol’ man.” Remy murmured lowly as he watched Spencer wander away. The kid was practically glowing. Turning towards Logan, the Cajun smirked at him. “He’s too trusting to realize y’r lyin’ y’r ass off. How much did dis place run y’?”

Logan smirked right back at him. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, Gumbo.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, y’ aint foolin’ me, Wolvie. C’mon, tell Remy, how much dis place cost y’, hm? How much y’ shell out so y’r pup can be safe?” His grin grew a little wider as Logan simply started to walk away from him. Trailing after him, Remy couldn’t resist continuing to tease. “Aw, c’mon, cher! It’s sweet! Y’r like, de honorary _grand-père_ , settin’ up his boy an de new ones in a nice, safe home.” He grinned at the growl he heard ahead of him. Sometimes there was nothing more fun than driving Logan insane. “It’s true, cher! Y’r like, _Pépé_ Logan. Or Papy Logan. Y’ like dat one? Papy…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the home that I modeled Spencer's home after, if I did a crappy job describing it or if you want more of a visual, here it is - http://www.homeplans.com/house-plans/hp/homepw03880.html


	8. Chapter 8

Now that Spencer had a new place to live, the next logical step was to get moved out of the hotel and into his new home. That also meant that it was time to get his stuff out of his and Derek’s house as well. That was the part that Spencer really wasn’t looking forward to. The part that he would’ve put off for as long as possible if there’d been any way to do it. Unfortunately, his brain was far too logical to allow him to indulge in something like that. It pointed out that he had his own place, he and Derek were officially separated even if the paperwork hadn’t been completely done yet, and he was starting a new job here soon at which point moving would become less easy to manage. It made logical sense to get himself moved out of his old house and into his new one now, while he wasn’t working and while his friends were able to help him.

Knowing the logic of it didn’t make it any easier to deal with. It didn’t help him feel better about it as teleported himself, Logan and Remy all to DC. The plan was to go over and pick up a U-Haul truck and a bunch of empty boxes from the local U-Haul place and bring it back over to the house so they could load up his stuff, drive it to the new place, unload, and then drop the truck off at the closest U-Haul center. Simple. He even messaged Derek about it to let him know what was going on and Derek had seemed fine with it. Granted, they’d been doing it all via text, but he’d been fine with Spencer getting his stuff on the condition that he didn’t actually try and lift anything. ‘ _You’re pregnant’_ Derek’s text had reminded him. _‘You don’t need to be lifting shit.’_

Spencer had rolled his eyes and sent off a reply to let Derek know he wasn’t going to be the one doing the heavy lifting.

Now, though, he sort of wished that he hadn’t come here at all. The U-Haul truck was outside, the stack of boxes was here in the living room, and Spencer wanted nothing more than to turn around and leave. Did he really need any of this stuff? Was there anything in here he couldn’t replace? It wasn’t like he was taking the bed or the couch or anything like that. Those things were staying here. What did it matter if he had to replace a few more things? He could live without some of his books or clothes and such. Derek could just mail them to him, couldn’t he? He looked around his living room and chewed on his bottom lip. One hand rubbed unconsciously at his stomach.

He’d forgotten all about his friends with him. It wasn’t until Logan’s hand closed over his shoulder that he was abruptly reminded of their presence.

Logan was looking at him with a wealth of sympathy on his face. He didn’t comment on whatever he saw on Spencer's face, though. Instead, he just gave his shoulder a light squeeze and said “Come on, pup. Let’s get started. Why don’t you take the kitchen?”

“I should, ah…” He gestured weakly back towards the bedroom.

Light fingers brushed over his other arm as Remy stepped around him, box in hand. “I got it, Merlin. I know enough t’know de difference between most of y’r stuff.”

That was probably true enough. He knew Derek and Spencer both and it wouldn’t be hard to tell the difference between their clothes and such. Spencer didn’t really keep anything special back in the bedroom, either. A few pictures, which Remy would easily be able to see were his, a few books, and a box or two in the closet. Otherwise, most of his personal stuff was in his desk, in his office. “There’s, um, there’s some stuff in the bedroom closet. A mahogany box and a silver lock case. Those are, they’re mine.”

Remy nodded his understanding. Then, with a last smile for Spencer, he went down the hall to the bedroom.

“We taking any furniture?” Logan asked, bringing Spencer's focus back to him.

Any furniture? Most of the furniture here had already been Derek’s when they moved in, or they were things the two had purchased together. Very few pieces were his. However, “My office.” He moved over towards the familiar door in the hallway and pushed it open. Logan followed in behind him, looking around the room as Spencer brought him inside. “All of this in here is mine. The desk, the bookcases, all of it. Derek had me, he had me stock it when I first moved in.” He’d told Spencer that he wanted him to create a space of his own in here. Somewhere that Spencer would be able to go and shut himself inside and get the alone time that Derek knew he craved sometimes. Where he could be comfortable and feel safe and really at home, even on those days where he sort of wanted to hide out from human contact. The fact that Derek had realized he’d need that had been a big thing for Spencer. Very few people had ever understood Spencer's need to sometimes just be alone away from the world. To just pull back and hide away.

The traitorous tears that never seemed far away were burning the backs of Spencer's eyes. He felt one escape, sliding down his cheek, and he quickly wiped it away in the hopes that Logan hadn’t noticed. He cleared his throat and tried to straighten up. This isn’t what he was here for. “We should get this room packed up first so the furniture can go in. I don’t think I have any other furniture in the house that’ll go with us.”

“All right. Then let’s get to work.”

* * *

They’d gotten most of the bookshelves put away when Spencer heard the sound of not just one, but multiple cars pulling up outside. He furrowed his brow as he slowly pulled a book off the shelf. Who was here? It only took a few steps to the window and then one look outside for him to answer that question. Everything in Spencer froze over as he saw the cars that were now sitting outside.

Derek was home.

Not just Derek. The team was here with him. Spencer watched as they all climbed out of their cars and started to make their way up towards the front door. All of them were here. Aaron, Dave, Emily, JJ, even Penelope. _All of them_. What on earth were they all doing here? They had to know that Spencer was here! He’d let Derek know deliberately. He’d sort of hoped that Derek would take the hint and stay away while he was here. Granted, the two of them were trying to get along, and their last meeting together had gone pretty well. That didn’t mean that he was really ready to see him again. Especially not while packing up part of their house.

A low growl behind him told him that Logan had joined him at the window. “Looks like someone got done with their case early.”

“Why are they all _here_?” Spencer breathed out.

His panic must’ve shown through in his voice. Logan’s hand settled against his back and rubbed lightly, soothingly. “They’re your friends, kid.” He murmured. “They probably want to help, and to see you. They aint had much of a chance to see you yet since all this went down.” Since his marriage had broken and he’d found out he was pregnant.

Spencer licked his lips and tried to gather together his courage as he listened to the front door open. Hiding out in here wasn’t going to do him any good. He couldn’t hide away from this. Best to just get it over with. And he had to admit, seeing his friends would be good, even if he didn’t really want to see Derek right now. The rest of them, though? He did want to see them. After so long spent seeing them all every single day it felt so strange to not see them at all. He missed them. He missed Emily’s humor, JJ’s mothering, Aaron’s seriousness, Dave’s good humor and protectiveness, even Penelope’s goofy nicknames.

“Why don’t you go ahead and go let Rem know who is here so he doesn’t come out and start acting protective?” Spencer turned away from the window and shared a small smile with Logan. “Let him know I’m fine. I’ll, ah, handle my friends myself.”

“No problem, kid. I’ll let him know and then I’ll get back in here. You give a shout if you need us.”

The fact that Logan wasn’t being pushy and was just trusting him to be able to handle his own business meant a lot to Spencer. He carried that confidence with him as he left the office and headed out to the living room. He walked in there just in time for the last of his friends to come through the door.

Penelope noticed him first and the squeal she let out had everyone else turning their way. For his part, Spencer found that he could only smile as the bubbly woman rushed towards him. She flung her arms around him for a tight hug that had him chuckling. “Oh, Reid, look at you!” Pulling back, she cupped his face in her hands briefly and then stepped back, looking him over. “You look so good!”

“She’s right.” JJ said. She moved up next and her hug was gentler, though her smile was no less wide. “You look really good, Spence. A lot better than the last time I saw you. The nausea starting to go away? Are you resting well?”

Spencer smiled as they drew back from their hug. “I’m resting. And sleeping. And eating.”

“Good. You’re eating for four.” Emily said. She took the next hug, her touch gentle yet firm.

Well that answered that. It looked like Derek had handled telling them about how many they were having. Spencer wasn’t bothered by that; he was a bit grateful. Apparently he wasn’t that good at passing along news like this. At least, according to Remy.

Aaron and Dave both hugged Spencer as well and then the young genius was left standing there staring at Derek, the only person left in the room. There was a brief, awkward moment where Derek stepped forward, one arm twitching like it was going to raise, like he was going to hug Spencer, and Spencer took a quick step back. He turned away, trying to ignore the flash of hurt that passed over Derek’s face, and focused on his friends once more. “So, um, what’re you guys doing here? I didn’t expect to see any of you.” He tried for easy going but even he could hear the slight tightness in his voice.

None of them called him on it. They all just acted like this was something normal. “We came to lend a hand.” Emily told him.

“Yeah. We figured we could help pack or load things.” JJ said. Unspoken was the ‘ _so you don’t have to’_ at the end of it.

He wasn’t going to turn down any form of help. Really, he just wanted to get this done and get out of here. Hanging around in what had once been his home all day wasn’t his idea of a good time. He wanted to get his stuff out of here and get away from the memories that lurked around every corner. With that in mind, he gestured towards the flat stack of boxes on the floor. “Help yourself to a box. I was just packing up my office with Logan, and Rem’s back starting in the bedroom. Just, um, I guess just start…wherever?”

JJ moved up to his side and slipped her arm through his. “I’ll come help you with the office and you can tell me all about you and those babies. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be carrying _three_. You don’t look anything like it!”

With JJ on his arm, and both Emily and Penelope in tow, the group made their way to Spencer's office. In no time he found himself seated in the chair at his desk and tasked with packing up the stuff in the drawers, because “You should rest. We’ll get the books, Reid.” Emily had said.

There, with his friends, Spencer let himself relax just a little, letting them distract him from what they were all doing.

Soon enough Spencer found himself laughing as JJ regaled them with a tale of Henry’s latest escapades. Caught up in the story, and in the happiness of being able to just be with his friends, Spencer forgot entirely about the rest of the people in the house. If he’d thought about it, he might’ve been a little more worried.

* * *

Down in Derek and Spencer's bedroom, Remy was buried half in the closet as he gathered up all the items hanging in there that belonged to Spencer. He was very deliberately staying back here and out of the way since Logan had let him know of the team’s arrival. Or, more importantly, of Derek’s arrival. Though the two had been friends for a long time, Remy knew himself well enough to know that seeing Derek right now wouldn’t be that great of an idea. The urge to hit him was still far too strong. It wouldn’t be the first time that Remy had hit his friend during their long friendship. They’d hit each other plenty of times. That tended to happen when two people with tempers were friends. He and Derek had fought before, they’d hit one another, they’d had full on knock-down drag-out fights, and they’d always managed to make up afterwards.

They’d make up this time, too. Eventually. But Remy wasn’t quite at the forgive-and-let-live stage of things yet. He wasn’t just angry with Derek. He was, disappointed.

He’d thought for sure that Spencer and Derek had a hell of a marriage together. Two great, wonderful, amazing guys. They’d always seemed so happy to him. Spencer had been good for Derek, too. Right from the get-go Remy had been able to see just how much the shy young genius had loved his partner. How completely devoted to him that he was. Spencer didn’t seem to give his affection easily but when he did, he gave it with everything he had.

Remy had never thought he’d see the day that Derek of all people would betray that kind of love and trust.

When he’d found out what had happened, he’d been stunned. It hadn’t been until he’d finally gotten a hold of Spencer and gotten him out to the house that his shock had worn away enough for his anger to settle in. Seeing Spencer broken like that, the usually calm and composed man actually _sobbing_ , and ripped at Remy like nothing else ever had. He’d hated every single tear that fell from those big brown eyes. Each one had only fueled the anger in Remy’s gut until it was this big, hard knot that sat there each and every time he thought of Derek.

How could the man do it? How could he actually _cheat_ on _Spencer_? On anyone, really, but especially Spencer! That man was one of the kindest, most big-hearted people that Remy had ever known. Anyone would be lucky to have a partner like him in their life. And Derek had thrown it all away. He’d screwed up the best damn thing he’d ever had.

The sound of someone coming into the bedroom cut into Remy’s inner pissed off monologue. He pulled out of the closet to see who it was. At the sight of the man standing just inside the doorway, Remy froze for one brief second. Then he straightened up and, with one cool glare, turned his back on the man.

He heard Derek let out a sigh behind him. He ignored that, too. Without once looking Derek’s way, Remy gathered up the section of clothes that he’d just pulled off the hangers and he carried them over to the bed. There he laid them down before starting to quickly and easily fold them and put them inside the box. He kept his back towards him the whole time. Hopefully Derek would get the hint and just get the hell out of here, or at least keep his mouth shut.

Yeah, he should’ve known better than to hope for that.

“You just going to ignore me, Rem?”

Remy’s hands curled briefly in the shirt he was folding. He forced himself to relax his grip and smooth out the wrinkles before folding the shirt and adding it to the box. “It’s better dan what I really wanna do, Derek. I suggest y’ take it and deal with it.”

“I don’t wanna fight with you, Rem.” Derek said lowly. It sounded like he came a few steps closer and Remy shot a quick glare over his shoulder, momentarily freezing the man in place. Then he could actually see it as his friend steeled himself and took another step in. “I know I screwed up, Rem, but what happened here has nothing to do with our friendship. I don’t wanna fight with you over it.”

Remy arched one eyebrow at him. “Y’r one of m’ closest _amis_ , Derek, and y’ know I love y’— _mais_ , right now, I’m pissed as hell at y’, an it’s gonna take a bit fo’ me to get past dat. Y’ hurt dat sweet boy out dere. Y’ don’t get to just walk away from dat without consequences.”

“I messed up, I know that.” Derek said.

He messed up? _That’s_ what he had to say about this? Just ‘I messed up’. Remy had to fight back a growl. “Y’ cheated on him, Derek! How de hell could y’ do dat? How could y’ sleep with someone else an break y’r marriage vows dat way?”

Defensive, Derek scowled at him. “That’s rich, coming from you. How many married men or women have you slept with, LeBeau?”

Temper snapped hot and bright through Remy and he reacted before he could fully think his actions through. He didn’t even think about it before his fist snapped out. He didn’t regret it, thought. He watched as Derek flew back into the dresser from the force of his blow and all he felt was satisfaction. “Don’t y’ dare try an make dis about me.” He snapped at the man. “Dat aint de same t’ing and y’ fuckin’ know it, Derek Morgan. I aint never been de one married. I aint been de one breaking vows made b’fore God. If dey broke deir vows, it aint on me. So don’t y’ go lashing out at Remy just cause y’ feel guilty.” Furious, and far too close to throwing another punch, Remy tossed the last of the clothes into the box unfolded and then gathered it up to carry out of the room, leaving Derek leaning against the dresser holding his face.

* * *

It only took two hours to box up his life here. Spencer found that just slightly depressing. Two hours and every trace of him in this house had been boxed up and loaded into the truck. Goodbyes had been exchanged with each one of his friends, along with promises to call and visit and to come get them for visits as well. It left Spencer battling back the tears that still seemed to come far too easily to him nowadays.

He was also, to his displeasure, far more exhausted than he’d expected to be. His friends—family, really—had done most of the work for him. Yet still, as he pulled on his coat and gathered up his car keys for the very last time, he was so tired he couldn’t even feel the grief that had been there earlier. All he wanted to do was just curl up somewhere and catch a nap. Since when had two hours of work started to make him so tired? _Since I became pregnant,_ he reminded himself. Being tired was becoming a bit more common lately, something that he was assured was totally normal considering all the adjustments his body was making and the fact that he was supporting _three_ little lives. However, knowing the facts and experiencing them were two different things.

Spencer was startled out of his thoughts when someone neatly nipped his keys out of his hand. He blinked heavy eyes and found Remy standing there in front of him with his keys in hand. Spencer didn’t even bother to form a token protest. The last thing he needed to do was drive right now. Remy just grinned at him and tossed the keys up before catching them. “I’ll go get de car started.”

With him slipping out to the car, and Logan already out in the U-Haul truck, that left Spencer and Derek standing alone in the front entryway.

For a moment the two men just looked at one another. No matter the paperwork that would come later, or what had happened before, they both knew this was the moment that their marriage was truly over. This was the moment that they were really separating. Spencer's stuff was all loaded up, ready to be taken to his new home. A home that wouldn’t have Derek in it.

Once before they’d stood here together, a moving truck outside. Then, they’d been moving in, ready to start a life together. Now, Spencer was leaving, and though their lives would never truly be separate thanks to the children inside of Spencer, never again would it be what it had been. The both of them knew that.

Derek was the first one to break the silence. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” Spencer said softly.

There were so many other things that could be said. What was the point, though? They’d all been said before.

Looking into the face of the man he’d promised to love and honor, in sickness and in health, till death did they part, Spencer felt a piece of his heart break away that he knew he would never get back. A part of him would always belong here, with Derek, no matter what happened. Spencer lifted one hand and brushed his fingers lightly over Derek’s cheek, up over the bruising and swelling on his eye that the man had worn without saying a word of explanation. Not that any was needed. As soon as a furious Remy had stormed out of that room, Spencer had known.

Derek’s hand settled on Spencer's hip and it felt so natural to just lean in that little bit of distance between them and press a soft kiss against his lips. They’d shared thousands of kisses in their time together. A first kiss, hesitant kisses, passionate kisses, loving kisses, kisses of comfort or of reassurance, or those life-affirming kisses after one of them had almost been lost on the job. But Spencer thought that this was the most bittersweet kiss of all. It was a kiss of closure; a kiss goodbye.

They broke apart and stared at one another for a moment with all those years of love sitting right there between them. Then, without a word, Spencer let his hand drop from Derek’s face and he took a step back. He stayed quiet as he looked the man over one last time before he turned around and walked away, leaving just a small part of himself behind.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m doing a slight retcon on my own story here, folks. I had Spencer labeled as teaching Advanced Chem as one of his classes and it was very nicely pointed out to me (Merci! I can’t believe I didn’t think about it!) that a pregnant person really shouldn’t be teaching chem, with all those chemicals. I’m sure there were ways I could’ve worked around it. Instead, I decided to just change it to an advanced mathematics class. Something Spencer's still very good at and which won’t require him to do much but sit there and teach math :P
> 
> Also, the next few chapters are going to be split into pregnancy months, just to help me move along through the pregnancy. A month a chapter :) Enjoy!

**Third Month**

**End of First Trimester**

* * *

Spencer wasn’t ashamed to admit that he was nervous about his first day of teaching. He wasn’t exactly the type of person to really get up in front of people and talk. Not without his team by his side, that is. What on earth had he been thinking accepting this job? He didn’t do well talking to people and most especially not kids! Granted, these were smart kids. But still! What had he been thinking? He was going to get out there and make a complete and total ass of himself. He just _knew it_.

A week and a half had gone by since Spencer had moved into his new home. It felt like he’d barely gotten a moment’s rest in all that time. First had been packing up, then had been unpacking, then came the shopping for furniture that he needed for his new place that he hadn’t brought with him—primarily, a bed. Then, grocery shopping to make sure that he had food in the house.

Getting the house together was a time consuming thing in some ways and extremely frustrating in others. Neither Logan nor Remy let him do a whole lot more than pick out what was needed and direct them on where to put it. When it came time to bring in the bed they picked out, Spencer was basically told to have a seat while the two men tried to figure out how on earth they were going to get everything up the stairs. Spencer spent a good twenty minutes watching them try, the two getting steadily more pissed off and growly, before he gave a wave of his hand and _sent_ the bed stuff up to the master bedroom.

The looks on their faces had been worth listening to all that growling.

After that, they let him help out a little more, at least magically.

While doing all that, he’d also had to take the lesson plans that Charles had given him for his classes and change them around enough to suit him while still fitting the criteria, and he had to prepare himself to start teaching those classes. There had also been an appointment with Hank to check on the babies and to get him settled in with the man, a sort of ‘get to know each other’ appointment where they got to talk, discusses their own concerns and cares and just get to know one another a little better. Spencer's pregnancy was progressing well, especially now that the nausea was mostly gone.

Because of the differences in male to female pregnancy and the extra weeks males had at the start, Spencer was _technically_ fourteen weeks, but at this stage doctors started to count it in terms of a female pregnancy and so, he was labeled at twelve, the end of his first trimester.

In just the short amount of time since his last appointment, two weeks ago, he’d already started to put on weight. There really wasn’t any chance for him to hide his pregnancy anymore. The ‘little swell’ that had been there before was definitely bigger. He’d already had to purchase himself new pants and he knew he was going to have to go and get quite a few more. JJ had grinned when he’d told her that on the phone the other night and then she’d proceeded to tell him that maternity pants were his friend and he should find himself a store with good ones. She’d also suggested that he shop at a certain maternity website she loved, but then she’d corrected herself on it. “I’ll tell Garcia to get you a few things.” She’d said instead, chuckling. “She just might need you to measure yourself for her at some point. But trust me, this place? They’re the best. I loved their stuff when I was pregnant.”

There were still some times that Spencer felt sort of like this was all a dream, and other times when he was afraid it was a nightmare. Those negative feelings usually came late at night when he was lying alone in his new bed. That was the time when he began to really worry about what he was going to do or how he was going to make it through this. Sure, Derek would be there to help when he could, but that wasn’t the same as having a partner living with him to help out.

He was doing it, though. His fears may creep up on him at night but each day he got up and pushed them all back and just kept going. He went about his day and did everything he had to and he kept his head up.

So it was kind of silly that the thought of teaching class today had him hiding out in his new office.

He could face down this pregnancy, the fear of carrying and raising triplets essentially as a single father—but the thought of teaching a group of smart children had him hiding out in his office. It was no wonder Logan had laughed at him before heading off towards his own morning class.

Advanced Mathematics was Spencer’s first class of the day, his morning class, and then he’d have a whole period afterwards in which to work on papers before lunch. The school had four period days and Charles had set his classes so that his Advanced Mathematics was first period—and it wasn’t too full, thankfully—with second period as his time to grade papers and such. Third period was his ‘office hours’, another time he could work on paperwork but also the advertised time that any of his students could come and speak with him, kind of like it was done in college. Then, fourth period was his World Lit class.

It was a small schedule, light and easy for him. Neither class required him to be up and moving around, which was a plus because there was a good chance he’d get restricted on any physical activity later on in his pregnancy, potentially even put on bedrest. Not that bedrest would stop him. He could easily teleport himself from bed to classroom and back again as needed.

As the bell rang for the first period of the day, giving the five minute warning to get to class, Spencer gathered up his courage and pushed up from his desk. It was time to get out there. He laid a hand over his stomach in what had quickly become a sort of comforting gesture. Then he drew in a deep breath, blowing it back out carefully, before squaring his shoulders and heading out of his office and into his classroom.

He went to the chair at the front of the classroom to wait for the students to arrive. Most of these classrooms were set up with rows of either desks and chairs, or just chairs, and a large chair or a large desk at the head of the room. Spencer's room _had_ had a desk at the front of it originally. However, Spencer had gotten Logan to take it out for him. He didn’t need it. The big chair that Logan brought in instead worked much better for him, and the little table he put beside it was perfect. He didn’t need a desk in his office and one out here. Especially when he reached a point that sitting behind a desk might not be all that easy.

Spencer sat down in his chair and watched as his classroom filled with students. The class, as promised, wasn’t a large one. Not many wanted to take Advanced Mathematics. By the time the final bell sounded, he had a room of only ten students, which was fine by him. He could handle that amount.

As he looked at the students in front of him, Spencer tried very hard to shove down his nerves and the worries that he was going to screw this up. This wasn’t the first time he’d ever spoken in front of a group. Sure, it was a group of kids, but he was talking to them about math. If there was anything in the world that Spencer was comfortable with, it was numbers. He could do this. He could do this!

“Okay.” Spencer said, straightening himself up a little in his seat. Because he was naturally slender, the chair had a bit of extra space for him and it was easy, and extremely comfortable, to curl his legs up with him until he was sitting cross-legged. He looked around at his students, all of whom were watching him intently, and drew in another steadying breath. Time to suck it up.

“My name’s Dr. Spencer Reid, and for those of you that don’t know, I’m new here. This is my first time teaching here at Xavier’s. Or, anywhere, really.” He smiled at them and got a few smiles back in return. “I’m, um, I’m not entirely sure how things usually go in your classes, so bear with me as I get comfortable here. Why don’t we start things off my introducing ourselves?”

* * *

Well...that hadn’t been anywhere near as bad as Spencer had worried it would be.

He sat in his office during second period and just sort of marveled to himself at exactly how easy a class that had been. Sure, it was the only the first day, and most of the class had been spent with them getting to know one another and figuring out just what they all knew, but still… he’d expected things to be so much worse. He’d worried almost nonstop that he’d end up giving one of the rambles that he was so known for, or that he’d end up talking about math that was a little _too_ advanced, or that he’d get up there and stammer and stutter and countless other things. The reality had proved quite different.

These kids were all bright students who were pretty advanced for their ages. They were all teenagers, really, not _kids_ so to speak, and so they’d already done all the basic high school math. This was the group of kids who were already at a college level for math – and that was easily a level he could converse on.

If the following days were anything like this one, he’d have a much easier time with his math class than he’d worried about.

Hopefully his World Lit class would go as well.

He was still sitting at his desk, going over his plans for the afternoon, when a text buzzed his phone. He looked up from the papers in front of him and pulled his phone over, pressing the few buttons needed to bring the message up. When he saw it, his expression turned curious.

_Remy: Come to the hallway_

Spencer didn’t even stop to think about it. He was far too curious to ignore a text like that. Setting down his papers, he pushed up from the desk and made his way out through the classroom and out to the hall. What he saw when he got out there had him standing frozen in his doorway. Someone had used yarn to create what looked like one of those laser grids in movies, stretching from one end of the long hall to the other. The red yarn was stretched here and there all over the place, making lines from one wall to the next in an intricate grid that would take quite a bit of skill to be able to pass through. Remy stood at the far end, down by the kitchens, and he was just tying off a bit of yarn against a wall light.

There was only one thing Spencer could think of to say. “Remy LeBeau, what on earth are you doing?”

“Makin an obstacle course!” Remy called back to him, with a tone that clearly said ‘duh, what does it look like I’m doing?’

Spencer stared for a moment at the scene in front of him and tried to think of some sort of response to that. None were coming to mind. This was ridiculous, insane, and very much something that Remy would do. He shook his head again and looked down the hall towards his friend. “Dare I ask _why_ you’re making an obstacle course?”

Even from a distance he could see the cheeky grin Remy flashed his way. “Cause it’s fun?” He offered with a shrug.

There was no chance for Spencer to think of any kind of response to that. Even as he was opening his mouth to try and formulate some kind of replay for his insane friend, another door opened and Spencer's words got cut off on a burst of startled laughter when Warren Worthington walked out—and right into a few lines of yarn. It must’ve been some strong yarn because the man didn’t break them, not even as he swore and jerked back from them. A second later the hall echoed with a very annoyed yell of “Gambit!”

It was really hard not to outright laugh as Warren glared down the hall at a clearly unrepentant Remy. “ _Oui, mon ami_? What can Gambit do fo’ y’?”

“What in the hell is this?” Warren demanded.

Remy let out a gusty sigh. “Are y’all just blind or somet’ing? It’s an obstacle course! De kids are gonna get bored at lunch with de rain outside keepin’ em from running deir energy out, an dey’re too young fo’ de Danger Room, so Remy thought he’d give em somet’ing to do. An obstacle course seemed like de best option.”

“One that you had to set up in the middle of the hallway?” Leaning forward, Warren looked both directions down the hall. “Let me out of this. I was on my way to the kitchen, and the students will be coming out soon.”

“If dey want lunch, dey’re gonna have to earn it.” Remy quipped. His grin grew. “An so are y’.”

More doors were opening as the two went back and forth. Some kids had gathered, though they were kept back a bit, but a few of the teachers were sticking their heads out. It was absolutely no surprise to Spencer when he saw Kurt lean out from one room and start to laugh before immediately launching himself at the course in front of him. Remy had strung the red string up in many different patterns so that it was this giant laser-like grid that you had to duck and roll and twist and stretch your way through. Kurt had absolutely no issue with making his way through to the end. To the amusement of everyone watching, he jumped the last bit, landing in a perfect roll and popping right up to his feet. He high fived Remy and grinned as he made his way past him to the kitchen.

A few students darted out and Spencer had to admit that Remy had done a hell of a job thinking up something fun for these kids. In groups of twos and threes they made their way out of their rooms and the sound of their laughter filled the hallway as they all made their way through the course. Some went pretty fast, some moved a little slow, but not a one of them complained about it. Remy waited at the end and called out encouragement to each one of them, high-fiving them all as they came out by him.

None of the kids walked away when they finished. They didn’t head to the dining hall as they usually would for lunch. Each one stopped to watch the rest come through.

Even the teachers were all watching now. Spencer saw Ororo and Jean in one door, the two leaning against one another as they watched, both of them smiling, and Betsy was by another door.

When Jubilee came out, the kids all cheered for her, laughing and clapping as she made her way over and under all the strings with a laugh and her own kind of flair.

The next person to step out was Kitty. The laughter only grew as the woman just grinned and phased through the entire thing. Even Remy laughed at her, calling out a term in French that Spencer knew meant ‘smart-ass’.

“What on earth is going on here?”

Every head turned to look as Scott stepped into the hall on the farthest end of the course. Though he was glaring at them all, the look on his face was one that Spencer had come to realize meant that he was secretly a bit more amused than he was going to admit to. Often Spencer noticed that Scott put on a stern face even if he was just as amused by things as they were. It was like he felt he couldn’t join in their games all the time. Like he always had to be the leader and never just their friend. It made Spencer a little sad for him. Especially since he’d learned over the years just what kind of friend Scott could be. They’d never had the barrier of being on a team together to stand between them, so he’d never had to worry about the man feeling like he had to be a leader around him.

“Gambit.” Scott said, his voice ringing clearly down the halls. “Is there a reason the hallway looks like Martha Steward tried to design our security?”

Smothering a chuckle, Spencer leaned against his door to get a better view of the two. He watched Remy’s grin grow. The Cajun spread his hands and didn’t even bother trying to look contrite about this. “It’s a wonderful training exercise, Scotty. Y’r always on us t’ train an practice an find new ways to help de kids learn, aint y’? Remy was just makin’ it fun.”

“Don’t you think you could’ve done this on a hallway that wasn’t being used?”

“Where’s de challenge in dat?” Remy demanded. “Dis way, if dey want deir food, dey gotta earn it. People always work better wit’ de right motivation, aint dat right, Fearless?” All of a sudden his grin grew a bit more devious. “Why don’t y’ go on an show em how it’s done? I’m sure dey’d love to see dat.”

Oh, that little brat. Spencer grinned and looked down at the team leader and watched as Scott visibly sighed. The man knew he didn’t stand a chance in getting out of this now. Remy had very clearly called that out right in front of everyone. The kids started cheering and calling out to him and more than a few of the adults were adding their own cheers in as well.

Spencer stayed in his spot and watched with a steadily growing grin as Scott started to check himself over and make sure that everything was tucked in and nothing was hanging free. Then, with the children and some of the staff calling out to him and cheering him on, he stepped in and started to work his way through the obstacle course.

He wasn’t as fast as, say, Kurt had been, but there were few that could do the sort of gymnastics that Kurt or Remy could do. From what Spencer had seen and heard so far, those two were the most flexible of the group, though Kitty was apparently quickly catching up on that. But Scott, though a bit slower, was still good at what he did. He would’ve made it through perfectly if it weren’t for Remy suddenly deciding to up and change the game.

Scott was about halfway through when Remy suddenly laid his hands down on the yarn in front of him. “Back up!” he called out to everyone. Then, much to everyone’s surprise, the Cajun pulled out a handful of cards and started to charge them. Their leader saw what he was doing and froze in a crouch by the group of string he was at. “Remy LeBeau, what in the _hell_ are you doing?”

“’Y’ don’t learn unless y’r challenged’.” Remy called out. The way he said the words, the slight lessening on his accent, told Spencer that the words he said weren’t his own but were _recited_ , like something he’d heard many times before. Judging by the way he was grinning at Scott, Spencer would’ve laid down money that they were words Scott had given to the teams during training sessions. Remy was just throwing them back in his face now. The Cajun’s grin grew wider. “Watch out, Scotty!” With only that warning, he threw the first card with unerring accuracy, straight through the strings and right towards Scott.

Spencer ducked back in his classroom just to be safe. He heard the explosion, followed quickly by two more.

When he looked back out, what he saw had him struggling to hold back a laugh. Scott was lying there in the middle of the hallway, the yarn all around him either yanked down or blown apart. There was what looked like a singe mark on one pant leg and he was lying there in a way that suggested he’d leapt away from Remy’s cards. Students and staff alike were standing around, all of them staring, and most of them trying to smother laughter.

Spencer closed his eyes for a moment to try and regain his composure. _Don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh._ He tried, really he did. But when he opened his eyes and looked up at where Scott, still wrapped up in yarn, was shoving to his feet to take chase after a cackling Remy, Spencer couldn’t help it—He wrapped his arms around his stomach and laughed until he cried.

If this was the way things went around here, he was going to like working here! It was nice to be surrounded by fun and laughter instead of dead and mutilated bodies.

Off in the distance, a loud ‘yelp’ suggested that Scott had caught up to his prey, and Spencer laughed all the harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate all the comments, guys! They're great. I love hearing what you have to say even if I don't always respond. Merci for all your patience and support :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Month Four**

**Start of Second Trimester**

* * *

“How on earth did I let you guys convince me to buy so much?” Spencer asked. He was standing at the back of his new van, part of the reason for going out on the town today, trying to fit yet _another_ bag in here with the multitude that had already been put in there. Beside him, Emily grinned broadly while both JJ and Penelope laughed behind them. “Cause you’re a pushover.” Emily teased him, leaning in enough to bump their shoulders together.

“You really should’ve known better when you agreed to let us take you shopping.” Penelope chimed in. She handed up _another_ bag that somehow, Emily managed to actually get inside the car.

Spencer rolled his eyes as he closed the door on the back of the van. He couldn’t even deny her words. Really, he should’ve known better. He should’ve realized that letting them taking him out shopping would end like this. But when he’d decided to go and look at a couple vans at a dealership near where he lived, he hadn’t wanted to go by himself but he also hadn’t wanted to take Derek, Remy or Logan with him. Those three, with the best of intentions, had a tendency to take charge in those kinds of situations. Something about the alpha male in them just sort of took over when they walked on a car lot. Spencer had learned that about Derek the first time the man had tried to help him replace his old car, back when they were still just friends, and he’d learned the same thing about Remy and Logan both when he’d just mentioned once about wanting to look at other cars.

So, when he’d decided to go look this time, wanting something that would better be able to hold him and three infant car seats, plus anything else he’d need to haul around, he’d decided to kill two birds with one stone and get some friendly help while also visiting a little with people that he missed. One phone call got the ball rolling on that and an hour later he’d been teleporting to Emily’s to pick the girls up and bring them back with him. From there, they’d all set out together to the car lot. Spencer was glad he’d brought them, too. They weren’t pushy, didn’t try to act like Spencer didn’t know what he was talking about when he looked under the hood, and they all three had great suggestions about the size of the interior as well as what sort of things to look for in a family car. He walked away with a Honda Odyssey, which had plenty of space both for him, his things, and the car seats. He was pleased with it, and all three girls gave their stamp of approval, so he figured he did well.

When they’d suggested they hit up just a few shops while they were out, take advantage and test out the new wheels, Spencer had been dumb enough to agree.

That was how he’d ended up here, outside of Parenthood Maternity, the back of his van packed full of bags.

So far he hadn’t done a ton of shopping for the pregnancy or the children. He’d been busy making sure he had everything necessary for the house. With the hefty severance package he’d gotten from the Bureau, as well as the nice income he made working at Xavier’s, _plus_ what money Spencer had already had in the bank, he definitely wasn’t hurting. He was cautious about what he spent, making sure to shop for deals, because he’d been raised to be that way. But though this would put a dent in his finances, stocking up wasn’t going to run him broke.

Besides which, he hadn’t even paid for half the things inside the van right now. The three bouncers in there were from the girls, one from each, and there were tons of baby clothes they hadn’t been able to resist buying. Plus, diapers and bottles, at JJ’s insistence. “You can never have too many of those, Reid.” She’d assured him.

There were lots of neat things for twins, Spencer found, but not many for triplets. Penelope had tried to get him to purchase a few twin things but he didn’t really want to do that. That’d be kind of like sticking two together and leaving one left out. It felt, wrong.

There were plenty of things in here now for him as well. The girls had enjoyed dressing him as well as finding him clothes for the future. All he’d wanted was a pair of pants or two to accommodate his steadily growing stomach. That had ended with them here at Parenthood Maternity. Some of the clothes the girls had pushed on him weren’t even for now. They’d shopped for the future, getting him things that he might need later, which was probably smart, because Spencer swore his stomach was growing rapidly with each passing week. It helped that his appetite had come back with a vengeance. Hank was quite pleased with his weight gain now. He’d been fifteen weeks at his appointment just a few days ago—he was just shy of sixteen weeks now—and his stomach was measuring more like twenty weeks, which was normal for a multiple pregnancy. They usually measured a few weeks ahead of a singleton pregnancy.

Sadly, with the weight gain came the nagging ache in his hips that he had a feeling wasn’t going to go away for quite a while. He was really feeling it right at the moment after this little trip. They group had shopped their hearts out. Now, Spencer was more than ready to go back home. This much shopping was more than he’d done physically lately. Hank didn’t have him on bedrest, thank God!, but he did have him on limited activity.

“You want me to drive?” JJ offered. She knew just how little Spencer liked driving to begin with. He disliked it even more so while tired. Over the years at the BAU, he’d always been quite content to let the others drive them places, and he’d gotten in the habit of being a passenger. Spencer smiled at her offer and had no qualms holding out his keys. “That’d be great, thanks.”

“No problem, Spence.”

The group piled into the car, Spencer settling down into the passenger’s seat while Emily and Penelope took the row behind them. The back row was full of bags just as the way back was.

“So tell us, Reid,” Emily said as JJ started the van. “Tell us about your new job. How’s that going? Do you like being a teacher?”

“More than I thought I would.” Spencer said. He adjusted the strap better underneath his stomach and turned a little so he could look towards the backseat. “It helps, I think, that both classes I teach are topics I’m familiar with, and my Advance Mathematics class is only ten students.”

“What else do you teach?” Penelope asked.

“World Lit.”

“At least it’s work you don’t really have to be on your feet for.” JJ chimed in. She snuck a look over at him and smiled. “Being on your feet all the time isn’t fun, trust me. Though it’s good practice for later. I don’t even want to think about how far it’d measure out to if you added up all the pacing I did with Henry those first few months he was home. Colic is _not_ fun.”

Penelope reached up through the seats to lightly smack JJ’s arm. “Don’t give him scary stories!” she scolded. “We’re supposed to be being supportive! I’m sure your brain probably scares you enough as is.” She added the last part on for Spencer, who really couldn’t deny it. Downside of his memory and the knowledge he had; he knew all the negative statistics that were out there. The ones that he didn’t know, he easily found when trying to read the pregnancy books that he’d picked up. There was plenty enough in those to scare the hell out of anyone.

“Spence is gonna be fine.” JJ reached out and patted Spencer's leg, giving him another of those smiles of hers that Spencer had always thought of as loving and mothering all at the same time. “You’re going to be great, Spence. You really are. These kids are lucky to have you. And you’re not alone in this, either. You’ve got a support system around you ready to help whenever you need. I was even thinking, if you wanted, I could take some time off when the babies get here and maybe I could come out and stay for a little bit. Just to help out.”

Surprise lit Spencer's face as he looked at her. She’d do that for him? “Really? What about Henry and Will?”

“They could survive without me for a little bit. Having a new baby is insanity, Spence. There’s no shame in accepting a little help until you’re a bit more comfortable.”

Warmth filled Spencer. Reaching down, he laid his hand over top of hers which still sat on his leg. He curled his fingers around hers an gave a soft squeeze. “Thanks, JJ.”

She flashed him another of those warm smiles. “Of course. That’s what friends do.”

* * *

About the time that the four of them reached Spencer's house was when three different cell phones in the car went off at almost the exact same time. The group text was one that Spencer recognized easily even without seeing the message. There was a small pang inside over the fact that there would be no text coming in for him; not anymore.

“Well, so much for our weekend.” Emily sighed out, closing her phone.

Penelope dropped her phone back into her purse. “We can at least help you get things inside, first.”

“I can get them inside.” It wouldn’t be that hard. The benefit of his mutation being ‘magic’ was that there were quite a few ways he could apply it. Getting stuff out of the back of his van and into the house was pretty simple. “We should get you guys back home. If you grab your things, I can get you there. I don’t want you to be late.”

“Spence, are you sure?” Pulling up into Spencer's garage, JJ put the car in park before turning it off. She twisted just enough in her seat to look towards him as she handed him his keys. “It shouldn’t take us long to get all this inside. I don’t want to leave you hauling it all, even with your powers. IT doesn’t feel quite right.”

“I’ll be _fine_.” Spencer insisted.

With only a few more protests, Spencer got them all out of the van and they got the girls’ things out of the back. After that it was just a matter of gathering them all together and getting everyone to hang on to each other. Once the girls were all holding tight, Spencer reached a hand out and close one over JJ’s shoulder and one over Emily’s. All he really had to have was a hand on one; so long as the others were linked, he could pull them all along. But the more there were the harder it was to do. It helped him stabilize a little to hold on to more than one of them. Or, to even have them all hold on to _him_.

He took them back to Emily’s apartment. That was where he’d picked them up from; all their cars were there.

It took a good fifteen minutes for more hugs, best wishes, and promises to see one another again soon. When Spencer finally headed back home, he wasn’t ashamed to admit that he was ready to get off his feet a bit. This month in his pregnancy seemed to have brought about a bit more energy, and definitely less nausea, but it had also brought on swollen ankles. Hank had said that could also be attributed to the heat of the past month. July was the hottest month in New York. They were only in the beginning of August right now, so it was all just starting to cool down around here, the heat gradually giving way. Spencer had to say he was thankful that he was going to be through with summer before he got to the later parts of this pregnancy. By the time he was much larger, he’d be in the cooler months. On the flip side of that, he was going to be large and uncoordinated in the rainy and snowy months of the year, which would put him at risk for more falls. That was something he’d have to be extremely careful of. He wasn’t known for his grace at the best of times. He couldn’t imagine it would get any better as the pregnancy progressed.

A small use of his powers had the items from the van deposited into the family room. Then, with a happy sigh, he settled himself down onto the couch. For a moment he let himself just sit there and relax. He kicked his shoes off and propped his socked feet up on the coffee table in front of him.

His life was changing so much. Everything was so _different_. Some days he felt like he was still trying to play catchup on it all.

The empty house that he’d toured a little over a month ago was gradually becoming a home. Some of the furniture he’d gotten had been purchased new but some had come from thrift stores. He couldn’t help it; he’d shopped at those places all his life. Shopping there now for some things was just second nature. That was where the beautiful coffee table he currently had his feet on had come from. As well as the furniture in the formal dining room. A long, beautiful table with a cherry finish, plus the eight chairs to go around it, and a matching hutch for the formal dinnerware. Those were all thrift shop finds he was rather proud of.

The couch and loveseat that sat in the family room were new, though. The couch sat against the long wall with a perfect view of the fireplace, the TV against the opposite wall, and even over to the kitchen. The love seat was set to face the fireplace, with its back towards the kitchen. Spencer sat on the couch and just enjoyed looking over the space. The kitchen was still technically a ‘construction zone’ but he could see what it would be like. The potential that he’d seen when Logan had first showed him the place was slowly coming together. The walls had already been painted and Logan had brought by some tiles he’d found “at a damn good deal” that were going to make what he called a backsplash for the counters. There were even curtains ready to be hung up over the windows in the breakfast nook. Curtains. Spencer chuckled as he looked at them. He wouldn’t have even thought of hanging something like those, but Remy had showed up with them the last time he visited, saying that Ororo had sewed them for him as a housewarming gift.

Looking at the kitchen reminded him that he was hungry. Briefly he contemplated actually getting up and going to make something. Then he grinned and a TV tray appeared on his lap with a can of Dr. Pepper on it and a bowl of macaroni and cheese loaded down with hot dog pieces and olives. Another brief thought and he added a small bowl of fruit to the tray.

There were some times that his powers really came in handy.

He was mostly done with his lunch when his cell phone went off. Instead of picking it up, he hit the button to put it on speakerphone and left it sitting on the TV tray. “Dr. Reid.”

“ _Bonjour, mon ami._ ” Remy’s smooth voice came over the line, bringing an almost immediate smile to Spencer's lips. “ _Comment ça va?_ ”

Spencer smothered a chuckle as he speared a piece of cantaloupe with his fork. “I’m tired and sore, but quite happily ensconced on my couch with my feet up while I eat my lunch.” He popped the bit of fruit into his mouth and, because there was no one there to see him, simply spoke around it. “And how are you?”

“ _Bored._ ” The reply was immediate and was followed by a chuckle. “ _Me an de others are on our way back home right now an everyone’s being all lazy an tired._ ”

Ah, of course. The team must’ve gone out to do some of their ‘work’, or whatever label they wanted to put on what the X-Men did. Whatever it was, it’d apparently left everyone else tired. It wasn’t any real surprise that Remy wasn’t. That man had far too much energy for his own good. More than once he’d heard Logan or Scott joke about finding things to keep Remy busy, because a bored Remy was a dangerous Remy. There was no telling what kind of trouble he’d get into. “Try not to drive your friends insane.” Spencer warned him.

“ _Aint makin’ no promises, cher._ ”

“Of course you aren’t. How silly of me.”

“ _Exactly. Silly Spencer._ ” Remy scoffed at him. Then he chuckled. “ _So, what’s got y’ tired and aching? Aint y’ supposed to be taking it easy dis weekend, cher?_ ”

“I am taking it easy—now. I went shopping with JJ, Emily and Garcia. We picked up my new van and then the girls took me out to get a few things.” A few things—yeah, right. He looked around at the bags still littering the floor and chuckled a little. “Well, more than a few. I should’ve known better than to shop with those three. The family room floor is covered in bags right now.”

“ _Sounds like y’ had a good time, den. Get y’rself some good stuff, or did y’all just shop fo’ de bébés?_ ”

“Most of it’s for the babies, but there are a few things in there for me as well. New clothes.” He lowered one hand to rub over his stomach. “I’m growing out of the ones I have a little faster than I like. Oh!” The exclamation slipped past his lips as that faint feeling in his stomach grew just a little bit stronger. Spencer ignored the sound of Remy’s voice demanding to know what was going on and he focused on his stomach, rubbing a hand over it and trying to concentrate on what that feeling was. It wasn’t the indigestion that he’d been having lately, nor the soft little flutters he’d wondered about. This was more…strange. It wasn’t the babies kicking. More like, rolling. Like they were rolling or twisting around inside of him. “God, that’s weird.”

“ _What is it? What’s going on, Spencer?_ ” Remy demanded

“I think…I think the babies are moving.” Spencer said slowly. He couldn’t believe it. Was that really them? It was all focused on one side, on the right, but he was almost sure it was them.

“ _Dey’re kicking_?” There was something like awe in Remy’s voice now.

“No, not kicking. More like, rolling? Shifting. I don’t know. I don’t know the words to describe it. It feels like, like I have some alien worm squirming around inside of me.”

The sound of Remy’s laughter echoed around the living room, slightly tinny through the cell’s speakerphone. “ _Ah, cher_.” His laughter was dying away to chuckles now. “ _Only y’ would describe de movement of y’r child as an alien worm._ ”

“Shut up.” Spencer scowled down at the phone on the tray. “When you can say you’ve felt the same sensation, _then_ you can criticize the descriptions that I use.”

His little snap of temper, something that happened more frequently than he liked—mood swings, he was discovering, were a giant pain—didn’t even seem to bother Remy. The man just chuckled and said “ _Touché._ ”

That strange sensation came again, more towards the left this time, and Spencer moved his hand there automatically. It did feel strange, this weird little squirmy movement in him that he was thinking maybe, just maybe he’d felt before and had just passed off as gas or indigestion or something equally benign. And really it was the babies inside of him, these little humans that he had made just shifting their way around into a better position. Against his will, Spencer felt the tears welling up in his eyes. He tried to wipe at his face and almost got his fork stuck in his hair. He’d forgotten entirely that he was holding it. He set it down and then tried again, wiping away the few stray tears that had leaked free.

“ _Spencer…are y’ crying?_ ”

The question was asked in such a gentle voice, so full of open affection and a hint of worry, it only fueled Spencer's tears even more. Still, he wiped them away as if he could hide them, even though he logically knew that Remy couldn’t _see_ them. “No.” he denied, the wobble in his voice and yet another sniffle giving that away for the lie that it was. To try and cover it up, Spencer fell back on what he knew best, what he was most comfortable with—facts. “The first movement can be felt anywhere between weeks fourteen and twenty six, but for most pregnancies it averages between eighteen and twenty two weeks. However, the kicks aren’t usually felt on the outside until anywhere from twenty to twenty four weeks.”

Remy didn’t call him on his attempts to hide his tears. When he spoke, though, his voice still held that gentle note to it, a note that Spencer had noticed there more and more often lately. “ _So what y’r saying is dat y’r feeling dem a little early, mais still at a normal time, oui? I’m happy fo’ y’, cher._ ”

“Hank’s been keeping an eye on them at my appointments. He said at the next appointment he can try and check the genders.” Spencer hadn’t told anyone else that yet. He knew what he wanted to do; he was a logical person at heart and knowing the babies genders seemed very logical to him. Better to be able to know and prepare.

“ _Y’ gonna set it up so Derek can be dere?_ ” Remy asked him.

The question surprised Spencer. He hadn’t even thought about that. Freezing, he looked down at the phone as if he could look through it to the person on the other side. “I hadn’t planned on it.” Pausing, he chewed on the inside of his lip. “Should I?”

“ _Dat aint a choice fo’ me, Spencer. Dat’s between y’ and Derek. I just know dat, if I were him, I’d wanna be dere._ ”

How would that work? Derek couldn’t exactly come down into the medical labs at the school. Spencer supposed he could travel and get him and bring him straight to the exam room. That way, Derek would only see the room itself, not anything else. Or maybe they could go to the local hospital to do it. Hank had already told Spencer that he’d worked something out with New York-Presbyterian Hospital, which apparently had some of the best care for high risk pregnancies _and_ for male pregnancies. It also had an excellent reputation for their neonatal care, which Spencer knew was important. The babies would almost positively come early and they’d have to spend time in the NICU, he knew. While Hank handled Spencer's current appointments, that’s the hospital at which the babies would be delivered.

Spencer was sure Hank would be able to arrange something there for his next appointment. The man was extremely accommodating, and he had reassured Spencer that the people at that hospital knew him well and would work with him easily. But…Spencer squirmed a little in his seat. He didn’t really want to go there. Sure, he knew he’d have to go at the end. But for now he much preferred going down to Hank’s office. It was strangely comfortable for Spencer in there. He’d always been at home in a more lab like setting than a hospital one. He’d worked in labs often enough himself to know his way around them.

“ _Spencer_?”

“I’m here.” Spencer answered. He had to shake his head to clear out his thoughts. He went quiet again, though, and stayed that way for a minute. When he finally spoke, his voice was just a little hesitant and unsure. “Is it… is it wrong of me to not want him there?” He asked his question so quietly he wasn’t sure if Remy even heard him. But, really, it was how he felt, no matter how guilty he felt about it.

“ _It aint wrong._ ” Remy said immediately. “ _Dis is y’r body, Spencer, and y’ve got de right to share it with who y’ will. Remember? Even y’ said dat to him b’fore._ ”

“I know. But, I mean, these are his too, right? He has the right to be there. I shouldn’t keep him back from it just because I’m unhappy with him.”

“ _Spencer, y’ve got every right in de world to be unhappy with him, and y’ got every right to decide what parts of dis pregnancy he’s gonna be involved in._ ”

“I don’t want to seem like I’m using the kids against him. They aren’t a club to use in the fight between us.”

“ _Of course dey aint. But dis? Dis aint using dem against him. Y’ aint using dis as a way to punish him for hurting y’. Y’r just thinking of y’rself for once in y’r life. Y’r thinking of what y’ feel, what y’ want, and dere’s nothing wrong with dat. Don’t force y’rself to do things y’ don’t wanna do, cher. Don’t let anyone make y’ feel like y’ should, either. After y’r appointment, y’ can take de ultrasounds to Derek and show him, and y’ two can talk about it den if dat works better for y’. But if y’ don’t want him at y’r appointment, den don’t have him dere._ ”

The way Remy said it made it sound so simple and easy. Spencer really didn’t want to upset Derek or make him feel like Spencer was using the children as a club between them. That was the last thing he wanted. But he just, he wasn’t ready to share something like this with him. Something intimate. Derek had betrayed the intimacy between them in the worst sort of way and he’d shattered the trust that sat between them. To have him there at an appointment where Spencer knew he was going to be exposed and vulnerable, physically and emotionally, the idea of that just scared him. He didn’t trust Derek to see him like that anymore. And that realization was heartbreaking.

Remy’s calm reassurance that it was okay to not have him there helped Spencer to steady himself a little. “Thanks, Remy.” He had no idea what he’d do without the man. Ever since he’d called Spencer on that really crappy night and Spencer had shown up on the back porch of the mansion, Remy had been taking care of him. Even when Spencer was cranky, when hormones had him snapping one moment and ready to cry the next, even when the loneliness and the bit of depression crept up on him, Remy was there. He didn’t shy away from Spencer's mood swings or pregnancy rambles or any of it. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He said honestly.

“ _If I have my way, y’ aint never gonna have to find out. I’m not planning on going anywhere, Spencer._ ”

“That’s what friends do.” Spencer quoted, thinking of JJ’s words earlier that day.

There was only a slight pause, almost like a little hesitation, before Remy answered. “ _Exactly. Dat’s what friends do, cher. An I’ll always be y’r friend._ ”

“Thank you.”

“ _Always, cher. Always._ ”

The warmth of that promise stayed with Spencer long through the night.


	11. Chapter 11

**Five Months**

**Week Eighteen**

* * *

When Spencer had first started his classes, he’d been so sure that the World Lit class was going to be the one he’d have the most trouble with and that his Advance Mathematics class would be the one he’d coast through. Numbers were always so easy and comfortable for him. They didn’t lie, didn’t mess up, didn’t make things difficult. No matter what the problem it could always be solved in the end. Even if you had to take a different route than others to get there, the answer always came out the same. And he was right—his Advance Mathematics class _was_ easy, and he did enjoy it. Showing children the various routes to get to that answer was a surprising pleasure.

However, he was surprised to find that he was immensely enjoying his World Lit class as well. They were only a few weeks in now and yet he was already coming to enjoy it so much. It was kind of strange, really. The class was bigger than his morning one—he had a room of twenty this time instead of ten. He also had to do a lot more talking in here. Not just about something safe, like numbers, but about other things, abstract things. Thoughts, feelings, opinions. They didn’t just read books in this class.

When Spencer had been given the basic course syllabus for this class, the objectives listed on it had been:

l. To give the student a broad background of the literary, philosophic, and religious heritage of world literature.

2\. To acquaint the student with specific literary works, terminology, and periods.

3\. To deepen the student's understanding and awareness of general human problems.

4\. To lead the student to understand literary works and periods in relation to our own time and situation.

Those were some pretty broad goals. They left Spencer a lot of leeway on what he wanted to show and even on which literary pieces he wanted to use. He’d done his research on it. With the help of Penelope, he’d checked out other syllabi for courses such as this one. Then he’d sat down and written out just what he wanted to do. Books had always been a pleasure of his. He was enjoying the fact that they seemed to be a pleasure for most of his students, too. _Most_. There were one or two he could already tell weren’t all that thrilled to be in his class.

Today they were discussing one of the books that Spencer had made absolutely sure was on his list. It’d been on every list he’d seen for other World Lit classes—The Iliad. It was their book of the week and one that’d he’d personally enjoyed when he was younger. They were reading aloud, something that Spencer didn’t require they all participate in, but that he encouraged they all do. Some stories were best enjoyed when they were read to you.

Kristi, a fifteen year old telekinetic, was the one reading at the moment. Instead of sitting in her seat, she sat on her desk, legs folded up and crossed. It probably would’ve surprised some of his team to see the sort of loose classroom that Spencer ran. So long as things were kept neat, no giant messes made, and people were safe, he wasn’t particular about them sitting just in their chairs. Especially when it was time to read aloud, or read alone. Sitting in standard chairs could get quite uncomfortable after a while. So he let them sit where they wanted. On their desks, their chairs, the floor. In a cupboard against the far wall he kept a stock of cushions for them to use.  He was thinking about adding blankets in there too as the months got colder. It was the end of August and the weather was already getting chillier and chillier.

As he listened to Kristi read through the passage, Spencer watched his students around her, taking note of who was paying attention and who wasn’t. Over by the far wall was a young man with owl-like features who, if Spencer remembered correctly, could shape shift into said animal. Conrad was his name. He was seventeen, one of the oldest in Spencer's class, one of the quietest ones, one who looked like he didn’t want to be here—and he was also one of the smartest that Spencer had seen. In just the month that he’d been teaching here he’d already been able to see that. Conrad absorbed books with a speed that was quite impressive in comparison to his peers. But Spencer had a feeling that someone, somewhere in his life had taught him to not show such an interest in things. That it either wasn’t ‘cool’ or acceptable to be this smart. So, the teen hid it. Spencer made it a personal goal to try to draw the boy out sometime before his class was complete.

A kick drew the genius out of his thoughts and back to the moment. Immediately he put his hand on his stomach to try and rub soothingly at that spot. A lot of the literature he’d read said that feeling the babies kick was normal at the time he was at, and they also said that many expectant parents felt multiples kick more often—obviously because there were more limbs to feel—but he still found himself surprised by how quickly those little flutters and weird squirmy feelings had developed into these stretches and twists and kicks that he knew were light compared to what they were going to turn into.

The kicking reminded him that he had an appointment today, a very important appointment with Hank, and a glance up at the wall clock showed he only had about seven minutes left before class was over. Once class was done, he’d have enough time to gather things up and then head downstairs.

“All right everyone.” Spencer called out as soon as Kristi finished the passage she was on. “Go ahead and put your books away; that’s enough for today. We’ve got about five minutes left of class here and there’s something I want to talk to you guys about before you go off to enjoy your weekends.” He waited as everyone put their books into their bags and settled down once more before he started to speak again. “Now, if you guys read any of the papers I handed out at the start of class, you know that one important part of your grade this semester is your research paper. I’ve given you guys about a month here to settle in to class and get started with your year. Now it’s time to really start to get ready for that. So, on that note, I want you guys to think over the weekend and try to figure out what topic you want. At some point next week I’m going to meet with each one of you and I want to have all your topics chosen and approved by Friday. That’s one week from today.”

He paused to allow for the groans that echoed around his room. Towards the back of the class, he saw the door open and Remy stepped in. He came in just enough to be able to prop his shoulder up against the doorframe, and he smiled at Spencer.

Spencer smothered his own smile and turned his attention back to his class. “Think carefully about what you want to write. Your subjects can be varied—pick something that interests you. Education in Early Greece, Medicine in the Middle Ages, slavery among the Hebrews, the brutality of the Spanish Inquisition, architecture of the Romans, music of the Renaissance—there are so many different topics to pick from. Find one that you like. It’ll make it a lot easier to write. Try to pick a culture besides the United States, though. Your focus should be on learning about cultures other than your own. Don’t be afraid to be creative, either. It doesn’t have to be just a boring paper you read aloud. You’re more than welcome to put your main focus into a project with it.”

The bell rang and immediately students started to gather their things. Watching them, Spencer called out “Remember, think about it over the weekend and be ready to bring me something next week.”

It took a few minutes for the students to file out of his room. By the time they were gone and Remy finally made his way toward Spencer, the young genius was bracing a hand on his chair to prepare to push himself up. Comfortable though the chair may be, his belly was throwing off his center of gravity as well as making it a bit more difficult to bend just right to get up. _If I feel like this now, when I’m just halfway through, what on earth am I going to feel like in the end?_ That thought wasn’t all that reassuring.

He wasn’t surprised when Remy’s hand appeared in front of him. Spencer smiled up at him and reached out to take his hand. “You’re out early.” He commented, grunting just a bit when Remy hauled him up. It took a second for him to settle himself before he smiled at his friend. “Shouldn’t you have still been with your own class?”

“Let em go early.” Remy flashed a cheeky grin at him. “It’s de weekend. Everyone’s ready to get outta here.”

“So why aren’t you preparing for a weekend of excitement and debauchery?” Spencer teased him. He’d heard enough stories over the years, not just from Derek but from Remy himself, to know what kind of escapades the Cajun could get up to.

Remy grinned and followed after Spencer as he gathered up a stack of papers off his table and headed back towards his office. “An miss hanging out with y’, cher? C’mon now!”

“Yes, because at eighteen weeks pregnant everyone knows that I’m simply the life of the party.” Spencer's voice was dry and flat, the sarcasm very evident in it.

His tone only made Remy laugh. “Of course y’ are.” Hitching a hip on the edge of Spencer's desk, he watched while the pregnant man gathered together his papers into a neat stack on the desk and then put them into his bag. When Spencer looked up, he found Remy smiling at him, his expression open and warm. “I like hanging out with y’, Spencer.” Then his smile changed to a smirk and he winked overtop his sunglasses. “Besides, y’ still owe me a rematch on COD. I swear, I’ll kick y’r ass dis time.”

This time it was Spencer who was laughing. Not too long ago Remy had stopped by to visit Spencer's house and he’d been quite surprised and amused to find that Spencer had an Xbox set up in his family room. It’d been a gift from Derek, who had been the one to get Spencer addicted to some of the games on there. He’d told Spencer “I figured it’ll give you something to do when you’re supposed to be resting. Plus, that way you can have Netflix up on your TV instead of on a laptop or whatever.”

Many nights with Derek during their marriage had been spent playing games with each other. It’d been a fun way for them to unwind. Once Spencer got the hang of all the buttons and what to do, he had started to win, too, much to Derek’s amusement. He’d proved to be pretty damn good. A favorite of theirs to play had been COD—Call of Duty.

When Remy had come by and seen the game there, he’d laughed for a good ten minutes. Then he’d grabbed a controller and demanded they play right then and there. Since then, the two had played a few games, and Remy had only won one of them.

“You just keep telling yourself that, Rem.” Spencer said teasingly. He added a few books to his bag and then closed the flap on it.

Before he could start to lift it, Remy reached out and took it from him, pulling the strap up and lifting it onto his own shoulder. He didn’t even give Spencer a chance to protest. “Y’r awfully cocky dere, Dr. Reid. Why don’t y’ put y’r money where y’r mouth is.”

“A bet?” The thought of that was enough to distract Spencer from the fact that his friend had stolen his bag. The two set off from the office together, Remy holding the classroom door open for him when they got there. “What kind of bet?”

“A fiddle of gold against y’r soul says I’m better’n y’.” Remy said in a sing-song voice.

Spencer looked up in surprise as they stepped into the hall. “I know that.” He grinned, rather proud of himself. It wasn’t often that he got the jokes or references that people made. But he recognized this one. “That’s from that song, the Devil Went Down to Georgia.”

Laughing, Remy bumped their shoulders together. “Look at y’. M’ little Spencer, all grown up and getting references.” He pretended to wipe a tear. “I’m so proud.”

“Oh, be quiet!” Spencer shoved at him, making him stumbled to the side, but it only had Remy laughing more. The Cajun came back over and slung an arm around his shoulders, grinning at him as they stepped into the elevator to take them downstairs.

They were still playfully bickering when they reached the labs. Hank looked up at their entrance and smiled fondly at the two of them. Like many others in the house, he’d watched these two as they’d gotten closer and closer since Spencer's arrival here. He waited until they were both inside the lab and the door shut before he called out his greeting. “Good afternoon Dr. Reid, young LeBeau.”

“Hey, Henri.” Remy called out.

“Good afternoon, Dr. McCoy.” Spencer said, deliberately using the man’s title. Hank could be so formal sometimes and Spencer had often invited him to call him either Reid or Spencer, like everyone else did, yet Hank still often tacked the ‘Doctor’ to the front of it. He told Spencer that he’d earned that title and he should be proud to hear it. So, as long as Hank insisted on using his title, he was going to use _his_.

Hank didn’t bat an eye at the fact that Remy was staying at Spencer's side, not just dropping him off. This wasn’t the first appointment that the man had come to with him. Considering the high risk nature of Spencer's pregnancy, he came down once a week to see Hank, and Remy had been there for most every appointment. Hank rose from the stool he’d been sitting on and gestured with one hand towards the private room on the far end. “Step on inside and we can get this appointment underway. We’ll do the ultrasound first and then, well, you know the drill.”

Yep. Urine test came after that, thankfully. A bathroom break was always necessary after an ultrasound anyways.

When Spencer got into the exam room, Remy’s hands were there to steady him as he climbed up onto the exam table. Spencer gave him a shy smile in thanks. It didn’t seem odd to him at all to have Remy settle down into the chair beside him. The only thing that Spencer felt was a moment of shyness as he laid himself back on the table and Hank came over, pulling the ultrasound machine with him. Spencer snuck a look at Remy, suddenly very much aware that he was going to be pulling up his shirt in front of the man and showing him the stomach that Spencer had kept hidden from pretty much everyone except Hank since it had started to grow. It wasn’t like it was the most attractive of features on him despite everyone’s seeming fascination with it.

He shouldn’t have worried. As soon as he pulled up the bottom of his button down shirt, Remy, the dork that he was, leaned in and practically _cooed_ at his belly. To Spencer's complete surprise, the Cajun actually reached a hand out and ran it over his stomach as he said “Aw, _bonjour bébés_!”

Spencer couldn’t help but laugh even as he swatted Remy’s hand away. “Keep your hands to yourself, LeBeau. My stomach is not open for _petting_.”

“ _Mais_ it’s so cute!” Remy exclaimed. He was smirking, though, and Spencer knew he was being teased. It didn’t stop him from blushing, though.

The look on Hank’s face was a fond sort of amusement as he shook his head at them. “Gentlemen, if I may…” He held out the bottle of gel and looked from one man to the other. He waited for Spencer to roll down the top of his slacks and nod and then he was spreading the cold gel on there, which always made Spencer shiver a little. “All right. Let’s see what we have here today. I’m going to check them over first, make sure that they’re all doing okay, and then if they cooperate, maybe we’ll be able to find out more than just a guess on gender.” They’d wanted to try that at his sixteen week scan, but not a one of the babies had been cooperative that day.

The first thing they did was listen to the heartbeats. Hank measured them, making sure they were within the range they were supposed to be. The sound was something that Spencer didn’t think he’d ever get tired of hearing. It was a sound that told him that they were alive in there. That they were real. It was a sound he cherished almost as much as he cherished the images that were coming up on the ultrasound machine. As Hank started to take measurements, the images became clearer. Spencer didn’t even realize that he’d reached down to Remy at some point. All he knew was that he was holding tightly to Remy’s hand and Remy was holding him back just as tight.

“Baby A’s being so well behaved today.” Hank commented as he clicked the buttons to hold the picture. Then he moved, sliding to get an image of Baby B who shared the same space as Baby A. As he tried to capture this one, he chuckle. “Baby B, however, seems to want to move.”

“That’s probably the kicker I felt earlier.” Spencer said softly.

“It might well be.”

“Look, Spencer!” Remy leaned forward, pointing around Hank to the screen. There was a hint of wonder in his voice as he said “Would y’ look at dat! Y’ see his little hand dere, right up by his face?”

Spencer could. He could see it clear as day. A lump built in his throat that he had to fight to swallow down. “The baby’s sucking its thumb.”

“They both seem to be doing very well, Dr. Reid. Very well indeed.” Hank added a bit more gel to Spencer's stomach and moved the wand again, pressing down here and there as he made his way up to the top where Baby C was sitting. “All right, let’s check out the one hiding up here in the Penthouse suite.” He teased. Baby C was the one that was alone and it had taken to sitting mostly at the top of Spencer's stomach. This was the baby that sometimes stretched up and made him worry about later on and what kind of heartburn he was going to get.

Only when he’d checked out everything that was important, assuring Spencer that each baby was growing healthy and right, did Hank move on to trying to find the genders. Here was where Spencer found himself suddenly more excited than he’d expected. He stared at the 3D images that came up on the screen, eyes glued to it as Hank moved the wand around. Remy let out a soft sound of surprise at the 3D imaging. “Look at how clear dat is.” He murmured.

Spencer stared at the face of Baby A and he couldn’t stop the smile; he didn’t want to stop it. He watched as a foot came into view right in Baby A’s face and he laughed right along with the others. Hank, however, took perfect advantage of Baby B’s lifted leg and moved until he could get a perfect glimpse. Spencer made a soft sound of both pleasure and surprise. “A boy.” He breathed out. “It’s a boy.”

“Two boys, actually.” Hank said. He adjusted the image and Spencer got a clear shot of the other little boy.

“Boys.” Baby A and B were both boys. Spencer looked at them and felt his heart swell just a little more. Two boys. Two little boys. Would they look like him? Like Derek? Would they have Derek’s dark eyes, his skin? Would they have Spencer's pale complexion? Or, a mix of the two? Would they be nerdy like him, or sporty like their other father? A thousand and one questions spilled through Spencer's mind and he didn’t know the answer to a one of them. He didn’t care, either. _Boys_. He was having two boys.

“Dey’re beautiful, Spencer.” Remy praised softly.

“Well, we picked the perfect day to do this. Even Baby C is cooperating up here.” Hank said with a laugh. “Look at how well she posed here.”

She? The one word stood out amongst the rest and Spencer felt his breath catch in his throat. “It’s a little girl?”

Hank turned to smile back at him. “Congratulations, Dr. Reid. You’re going to be the proud parent of two boys and a girl.”

Without any shame whatsoever, Spencer broke down and cried. Lying there on the exam table staring at the images of his three children, of his two boys and one little girl, he laughed and he cried through a joy unlike anything he’d ever felt before.

* * *

He cried again later that night as he sat on the bed of the motel room that Derek was staying in. The team was on a case when Spencer called and it had taken a bit of work for Spencer to figure out how to get to him. But luckily, their case was in a city he knew well enough to teleport him close. From there, he took a cab to the motel the team was staying at.

He wasn’t the only one to cry. There were tears on Derek’s part, too. It was one of the few times that Spencer could think of that he’d ever seen the man break down that way. He watched the tears slide down Derek’s cheeks even as he was smiling, and for that moment there was nothing between them, no walls, no past, no drama, no affairs – nothing stood between them. They were just two men sharing in the joy of their upcoming children and the realization that they were going to be parents.

* * *

**Week Twenty – And Five Days**

* * *

Spencer very firmly believed that one of the greatest inventions man ever made was the Belly Band. It had been one of those odd things that the girls had bought for him on his last shopping trip and which he’d taken quite a while to figure out and try. Absolutely no one needed to know how long he’d struggled in the privacy of his room to figure out how to get the damn thing on. However, once he did—he wasn’t sure he was ever taking it off again. A belly band was made to help support a pregnant belly, often during the last trimester for singleton pregnancies, or even earlier for multiple pregnancies. Right now, he needed all the help he could get as his growing belly made his back and hips hurt like crazy.

The thing looked utterly ridiculous. There was no denying that. But it was meant to be worn under the clothes so he had no worries about anyone seeing it. It was basically a set of bands to help support the weight of his stomach. One thick band went under his belly and came up on the sides, where it split into two. The thicker part of the band went to his back so that it sat like a belt while the rest came up and crossed in an X over his chest and went over his shoulders like bra straps, going down his back to connect with the band at his lower back. Smaller straps also went from the base at the back and around his sides to connect with the side of the straps. It sounded complicated; Spencer had thought that just _reading_ it. Putting it on had been an adventure. But by the time he got it on it was pretty simple. Basically, there was this big circular hole at the front for his stomach to go through, and once it was on it left him with a band under his belly holding it up and straps over his shoulders to help support the weight that band was holding.

It took some of the pressure off of his back and even more off of his hips—a blessing if he’d ever seen one. Being that it was mid-September and the weather kept getting colder, it was easy to put on an undershirt, then this band, and then a shirt over it, and he didn’t have to worry about being too warm. It made it much easier for him to move around, too.

Not that he was doing a lot of moving. At his last appointment, Hank had expressed worry about his blood pressure.

“Your blood pressure’s still a little higher than I’d like, Dr. Reid.” Hank had told him. He’d jotted down the number on his chart and then looked back up at Spencer. “You need to take it easy. No pushing yourself. I want you to start resting more, try to squeeze in an afternoon nap if you can. At the very least you should lie down a bit in the afternoons, on your left side to help take the weight of the babies off your major blood vessels a bit. I also want you to start drinking more water and consuming less salt in your diet. I want to get this under control before it progresses any further.”

The fear was that his high blood pressure might develop into preeclampsia, something that he very much did _not_ want to have to deal with. So, Spencer was left following Hank’s orders, just as he had with everything else.

That also meant that his friends were intent on making sure he did so. Hank wasn’t ashamed to employ any extra help in getting Spencer to slow down and relax. Even Scott had made sure a few times to tell Spencer to take it easy on something, or to try and step in to help out.

Even though he knew they cared, it didn’t keep Spencer from getting annoyed on occasion. Little flashes of his temper, the mood swings he hated so much, had more than a few of the adults around him walking cautiously sometimes. The only ones that weren’t afraid were Logan and Remy. Logan just ignored hi growling while Remy occasionally laughed at him.

Those two had no qualms about saying or doing whatever it took to make sure that Spencer rested. Logan had taken to coming in during third period, Spencer's free period right after lunch, and talking with him or even reading to him just to make sure that Spencer would lie down and relax. A comfortable couch against the far wall made it easy for the young genius to actually lie down and take the recommended—ordered—rest.

That was where he was laying the very first time he felt one of the babies kick hard enough to actually make him gasp.

His hand flew to his stomach and he knew his eyes had gone wide. The sound of his gasp and the open shock of his reaction had Logan moving from his nearby chair where he’d been reading aloud to Spencer. In a flash he was out of the chair and squatting down in front of him. “Darlin?” One hand came up to rest on Spencer's stomach, right beside Spencer's hand, and his eyes were bright with concern as they locked on Spencer's face. “What is it? Do ya need me to go get Blue?”

“No, no.” Spencer shifted his hand over so that he could cover Logan’s with it. Then he moved the feral’s hand over a little and pressed. The minute he pressed, there was an immediate reaction. One of the boys, who were still the ones down low according to the last appointment, kicked back against the pressure of their hands.

The way that Logan looked at him was something that Spencer would never forget. It was the way he imagined most fathers would look at their child in a moment like this. A mixture of love, awe, and even a hint of pride. “Well damn.” Logan grinned at him. “Would ya feel that? Those pups got a hell of a kick there, don’t they?”

“They’re saying hello to their Papy.” Spencer said teasingly. It amused him to no end to hear Remy tease Logan with that term—which the Cajun did _frequently_. There were never-ending jokes around the school about Logan being an honorary grandfather. It made Logan grumble, but Spencer hadn’t missed the way the man kind of puffed up a little, like he was proud of it, too. Spencer hadn’t once protested any of it. How could he? In the few years that he’d known Logan, the feral had essentially adopted him just as he had his other ‘kids’. Who else would these children call grandpa? His own father wasn’t exactly father material, and Derek’s father was gone. Who else but this gruff yet gentle man who was kneeling before him now?

Logan mock glared at him, but it wasn’t enough to wipe away the bright grin he wore. “Don’t you start that shit too. _Papy_.” He said the word with no small amount of disgust. “What’s wrong with just Grandpa? Pops? Something, I don’t know, _normal_.”

It was amusing that it wasn’t the position of grandfather he was protesting, just the word that Remy used to label it. “Since when do we do anything normal around here?” Spencer let out a warm laugh and shook his head. “Logan, I’m a mutant with control over something akin to magic who also happens to be pregnant with triplets and is teaching at a school for other mutants. Show me where the ‘normal’ is in that.”

That had Logan chuckling. His hand, which hadn’t left Spencer's stomach yet, rubbed soothingly when he felt another kick. “Shut up, smart ass.”

The two looked down at their hands again and Spencer marveled a little at the. His own hand was a little swollen compared to how it usually was, something that he was assured was normal in pregnancy, but his fingers were still slender, still pale. In contrast, Logan had short, blunt fingers with a dusting of hair across his knuckles. His fingers were rough and calloused, a working man’s hands. Yet as his hand pressed back against yet another kick, there was nothing but gentleness in that touch.

In that moment, Spencer was glad it was Logan here he could share this moment with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right everyone, this will have to hold you for a while. Thanksgiving is in two days and I might not be back until after Thanksgiving weekend (We’ll see if I slip on and post anyways LOL) So don’t count on anything from me until Monday!
> 
> I’ll see you guys after the holiday!


	12. Chapter 12

**Month Six**

* * *

This was getting ridiculous. Spencer stood in his bedroom and studiously avoided looking in his mirror as he tried to get his shirt to settle on right. At six months pregnant he felt like he was roughly the size of a _planet_. Seeing his toes was a thing of the past. The only way he saw his feet was to lie down and prop his feet up on something. But at the rate his stomach was growing it felt like that could vanish at any point, too.  Seeing anything else below the waist, well, that really wasn’t happening and wouldn’t again until this belly was gone. Spencer honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen his own dick. It seemed a ridiculous thing to get annoyed about, but really, it was rather frustrating. Not that Spencer would complain to anyone about it. But in the privacy of his own home, when it was just him by himself getting up to pee yet again in the middle of the night, he cursed the fact that he’d lost the ability to pee standing up. It wasn’t exactly possible when you couldn’t really see what you were doing.

Spencer scowled a little more as he yanked off the shirt he’d been trying to put on. That was definitely one for the ‘small’ pile. Another look through his closet and he finally found a shirt that should fit. Seeing it took some of the scowl off and had his lips curving ever so slightly. The shirt had just arrived in the mail a few days ago in a package from Penelope. She sent him packages _frequently_. Wearing it today felt appropriate.

It was a Halloween shirt. She’d sent him a few to get him through the rest of October. They were only a week and a half in to the month and apparently she felt he needed to dress appropriately for it. There were shirts that had been in the package that had a Jack o’ Lantern as the belly, another with a bit Jack Skellington smile, one that said Mummy to Be, and then this one. This one was a black long sleeved shirt that had a set of baby handprints dead center on the belly, and underneath was written ‘Let Me Out’. Two more sets of handprints had been added on either side—courtesy of Penelope, he knew. The shirt amused him as he pulled it on and stretched it down over his stomach. Luckily it was long enough that it covered his belly. More and more he was getting an issue with shirts that left the bottom of his belly exposed. Or, more accurately, the belly band, because he wore that almost constantly.

He grabbed the orange winter vest that Penelope had sent with it all and pulled that on as well. There. He looked utterly ludicrous but he was dressed. He could leave the house. Even if that idea was less and less appealing the longer that he was on his feet.

Per Hank’s orders, Spencer had been resting quite a bit lately. He had so far managed to really avoid bed rest. It was getting to be a close thing, though. The babies were doing healthy, no signs of distress or anything like that, but Spencer's blood pressure just wouldn’t settle at a decent number no matter what he did, and if he pushed himself too hard contractions would start to threaten. That was the last thing in the world they wanted. Making it to thirty two weeks was the goal, though that was still early. Spencer was determined to do anything he could to make it to at least that, though preferably longer.

He put those thoughts aside for the moment and focused back on the day he had planned. There were important things he had to take care of today. Things that he really should’ve already been doing.

A small use of his powers helped him to get his shoes on. He wasn’t even going to attempt bending down to put them on. Yeah, right.

Once he was ready, his new messenger bag slung on, keys in hand, he focused his powers and took himself from his house to the front step of what was still the most familiar place to him—his old house. Derek’s house.

He hadn’t expected anyone to be home, so he hadn’t really thought about showing up here. So when he landed and he saw a car in the driveway, it made his stomach give a little twist. That wasn’t Derek’s car.

No, nope, he was not going to think about that. He wasn’t going to think about who Derek had in their— _his_ house. This wasn’t Spencer's home anymore and, as of last Friday, Derek wasn’t his husband anymore.

No one needed to know that Spencer had spent that entire night curled up in his bed, sobbing for what was, what had been, and what could’ve been.

The cab that Spencer had called was already waiting down at the curb. He carefully made his way out of the sheltered porch, a nice little alcove that he’d used many times to arrive in safely out of view, and then down the driveway. Time to get this day started.

* * *

Thirty minutes later Spencer was riding inside of an elevator that he hadn’t been inside of for quite a while. The visitors badge attached to his vest felt slightly odd compared to the badge he used to wear. That oddness faded as the doors opened and Spencer found every single member of his old team waiting there for him. The grin that stretched over his lips was wide and bright at the sight of them.

“Reid!” Emily cried out. At the same time, Penelope let out a sound that was almost a squeal and cried out “Oh, look at you!”

Spencer stepped out of the elevator and his friends just converged on him. They surrounded him, each one of them, and Spencer was wrapped up in hugs and affection and so many various hands on his stomach. It was crowded and a little uncomfortable and a little more in his personal space than he usually liked having anyone, but it was perfect. It was absolutely perfect. Spencer absorbed the affection and love from his friends, his family, like a sponge. He soaked it all in and let it fill him and warm his insides. “It’s good to see you guys too.” He told them.

Dave cupped his face in his hands and kissed both his cheeks, chuckling at the immediate blush that warmed there. “You look good, kiddo. Fantastic.”

“You look like you’re about to pop!” Penelope exclaimed.

“Not quite.” Spencer said, chuckling. “Just a bit left to go. We want to hit thirty-two weeks, minimum, though anything beyond that would be great.”

When Spencer turned, he found Derek there now, the man looking both happy and yet slightly hesitant, like he was unsure of his place here. Unsure if he was allowed to step over and hug Spencer or if maybe he had to hang back. Spencer hated that uncertainty. He hated even more the knowledge that he’d helped fuel it. Well, that was about to change. Spencer straightened his shoulders and moved right up to the man. As he always had, Derek reacted immediately, not even seeming to need to think about it. He just opened his arms right when Spencer got close and gave him one of those hugs that Spencer had always loved so much. One of the ones that wrapped tightly around him and made him feel safe and secure up against Derek’s solid chest. There was a pang in Spencer's heart that reminded him that this wasn’t a safe and secure place anymore, not for him, but he pushed it down. Today’s visit was not about him.

“Rossi’s right. You look good.” Derek murmured against his hair. He pulled back and smiled at Spencer, one hand coming up to tuck just a bit of hair behind his ear. His other hand came down, moved like it was going to settle on Spencer's stomach before curling in and then dropping down to his side.

He was trying so hard to give Spencer the space that Spencer had been demanding lately. Seeing it just made Spencer feel even guiltier. Before he could stop himself, he reached out and caught hold of Derek’s hand, drawing it up and laying it on his stomach. Then he slid it over towards the top and pressed. It took only a second before there was movement in response. The kicks, which had grown stronger and stronger with each passing week until Spencer occasionally felt like his insides were being battered by an entire football team, were definitely enough for Derek to feel. The wide-eyed wonder on the man’s face was enough to make Spencer's discomfort very much worth it. “Wow.” Derek breathed out. “Quite the kicker.”

“She is.” Spencer agreed. It was the little girl that was still on top, he knew. At least, she had been at his last appointment.

A look exchanged with Aaron reminded Spencer as to why he was here. The young genius smiled at his one-time boss. “Hey, Hotch, do you mind if I steal Derek for a few hours? I promise I’ll have him back by the time lunch is over.” Lunch break wasn’t for a few more hours.

Aaron’s smile crinkled the corners of his eyes and warmed his expression in a way that very few people here in the Bureau ever got to see. “Of course, Reid.” He said easily. They’d planned all this out earlier; they both knew exactly what was going on. But Aaron played his part well.

Derek looked back and forth between the two of them with surprise showing on his face. He didn’t protest, though. He just asked “Where are we going? Do I need my gun?”

A snort slipped out before Spencer could stop it. “No, you don’t need your gun.” He let go of Derek’s hands to spread his own over his stomach. He wasn’t being really kicked at the moment. They were, however, moving around in there, twisting a little in ways that felt sort of strange and that made his stomach ripple. “I promise, where we’re going is no threat. Now, why don’t you be quiet and go get your jacket? It’s chilly out there.”

“Sir, yes sir.” Derek teased him.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, after Derek spent the entire drive quizzing Spencer as to where they were going and what they were doing, the young genius directed his ex-husband right to the parking lot of Spencer's old OB-GYN.  When Derek saw where they were pulling up, his eyebrows went up in surprise. He pulled the car into the parking spot and put it in park before he turned to look at Spencer. “What’re we doing here? Is everything okay?” His eyes darted down to Spencer's stomach while he turned the car off. “Are the babies okay?”

“They’re fine, Derek. I’m fine.” Spencer hurried to reassure him. He unhooked his seatbelt and shifted a bit, stretching just enough to work out some of the kinks in his back. Riding in a car was an uncomfortable event anymore. Taking hold of the door handle, he gave Derek one last look, one last smile. “I just, I thought maybe you’d like a chance to see that for yourself.”

“What?”

Here was the moment of truth. Spencer had known Derek wouldn’t just ‘go with the flow’. He was going to have to explain himself and he was going to have to apologize. Taking a deep breath, Spencer prepared to do just that. “I owe you an apology, Derek.” He waved a hand to cut off Derek’s immediate attempt at a response. “No, I do. I know you haven’t been able to be anywhere near as involved with this pregnancy as you’d like and I’m sorry for that, I truly am. I’ve been…” Taking a deep breath, he trudged on, made himself finish this. “I’m hurt and upset and I let that keep me away from you. I got caught up in trying to make my new life that I sort of let my old one go. And that’s not fair to you.”

“I understood, Spencer.” Derek said softly.

“That doesn’t make it okay. I told you that you could be a part of this, Derek, and I didn’t keep my word on that. So this, well, this is kind of the only apology I can offer.”

* * *

The appointment was one of the best ideas that Spencer had had. He lay on the exam table while the ultrasound technician ran the wand over his stomach and he watched not only the images of his children on the monitor, he also watched Derek’s face. He saw the joy and awe that spread there as well as a love that was already so immense it was staggering. Derek loved these children already, just the same as Spencer did. It was amazing and wonderful and more painful than Spencer had expected it to be. It hurt to see that much love on Derek’s face and not have it directed his way. But he was so damn happy to see it there for the children.

It was in that moment, as he looked at Derek’s face, at the moisture in the man’s eyes, that he knew that this would work. This co-parent thing between them would work out. There’d be trouble, sure, and they were both going to have to make sacrifices to get there, but it would work. Spencer knew it. Because the both of them already loved these three children more than anyone or anything else in the world. The rest of it would get figured out. The rest they could handle.

* * *

He was tired yet happy by the time he got back home that afternoon. He teleported himself directly into his living room, right onto the couch, and the sigh that slid from him was one of both pleasure and relief at being on something soft and comfortable. The couch felt kind of like Heaven to all of his aching muscles.

“Well welcome home, cher.” Remy called out.

There wasn’t even really any surprise at finding someone in his home. Spencer just rolled his head a little so that he could look over in the direction of the voice. He found Remy in his kitchen, standing at the stove cooking something or other. It’d become a rather familiar sight for him recently. Remy often cooked for him, insistent on trying to make sure that Spencer ate right. He and Logan both were sort of mother-henning him through this pregnancy. By now, Spencer had just kind of grown used to it. It wasn’t even uncommon for Remy or Logan to stay over with him every now and again in an attempt to make sure he ate and rested. Especially on the weekend.

Remy had come out with Spencer this past Friday and stayed in the guest room through the weekend. But days had gone by since then and Spencer had noticed that Remy was still staying there. He left with Spencer each morning to go to the school and came back with him each night. Spencer wasn’t complaining about it; having someone else in the house was wonderful. It made him feel just a little safer knowing that Remy was just down the hall. But he felt sort of bad that Remy was staying here, trying to take care of him, when he could be staying in his own room at Xavier’s, with his friends around him. Remy didn’t look bothered by it, though. In fact, he looked quite comfortable right now, barefoot in Spencer's kitchen cooking something that Spencer couldn’t help but notice smelled rather delicious.

Watching the man twisting here and there to the low beat of the radio he had playing softly near him, Spencer found himself smiling. “Hey, Rem. What’re you making over there?”

“Stir fry!” Remy turned to flash Spencer a smile over his shoulder that just lit up his whole face. “Y’ don’t have a lot—we gotta stock de cupboards again. So I just sorta grabbed what was left of de vegetables in de fridge and got cookin’. I figure we could pick some things up tomorrow after work, _oui_?”

That gave Spencer the perfect opening. He chewed on his bottom lip for a minute before deciding that maybe he should just bite the bullet and say something here. “Remy?”

The Cajun didn’t even turn around. “ _Oui,_ cher?”

“You know…” Spencer wiped a hand over his face and mouth, hesitating briefly before pushing on. “You know you don’t have to stay here, right? I’ll be all right on my own at night and I’m sure you’ve got plenty of other, better things that you’d rather be doing than babysitting me. I mean, you’ve got your own room back at Xavier’s, your own friends, and I know you’ve always had a pretty active social life.”

Out of all the responses he’d expected, the fond and amused look that Remy gave him wasn’t one of them. “Spencer.” Shaking his head, Remy reached out and turned off the burner before pulling the pan off and over to the other side where it could cool. He smiled at Spencer as he gathered up bowls. The room was quiet as Remy served up their food. He didn’t say anything until he’d brought it over to Spencer and handed it to him. When he did, he gave Spencer a look that was so fond, it actually stole Spencer's voice away. “I’m right where I wanna be, Spencer, all right?”

Just those simple words. Nothing else, no big speech, no argument. Just those few simple words. Spencer had no argument for them. Some of the tension drained out of him and he smiled and nodded back at him in a silent ‘okay’.

Remy’s grin grew even bigger and the man nodded back. Then he dropped down onto the couch by Spencer's feet and pressed the TV power on the remote before picking up the Xbox controller. “All right. What do y’ wanna watch while we eat? It’s y’r turn to pick.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a short chapter. Bed rest isn't exactly thrilling to write lol

**Month Seven**

* * *

Bed rest sucked. There was no other way to describe it—bed rest _sucked_. Spencer was not someone who was built for inactivity. Maybe he wasn’t the most physical, but he was one that needed some kind of constant stimulation. Television didn’t count, either. He’d already played through all his games, watched tons of movies on Netflix, read every book he had in the house. One week into his orders of bed rest and Spencer was already going _insane._

His blood pressure still wasn’t as perfect as Hank would like it and the contractions kept threatening him any time he was up and moving for too long. Hank was worried that the babies were going to try and come too soon. Twenty-seven weeks was much sooner than they wanted. They wanted to get Spencer to _at least_ thirty-two weeks. That was the typical date for triplets to make it to. He’d already been restricted to minimal movement before this, Hank ordering him to be on his feet for no more than thirty minutes at a time, maximum. But even that hadn’t stemmed the blood pressure or the contractions. So now Spencer was on full bed rest. The only time he was allowed up was to use the bathroom and even then Hank very strongly suggested that Spencer show no shame in using his powers to get him to the bathroom and back.

He used his powers to get him to and from the school. Bed rest or not, Spencer was not stopping teaching. He’d come to enjoy his teaching position far more than he’d ever planned on. He liked the work and he loved the students. So when he found out that he was going on bed rest, the very first thing he did was replace the chair in his classroom with a comfortable couch that he could sit on. Sure, it looked ridiculous to be lounging on a couch in front of all his students. None of them seemed to care, though, and it worked perfectly to keep Spencer rested and relaxing. Hank allowed it, provided Spencer lay down better between classes. He even had a time schedule set up for how long Spencer was allowed to lay on one side before switching over to the other as well as positions that Spencer wasn’t allowed to lay in.

There were some things he could do, even if he didn’t exactly admit to doing them in front of the others. Not many people knew that Spencer knew how to knit. He’d learned years and years ago not to share that little detail. Derek had almost laughed himself hoarse when he’d found Spencer knitting a Doctor Who scarf for himself, and later the TARDIS beanie for Penelope. But it had been one of those things his Mom had taught him way back when he was younger. Back when she was still doing somewhat okay and the doctor had encouraged her to do things that would keep her mind working and would help her focus when she felt out of sorts. Diana had learned, and she’d taught Spencer in turn, claiming it was a talent he should have.

Spencer used that talent while on bed rest to entertain himself when no one else was around. There was a little bag in the drawer of his nightstand that held his needles and yarn. He’d already knitted a few baby items. Some hats and some little mittens and socks. What he was working on now were blankets for the babies. Once he was done he’d slip them in with the babies’ things. No one would need to know that he’d been the one to make them.

But on this late Sunday afternoon, knitting wasn’t an option as he lay in bed, nor was in the mood for another movie or another book. He felt restless, which had him on edge, and none of the options provided for him were really all that entertaining. The only thing that was keeping him from going insane was the man currently hanging out in his bedroom with him.

Spencer was sitting propped up at the head of the bed with a mound of pillows behind him and his blankets tossed to the side. He was dressed in a pair of pajama pants and one of the nightshirts that Derek had gotten for him that was big enough to almost be a _dress_. Spencer felt ridiculous in it. However, it was extremely comfortable, and right now comfort was more important than fashion. Remy, the little bastard, was down at the foot of the bed lying on his back and amusing himself by painting Spencer's toenails. Spencer had tried to stop him, but he’d learned many times over that sometimes it was best to just let the Cajun have his way. He was less dangerous that way.

“I’m bored.” Spencer sighed out. He was trying to twist enough to be able to see what colors Remy was painting his toes; his stomach didn’t exactly make it the easiest to see.

As if sensing what Spencer was trying to do, Remy curled his hand over Spencer's ankle to hold him into place. “Hold still or y’r gonna mess me up.”

“Why on earth are you painting my toes anyways? Why do you even know _how_ to paint toes?”

“Painted Stormy’s toes plenty of times when I lose a bet with her.” Remy said. He tipped his head and Spencer very much did _not_ think how adorable he looked as he stuck his tongue between his teeth to better concentrate as he painted Spencer's pinky toe. When he finished, he grinned and looked up at Spencer. “I did em last night and figured maybe I’d bring de polish and do y’rs, just fo’ fun. Better dan sitting and doing nothing, _oui_?” All of a sudden his grin grew and he tossed aside the now closed bottle of nail polish. Dark blue, Spencer saw. At least it wasn’t neon pink or anything like that. He watched as Remy stretched himself along the bed to grab at his coat, which was hanging on the post of the footboard. “I brought something else, too. Thought it might be fun.”

“Oh Lord.” Spencer mumbled. That wasn’t exactly a reassuring statement.

A second later Remy made an ‘ah-ha!’ sound and proudly held up what looked to be a…pen? “Got it!”

“Remy—what is that?”

“A body pen.” Remy said. “I got a few of em. Dey’re fun.” He straightened back up, moving to a cross-legged position instead of lying down. He was dressed just as comfortably as Spencer was, in a pair of sweats and a large white t-shirt.

“You are not drawing on me!”

“Hush. It’ll be fun. Y’ was saying y’ were bored!”

“Not bored enough to become your easel, Remy LeBeau.”

“Psh. Calm y’r ass, cher. It’ll wash off in y’r next bath. Until den, why not? It’ll entertain us.” He flashed Spencer a grin. “I’ll let y’ draw on Remy later.”

There wasn’t really anything that Spencer could do to stop him short of using his powers to get Remy off the bed. Really, what would it hurt? Sighing, Spencer rolled his eyes. He didn’t have to say anything. Remy recognized his surrender and made a happy sound before scooting up the bed and to Spencer's left side. There, he settled in once more with his legs crossed, and he caught Spencer's left hand up in his. “So, what’s going on wit’ de babies dis month?” Remy asked as he started to draw on Spencer's middle finger. Again, his tongue slipped out the corner of his mouth as he bit it, his attention focused on his drawing.

Spencer watched as the black paint or ink or whatever from the pen turned into little twisting flames over his fingers. As he watched, he recited the facts that came so easily to mind at Remy’s question. “The babies are almost two pounds by now and should average around 14 inches in length. They sleep and wake now at regular intervals and are even opening and closing their eyes and sucking on their fingers. Their brains are growing and are more and more active now. Their lungs are developed enough that they could survive if born now, though it would take a lot of machinery to keep them that way.”

“Dey aint gonna be born yet.” Remy said firmly. He stopped his drawing long enough to look up at Spencer as if to make sure his words were sinking in. “We got y’ resting and Hank’s taking care of y’. De babies aren’t coming out yet, cher. Don’t y’ worry y’rself. We just gotta get through, what, five more weeks, right?”

_Oh, only five_? Spencer kept that rather sarcastic sounding thought inside his own mind. No reason to get snarky with Remy when he was only trying to help. “Yes. The goal is thirty two weeks, though anything longer than that would be wonderful.”

“Y’ll make it. Y’r too stubborn not to.” With that pronouncement, Remy went back to work, adding the flames down over the back of Spencer's hand and down to his wrist. “Y’ and Derek thought up any baby names yet?”

“I keep asking him and he keeps telling me he doesn’t know yet. But he hasn’t really liked any of the ones I’ve suggested so far.” It was rather annoying, actually. Derek seemed to have no issue shooting down any names that Spencer suggested yet he couldn’t come up with any on his own. Shifting against his pillows until he was comfortable again, Spencer tried not to scowl and only succeeded in looking like he was sulking instead. “Fran told me that Derek’s dad was the same way when she was pregnant. She says in the end, she had to pick all the names and he was just stuck with them, an she told me I’d probably have to do the same. So I told Derek if we don’t settle on something soon, I’m picking them and he can just deal with what I pick.”

“Why don’t y’ name dem after Knights?” Amusement colored Remy’s voice and he snuck a peek up at Spencer's face. “Y’ could have y’r own round table, eh Merlin?”

Spencer rolled his eyes and shoved his knee out at Remy, who just took the blow and laughed through it. “I am not saddling my children with any strange names.”

“Aw, c’mon! Y’ don’t like Percival? Lancelot? Galahad, maybe, or Bohrs.”

“Shut up.” God, the idea of saddling his children with that kind of name was painful. He was not going to do that to his children; especially not with how much Remy liked to call him Merlin. It was part of why he hadn’t put Arthur on his baby name list even though he liked the name. Spencer's free hand came up to rest on his stomach as he tried to rub away the kicking that was starting up. “I don’t really know what I’d pick. It’s, difficult. More difficult than I realized. Hotch warned me, and so did JJ, but I didn’t really realize. So many names I come across inspire certain thoughts. I mean, I love the name Theodore, but I think of it and all I think about is that it’s Ted Bundy’s first name.”

That made Remy wince. “Yeah, I can see how dat would suck. Not exactly something y’ want y’r little one associated with.”

“Exactly. I like Nathaniel, but there’s the serial killer Nathaniel White, who beat and stabbed six women to death in the early 1990’s. I like Cyrus, but then I think of Benjamin Cyrus, who led that cult and who held Emily and I hostage. There are just, I’ve worked with serial killers for years and my brain is so full of all those things. Names of the killers, of their victims. How do I pick a name beyond all that?”

“Y’ can’t let y’rself think of it, Spencer. No, I know, it aint easy.” He added on the last part when he caught sight of the look on Spencer's face. “Y’r memory works against y’ here. But, y’ gotta just find a name that y’ like, one dat y’ enjoy, and even if it’s got a bad tie to it—so what? Y’ take de name and y’ make it y’r own. De babies, dey’re gonna grow up to be deir own people, y’know? Let em build a new legacy fo’ deir names. It aint like dey’re gonna be tainted just because someone else dat has deir name did something horrible.”

He was right. Spencer knew he was absolutely right. For a few moments he stayed quiet and just watched as Remy continued to draw, up onto his arm now. On the inside of Spencer's wrist he had made a heart with little flourishes out of it and was now adding a star next to it, though the two looked slightly connected somehow in a way that Spencer could privately admit looked rather neat.

The silence over the room wasn’t heavy. It was easy and relaxed. Comfortable. It was always comfortable between them. When Spencer broke it, it didn’t feel strange, either. “I like Rebecca. Rebecca Lynn. It’s a pretty, old fashioned name, and Derek hasn’t turned it down yet.”

Remy hummed lightly in the back of his throat. “It’s a pretty one. Strong, too. What about fo’ de boys?”

Not letting himself hesitate or overthink it, Spencer blurted out “Elijah, maybe. Or Gabriel. Derek didn’t seem to protest Elijah, but I’m not sure how he’d like Gabriel. You know his, his issues with the church.” It was why Spencer hadn’t added yet another name to the list that he loved. He kept that one quiet now.

“I like em.” Remy said. “Dey’re good names. Solid names. Ones dey can take and make deir own.” Another star was appearing by the star and heart already there. The three shapes were joined together and yet were also separate. Spencer was fascinated as he watched them form. Remy didn’t make them simple; there were curls and swirls and little flecks of what ended up looking like stardust all around them, and a ribbon that seemed to twist and wind around them and twine the three together, with no beginning or no end in sight. As Spencer watched, Remy put a G in one star, an E in the other, and then an R in the heart.

He looked up at Spencer and smiled, warm and happy, and Spencer fought the little twist in his stomach at the sight of it. It wasn’t anything; just kicking. That’s all that feeling was. Just a kick. Maybe if he told himself that enough, he’d believe it.


	14. Chapter 14

**Month Eight:**

* * *

The end of pregnancy was a miserable thing. Spencer had been on bed rest for the past month with only minimal travel allowed. Now, as he hit thirty two weeks, the earliest date that Hank wanted the babies delivered, and moved into his thirty third week, Hank was trying to restrict his travel even more. He had insisted that Spencer hand over his classes for the rest of his pregnancy. Spencer and Scott had planned for this and Hank was going to be taking over Spencer's morning class while Jean would take his afternoon one. But the original plan had been for delivery and the first few postpartum weeks. Spencer hadn’t thought he’d have to leave work early. How hard was it to teleport to and from class?

Apparently Hank thought it was hard enough. He was restricting Spencer to staying at home with only one travel—one travel equaling a teleport there and back—per day. Not counting bathroom trips. Those were freebies.

Currently, Spencer was lying on his side on the couch in his living room, doing something else that Hank had firmly put on the ‘no’ list—he was arguing.

“No. No, no, no.” Spencer said firmly. His irritation was climbing even higher and he swore he could feel his blood pressure rising. As if in agreement, the babies gave an extra hard few kicks that had him wincing. “Absolutely not, Derek Morgan. I refuse to call our children after a famous musician. I don’t care what you have to say!”

Derek, who was sitting on the nearby love seat, grinned up at him. “C’mon, kid. We gotta figure out names sometime! That’s what you keep telling me.”

With Spencer so close to term, and the babies changing coming any time now, Derek had arranged for time off and come to stay in the city so that he could be close when their children were born. Spencer wasn’t comfortable enough for Derek to sleep _here_ , not to mention the fact that Remy still slept in the guest room, but the man’s hotel wasn’t that far away. He spent most of his days over here trying to help entertain Spencer and keep him from going crazy. They were still awkward with one another, and there was still a world of pain and mistrust between them. They were making it work, though.

It wasn’t just Derek over here entertaining Spencer right now. Since Hank didn’t like to let Spencer move around, he had brought quite a few friends over here to Spencer's place for a nice, relaxed, friendly dinner in his living room. Jean was here, as were Scott, Logan, Remy, and Ororo.

Getting Remy and Derek into the same space had been a bit worrisome for Spencer. He knew the two were still fighting. Whatever had been said between them the last time when Remy had hit him hadn’t cleared the air at all. There was still a tension there that left Spencer apprehensive. But the two didn’t fight. They simply, avoided one another. For now Spencer wasn’t going to press it. He had other things to focus on at the moment.

Like convincing Derek that they were not going to name their children ridiculous things! They’d been debating boys names ever since Derek had arrived for tonight’s dinner and so far they hadn’t managed to settle on any.

Hank’s voice rose over the noise of the room and interrupted Spencer's annoyed thoughts. “Agent Morgan, if you please, quit agitating my patient. He is supposed to be resting and relaxing.”

“I’m just suggesting names!” Derek called out, his eyes twinkling with good humor. He smirked over at Spencer. “Have you heard what he wants to call the boys?”

That had Spencer sitting up just a little. He pushed his elbow against the pillow under him and pushed his upper half up a bit. “Hey! What’s wrong with what I chose? I haven’t exactly heard _you_ offering up any suggestions!”

“What names are you thinking of, Spencer?” Ororo asked him. She came over to join them, setting a glass of water down on the coffee table in front of Spencer before folding herself down to the ground right beside him. One of her hands came up to rub over his arm, gentle pressure urging him to lie back down.

Spencer followed the urging of her hand. Out of them all, Ororo was really the best at making him take care of himself without making him feel smothered by her presence. She was gentle and sweet about her care of him and she made it all seem so natural. “I like the names Gabriel Elijah and Lucien James. Gabe and LJ.” He cast a scowl over towards Derek. “Only _he_ thinks they’re far too biblical.”

“They are! A lot of people associate Lucien with Lucifer, and do you really wanna name both our boys after archangels? Especially _Lucifer_?” Derek asked.

“I like them.” Jean chimed in. She was stirring something at the stove but she had herself turned enough to look Spencer's way. “Lucien is a nice name, and I like that you’ve made it open to be LJ.”

It didn’t surprise him at all that Remy grinned broadly and teasingly called out “I t’ink y’ve been watching too much Supernatural.”

That was one of the shows that the two had binge watched over the duration of Spencer's confinement. Neither one had seen it, but the ratings were good and it was long, quite a few seasons, which had been a definite bonus. They’d needed something that was longer. They’d already worked their way through Leverage—Remy spent the whole time laughing at the cons on the show and explaining to Spencer how poorly everything was done, or how it could be done _right_ —and then a show about a different type of profiler that was called Lie to Me—this time it’d been Spencer's turn to point out all that was done right or wrong with the show—and after that had come Merlin, for the simple sake of Remy wanting to laugh at Spencer's nickname, as well as Prison Break—which the both of them had watched and then immediately planned out how _they_ would’ve broken out of Fox River prison. All of them had been rather short shows, not that many seasons, and they’d moved through those rather quickly. There wasn’t a whole lot else to do when you were trapped in bed or on a couch.

Spencer turned his head enough to shoot a mock scowl over at the Cajun, who was pulling out the TV trays from the tall pantry cupboard in the kitchen. “I am not naming my children after television characters, Remy. I’ve always liked the name Gabriel, even before that show, and the same with Lucien.” He lifted a finger and pointed it at his friend. “And I am not naming them after Knights.”

That got more than a few laughs from their audience. Scott was the one to call out a questioning “Knights?”

“He’s Merlin, aint he?” Remy asked. He brought the TV trays over to the living room and dropped them, rather snottily, Spencer thought, right next to Derek to be set up. He just smirked at the grumpy look Derek gave him and then turned back to the others. “I keep telling him he needs his own Knights of de Round table, _non_? Arthur, Gwaine, Lance, dey’re all great names. And de _petit fille_ can be Guinevere, or Sofia, or Mithian.”

“Did you actually know all the Arthurian legends already, or did you look them up simply to annoy me?” Spencer asked him, arching one eyebrow.

That started an open round of teasing against Remy. Spencer relaxed back into the couch, content to drift along on the laughter and conversation around him and just enjoy the evening for what it was. It felt good to be like this. To be in his own home, with friends here with him. They were missing some friends, sure. It’d be even better if the rest of the BAU could be here. But Spencer knew he’d see them soon enough. They’d all come up once the babies were born. JJ was still planning to come spend a few weeks with him once it was time for the babies to come home. She’d already arranged a two week leave with Aaron that would start the minute the triplets were released from the NICU. She and Spencer had worked it out, too, so that they knew how long JJ would spend her days there, and about the time each night he’d transport her back home. He wasn’t going to let her miss out on time with her own family.

The babies shifted a little and Spencer winced once more at the resulting ache through his back. Before he could even think of what he wanted, another pillow appeared, this one underneath his belly. It helped to lift it and better support the weight, which eased some of the ache in Spencer's back. Once again his powers had responded to his need without him even having to put effort into it. That had happened so much through this pregnancy. It brought home to Spencer just how lucky he was that he worked in a place now that his mutation didn’t have to be hidden. Too many times he’d been talking to the class and had felt a passing thirst only to have a drink appear in his hand without his say-so. His powers responded to his need. Whether it be a footrest for aching feet, a heating pad for his back, or a craving for Dim Sum, his powers answered his needs.

Today it felt kind of like his powers were working in overtime trying to ease him. Despite Spencer's complaints about his enforced rest, he could privately admit that he felt exhausted. Achy and exhausted. He just sort of wanted to sleep, only he couldn’t get comfortable enough to do so. The babies were taking up enough room that sometimes it felt like Spencer was a little out of breath. His backache was getting worse, too, and had been nagging at him more and more today, especially with the Braxton Hicks contractions that still liked to nag at him here and there. Add in the swollen ankles, the heartburn, the headache, and this incessant need to pee every fifteen minutes, and Spencer wasn’t having the best of days.

He didn’t realize that he’d drifted off while listening to everyone until he was being woken up again. A gentle hand on his face drew him up out of slumber. Opening his eyes, he found Remy’s smiling face right above his. The man had come and crouched down in front of the couch, right near Spencer’s head, to wake him up. “Hey, cher. We would’ve let y’ sleep, _mais_ Henri wants y’ to come eat a little. Y’ feel up fo’ it?”

“I’m fine.” Spencer said automatically. He caught the look Remy was giving him and grimaced a little. “I am fine.” His voice was a little lower this time, a bit more private. “Sore and tired, but okay. Help me up?” This was the time of day that he had approval from Hank to sit up. With Remy’s careful assistance, Spencer leveraged himself up. He’d given up weeks ago on doing anything like this without any sort of assistance. He’d mostly given up on being embarrassed about it, too. His cheeks still got a little warm with his blush, but he didn’t protest and didn’t try to hide. He just let Remy help draw him upwards and then get him tucked and settled down into the corner of the couch.

The others had spread themselves around the living room as well by now and Spencer saw that all the TV trays were loaded down with food. It still sort of amazed him that they were all willing to be here, eating off TV trays in his living room instead of comfortably at their own home. This wasn’t exactly the best dinner party. Yet all of them seemed happy to be here. Well, most all. Derek didn’t exactly look at that pleased at the moment as he watched Remy settle the TV tray next to Spencer and then move to curl up right next to him on the couch. Spencer wondered about the look on Derek’s face for a moment before deciding that it didn’t really matter. He looked down at his food and then back up at his friends. “This looks delicious everyone, thank you so much.”

“Absolutely, Spencer.” Jean said immediately. She graced him with one of those warm smiles of hers that always came off a bit maternal.

His friends had made what looked to be a delicious Chinese dinner of Lo Mein and some orange chicken. Chinese food had been one of Spencer's biggest cravings through this pregnancy. It looked and smelled good enough actually entice him into picking up his fork to eat a little. But, despite the conversation that flowed around him, he didn’t join in. Not even Derek’s attempts to draw him out worked. Spencer just focused on his food, trying to ignore the ache in his back that was steadily growing the longer he was up. Dammit, he just wanted to get through one meal, that was all. Just one meal without aching so bad he had to lie back down. Or without one of these stupid Braxton Hicks contractions taunting him.

He didn’t stop to think about how much his topsy-turvy emotions might be affecting anyone around him. Most notably the slightly empathic man sitting at his side. Though Remy tried to deny any sense of empathy, Spencer knew that Remy’s charm was empathy based and that it also granted him a small sense of people’s emotions. He picked up easily on the mood of the room around him whether he would admit to it or not. If he wasn’t careful, it could influence him, too, and in turn his own emotions could get stronger and radiate out to those around him. They’d talked about it before—argued, really, because Remy would readily admit to the charm but not that it was any sort of empathic ability.

But Spencer wasn’t thinking about that now. He was uncomfortable and sore and just a bit irritable the longer that dinner went on and he didn’t realize just how much of that Remy was picking up on. Not until it sort of exploded out of the Cajun, surprising everyone.

It started out innocent enough. All Scott did was gesture towards the coffee table right by Remy and ask “Remy, could you hand me the salt?”

Spencer was surprised when he heard Remy’s slightly grumbled “Get it y’rself.”

Everyone sort of paused then and looked up at Remy. One of Scott’s eyebrows arched up over his sunglasses. “Excuse me?”

“What, y’ need y’r ears cleaned?” Remy snapped. “I said, get it y’rself. I aint y’r slave.”

“Little cranky tonight, Cajun?” Logan drawled out slowly.

Turning, Spencer watched as temper snapped over Remy’s face, surprising him even more. Usually the Cajun was pretty laid back with their friends. He didn’t get irritated over simple things like this. But Remy was irritated now. He pushed his tray aside just a bit and practically snarled out a low “ _Fine_.” Leaning forward, he grabbed the salt off the coffee table, and before Spencer could speak out against what he could see was about to happen, the salt was charged and flung across the room to where Scott was sitting. “Here, have de damn salt!”

The only thing that saved Scott, and Spencer's family room, from being entirely covered in salt was that Spencer's powers reacted immediately. He wrapped the charged container in a bubble of power and contained the blast. A blue orb hung just a foot away from Scott, now full of broken porcelain from the salt canister, and an entire thing of salt.

The whole room stared at the orb for a single moment before all their eyes turned to a stunned looking Remy. Then, to Spencer's surprise, those eyes turned to him.

He vanished the salt over to his garbage can. Then, as realization sank in and embarrassment filled him, he dropped his head down. Damn. Damn, damn, damn. He hadn’t realized that his bad mood was showing that much for Remy to pick up on it that way.

He was surprised by the low laugh that broke the silence. Looking up, he found Logan grinning from where he sat over in the recliner. “Feeling a little pissy there, pup?” The feral teased him easily.

“I think it’s safe to say someone’s channeling your mood.” Hank said. He looked to Remy, who didn’t even bother looking sheepish about his little explosion, and then he turned back to Spencer. “I must admit, this is a far more accurate way to gauge your mood. You’re far too talented at hiding your emotions. However, there is no hiding them from an empath.”

“Remy aint no empath!” came the immediate protest from Remy.

“Try that argument again when you have not just channeled Spencer's emotions and thrown something at Scott.” Ororo said, patting Remy’s leg.

Remy’s scowl looked more like a pout. “Maybe Remy _likes_ throwing t’ings at Scotty.”

“Not surprising.” Derek chimed in. His tone was teasing, with just a shade of something else, something a bit sharper than normal. “You’ve always had a temper.”

Before Remy could turn around to respond, his scowl only deepening, Spencer pushed out at him and drew his attention. “Be nice. And no more charging things in the house. I don’t need to clean up your messes.”

Everything about Remy softened. His scowl faded away and his expression smoothed out into something else, something Spencer couldn’t—wouldn’t—place. “ _Je suis désolé, mon ami._ Y’ know Remy’d clean up his own mess.”

Spencer would’ve responded, but the ache in his back grew a little more and one of those stupid, annoying false contractions pulsed through his stomach. Only this time, even as he breathed through the contraction, hoping that it would pass just the same as the others, he felt something else entirely that had him freezing in place. Something that he hadn’t expected to feel at all. Spencer went completely still as the contraction gave way and he knew his expression was one of stunned shock. Beside him, Remy was still as well, his whole focus on the pregnant man. “Spencer?”

Already, Hank was pushing up out of his chair, making his way towards Spencer. The shock was still bright on Spencer's face as he looked up at his friend and doctor. “My…my water broke.”

The whole house went utterly silent at those words. The only person that was moving was Hank. He came forward without hesitation and crouched down right in front of Spencer, one hand going to rest against his stomach. He looked up at Spencer's eyes and the calm look he wore was just what Spencer needed to be able to keep a lid on his own emotions. “All right, Spencer. We’ve planned for this.” The man said calmly. “How bad are the contractions?”

“I just thought they were more Braxton Hicks.” Spencer said slowly.

Hank nodded. “That’s common in male pregnancies. The signs of delivery are not as easy to detect. However, if your water’s broken, there is no stopping this. No holding it back. Do you feel up to riding in the car to the hospital or do you feel you need to get there now?”

That right there was one of the things that Spencer loved about Hank. The man understood that no one was going to know Spencer's body better than himself and he trusted Spencer to not make stupid decisions when it came to the health of his children. When he asked questions like this, he actually meant it and truly wanted the answer.

But his question also seemed to have broken the silence that had fallen over the room. All of a sudden it was like everyone came back to life. “I’ll get the car.” Logan said, shoving up to his feet in one quick move. Ororo and Jean were rising as well, and Scott was handing out orders like he owned the place. “Jean, Ororo, would you start gathering up dinner, get it boxed away so it doesn’t go bad while we’re gone? Agent Morgan, you should get Spencer's hospital bag. Remy…”

“Your water broke?” Derek said, sounding stunned. He was standing there just staring at Spencer with open shock. “How the hell is that…I mean, how is that possible?”

Logan gave him a look that clearly showed just how much of an idiot he thought the man was. “You wanna get a less in male carrier anatomy or you wanna maybe help out so your kids can get born safely, bub? Shut up an go get his bag. It’s the red one on the table in the nursery. Move!”

Spencer blocked the noise from all of them out and just focused on Hanks’s face. “I can’t be in labor yet.” He said it slowly, beseechingly. “I wanted to make it further. I wanted them to get more of a chance. I, I’m not ready for this, Hank!” A wave of panic washed over Spencer and he reached out, not even thinking, just reacting. His hand caught Remy’s and he curled his fingers there in a tight grip. Remy held on just as tightly, bringing his other hand up to curl around Spencer's so that his hand was cupped between both of Remy’s.

“You’re going to be fine.” Hank reassured him. He rubbed his hand briefly over Spencer's stomach, one of the few people who could get away with that gesture without setting off Spencer's temper, and he smiled at him. “We’ve planned for this and prepared for it. We’re ready.”

“Y’ can do it, cher.” Remy said. He drew Spencer's hand up and pressed a soft kiss against his knuckles.

Spencer drew in a shaky breath and blew it back out slowly and carefully. Then he made himself straighten up a little. “Okay.” He said, his voice shaking only slightly. “Okay.”

Between one breath and the next, the three people connected at the couch vanished. Spencer, Remy and Hank all disappeared.

Scott didn’t even twitch at the disappearance. He just continued to gather up the dishes while the girls put the food away. By the time Derek came racing back downstairs with Spencer's go-bag in hand, and a panicked look on his face, the others were ready to go and Logan already had the car pulled out of the garage and waiting for them out front. Derek took one look around the room and his panic grew a little. “Where’s Spencer?”

“He zapped himself, Hank and Remy to the hospital.” Scott said. He shut off the kitchen light and ushered the others forward and towards the front door. “We’ll meet them at the hospital. Let’s move, Agent. You can panic and make your phone calls in the car. Right now, let’s get to the hospital.”

* * *

For as quick as they hurried to get there, they really could’ve taken their time. When they arrived at the hospital they found Remy sitting in the waiting room by himself. He looked up at their entrance and didn’t even wait for questions before he told them what was going on. “Dey got him back dere all set up an dey’re giving him a quick look-over first. Henri says de _bébés_ are doing fine right now an dey’ll be getting dem out as soon as dey can. If everyt’ing goes right, dey should be here within de hour, round about.”

“How’s the pup?” Logan asked, cutting off Derek who’d been about to ask almost the same question.

Remy pushed his hair back from his face and gave them a smile that was a mix of proud and frazzled. “He’s doing great. He’s gonna be lucky he don’t get himself kicked outa here, though.” A low laugh shook him. “One of de nurses tried suggesting dat maybe he aint actually in labor yet, dat dey’re just dem Braxton Hicks contractions. Spencer offered to ship her his soaking wet couch cushion from where his water broke if she weren’t willing to take de word of _two_ doctors dat he really was in labor. When she tried to argue it a bit, he reached out an touched her arm and sent her away somewhere. He wouldn’t tell us where. Just said she was somewhere she wouldn’t drive him crazy no more.”

That set them all laughing. Derek looked at him with a bit of shock, not quite able to reconcile this image of his ex-husband with the one that he’d had for years now. The Spencer he knew wasn’t that snarky and he definitely didn’t snap like that at people. He was one of the most patient people he knew. Then again, he imagined that labor could make anyone ‘cranky’. He’d heard stories from his Mama plenty of times about the things she’d said or done to his Dad when she was in labor. They were the kind of stories that she laughed over.

“I got a hold of the team.” Derek told Remy as he sat down. “Garcia was going to get them on a flight out as quick as she could, so she said give them about two hours and they should be here. Three at the most.”

Remy slanted a look his way and gave a small nod. “An y’r Mama?”

“Was calling the airport as soon as we hung up.”

“ _Bien._ Spencer wants her here, I know. Frannie offered to stay with him just like JJ did. He’s really lookin’ forward to de time with her.”

That had Derek looking at him with surprise. He hadn’t known that his mother had offered to stay with Spencer once the babies were born. It was just like her, though. He should’ve figured she’d want to stay with her grandchildren.

Ororo took the seat beside Remy, one hand coming out to curl around his thigh. “How are you doing, brother?”

He looked up at her and gave her a small smile. “Remy’s fine, cher.” Reaching out, he curled an arm around her and pulled her in so that he could press a kiss against her hair. “Remy’s always fine.”

A quiet settled down over the waiting room as the five people there all waited for news.

* * *

It felt like the minutes crawled by as they waited there. Never had time seemed to pass so slowly for Remy before. Despite what people thought, he could be patient when the need called for it. He’d never have made it as a thief if he couldn’t. That required quite a lot of patience. But this? This had to be one of the hardest things he’d ever waited for. It felt wrong to just be sitting out here while he knew that Spencer was back there somewhere, hurting and probably a little scared. The young genius hadn’t wanted Remy to leave him there. It’d taken the staff doctor and Hank both to convince them that Remy needed to be out here, that it was safer for the triplets to be born into a controlled and sterile setting.

Remy sat in his chair and waited, watching the minutes on the clock tick by. He drew his legs up and tucked his heels on the chair and then folded his arms on top of his knees. Resting his chin on his arms, he stared down to the doors at the end of the hall, the doors that led to Spencer, and he watched them and the clock right by them on the wall. Five minutes passed. Then fifteen. Thirty. Sixty.

Two hours and twenty minutes had passed since Remy first settled down in the waiting room before finally he saw a familiar shape through the windows on the door. Immediately Remy sat up straight, and those around him did the same, catching sight of his movement. All of them were looking as Hank came out the doors. The smile that he wore had Remy slumping down in his seat a little. Spencer was okay. Spencer and the babies were all okay. If they weren’t, there’s no way Hank would be looking at them like that. _They were okay._

Those were the first words that Hank said. “They’re okay.” He smiled at the whole group and then settled his gaze on both Remy and Derek, who were tucked into the same corner of the waiting room. His words were directed to Derek, who by all rights deserved the news, but his eyes kept flicking towards Remy in a way that made sure to include him too. “All three were born extremely healthy. Far healthier than we expected. Like I told Spencer, I firmly believe his powers helped with that, keeping the children far safer than they might’ve otherwise been. Despite his pregnancy discomfort, his powers reacted many times to his needs by providing him what he needed without him making the conscious decision to get it. I believe that it did the same in other ways.” His smile grew wider and he focused directly on Derek now. “Your children are very healthy, Agent Morgan, and Spencer is recovering well. They’re currently being checked out down in the NICU just to make sure that everything is all right, but as soon as they’re done we’ll be able to bring you all down to the viewing window so that you may see them, and we’ll see about getting you in there to hold them.”

The look on Derek’s face could only be described as stunned awe. There was a sheen of tears in his eyes and a smile bright on his face. For a moment, the tension between Derek and Remy fell away and the Cajun reached out, clapping a hand on Derek’s shoulder. They shared a grin, a thousand things spoken between them in that moment before Remy dropped his hand and looked back up at Hank.

“How’s Spencer?” Ororo asked him.

“Healthy.” Hank said immediately. “He did very well. He spent a bit of time in recovery until we were sure he was stable and then we moved him to his private room. He’s tired, but he’s eager to see the children and refuses to rest until he gets that chance. When a child is born premature like this, the mother, or carrier, often only gets a small glimpse before the children are taken to be checked. Spencer's eagerly and impatiently waiting for his chance to hold them. When I left, he was sitting up in bed, worried and waiting, but otherwise all right.” Turning his head, Hank looked briefly to Derek and then settled his gaze on Remy. “He’s asking to see you. If you come with me, I’ll take you back to his room and you can wait with him. Once I get you settled in there, I’ll be back for the rest of you to see about getting you down to the viewing window.”

There was no hesitation on Remy’s part. He made as if to rise, only to be stopped by Derek’s hand being held out in his direction. “Wait a second…” The profiler said. Slowly, he rose to his feet, eyes on Hank. “He asked for _Remy_?”

Hank, like everyone else, could easily see the tension in the profiler. He knew how much this had to upset him. But his patient had asked for one person and one person only. “Yes, he did.”

“ _Why_?”

The single incredulous word was enough to push at Remy’s temper. Despite the peace he and Derek had shared a moment ago, there was still a part of Remy that was angry with Derek for everything, angry with him for hurting Spencer. He knew he really shouldn’t be so upset about it. It wasn’t his marriage or anything like that and Spencer certainly wasn’t his to defend. But, Spencer was so damn forgiving, and Remy had been there for the moments that showed him just how badly the young genius really was hurting, and he couldn’t help how angry he got on his behalf. Just barely did he manage to keep a stranglehold on his temper now, irrational as it may be. Calm as he could manage, he unfolded himself from the uncomfortable chair and pushed himself up to his feet. “Don’t matter why. Y’ take me to him, Henri?”

If he hoped to get away before any sort of argument was started, his hopes proved futile. Derek wasn’t so easily put off. Hours of worrying and waiting hadn’t done his patience or temper any good. Then to have Hank come out and let him know that Spencer had asked for Remy— _Remy, of all people!—_ was just enough of a spark to set the fire blazing. Months of worry and guilt and regret and all of that just boiled up in him and had the profiler speaking to a friend in a way he never would’ve dared before. “Why are you even here?” He demanded of Remy. “You didn’t even know Spencer until I introduced you two. Now you’re here, stepping in on _my_ family? You shouldn’t even be here. Why don’t you go home, Remy. You don’t belong here. Spencer doesn’t need you.”

What little control Remy had left was gone with those words. Everyone could see it. No one dared to get in his way as he spun himself to stand right in front of Derek and glare at him. “Don’t y’ start with me, Derek Morgan.” Remy snapped at him. Months of temper came pouring past his lips unchecked. “Who’s de one dat’s been dere, huh? Who’s de one dat held his hair when he was puking? Who helped push food on him until de nausea faded away? Who went to every single appointment with him? Who helped him shop fo’ baby clothes? Who held him t’rough de panic attacks and reassured him dat he was gonna be a fine Papa? Who listened to nonstop lectures on pregnancy and childcare and all de statistics dat go along with dat? Who was dere when he cried after de first time de _bébé_ kicked? It sure as hell wasn’t y’! So don’t y’ go preachin’ at me about who belongs here and who don’t.”

“So that’s what this is, huh?” Temper was always Derek’s downfall. It curled his lip now as he glared at Remy. “You just, what, swept right on in when Spencer was at his most vulnerable and snatched him up, is that it? How long you been wanting to take him from me, Remy?”

Derek never saw the fist coming until it laid him out on the floor. He stared up at the man he’d called friend, blood dripping from his mouth, and saw pure fury on Remy’s face. “It aint takin’ from y’ when y’ fuckin’ threw him away.” The Cajun snarled out. His whole body was vibrating now with his anger. “An he aint some damn toy y’ can set down an pick back up when de mood suits y’. He’s a human being wit’ a huge ol’ heart dat y’ fuckin’ shattered an left fo’ others to pick up de pieces. Y’ aint got no one to blame but y’rself fo’ dat. Y’ didn’t cherish him like de treasure he is. Don’t go getting pissy with me cause I do.” That said, he spun on his heel and marched away, not trusting himself to stand there any longer. If he did there was no telling what he might end up doing.

Silent, Hank moved beside him, steering him in the direction of Spencer's room.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, s’il vous plait, keep in mind that I’ve no idea what the NICU looks like at this particular hospital. So, I’m basing the NICU here off the hospital that my cousin went to when she had her triplets, d’accord?

The hospital room felt so damn empty compared to the chaos that Spencer felt like he’d been in earlier. Where there’d been doctors and nurses and a whole medical team before, now he was simply sitting here alone in his hospital bed, waiting for news on his children, his gorgeous little babies he’d only had the chance to _glimpse_ before they were taken away from him. That one little image he’d had of each of them was the only thing he was holding on to now.

Spencer had panicked once his children were gone. He couldn’t help it. Even knowing that they were currently okay and in the hands of a wonderful team of doctors, getting checked out and everything else, he still panicked. Every part of him, mind, body and powers, were screaming at him to get them back, to bring them back to him. He’d had to endure lying there while he was closed up and then taken back to recovery, where he was kept alone while his body rested, and all the while his heart was aching for more than just that small glimpse he’d been given.

Two hours later he was finally brought into his own room. When Hank asked him if he wanted anyone brought back there, there’d been no thought at all. He’d just blurted out the name of the one person he wanted more than anyone else except his children in that moment. The only person he wanted to see.

The door to his room opened and Spencer's heart clenched as that familiar face came round the corner. Remy looked in as if checking that this was the room he was supposed to be in. When he saw Spencer, the first thing he did was smile, this big crinkly smile that made laugh lines on his face and wrinkled the corners of his eyes—eyes that weren’t sheltered by sunglasses for once. Then, as he took in the expression on Spencer's face, the obvious panic that was written all over him, his smile dropped and he was moving quickly into the room.

It felt completely natural to lean in when Remy scooped him up into a hug. He had to twist a bit to be careful of the IV, and because his lower half was still somewhat numb, but it was so easy to just let himself be folded into Remy’s arm. Spencer curled up there and pressed his face in against Remy’s jacket and wondered when this had become the place that felt like safety to him. When had he started to look to Remy to be his rock? He’d been so sure he wasn’t going to lean on anyone after his marriage broke. He’d been positive that he would stand on his own and make it through all of this. When had he given up on that and let himself lean on his friend? And when had he become so sure that he could do so and know that Remy would never let him fall?

Spencer closed his eyes and blew out a slightly shaky breath. “Did Hank say anything?”

He didn’t have to clarify about what. Remy knew what he was talking about. One of his hands stroked over Spencer's hair in a soothing gesture. “He said dey were fine.” Remy reassured him. “Dat dey were healthy and dat we’d get to see dem soon.”

Good. That was good. That was what Spencer needed. He needed it like he needed air. After carrying them inside of him for so long, he felt so empty inside and that emptiness was only going to be filled when he got his children in his arms.

It took a few minutes for him to get his breathing under control. Not once did Remy pull away in that time. He just held Spencer and stroked his hair and let him gather his composure. When Spencer finally felt like he could breathe again, Remy helped him to lay back against the bed again. It was elevated enough that Spencer could easily look at Remy, who moved to perch on the bed right by Spencer's hip. “Has anyone called the team?” Spencer asked.

Remy nodded at him. “ _Oui_ , Derek did. From what he said, dey should be here any minute. Frannie shouldn’t be too far off, either.”

“Good, that’s good. They should be here.”

Reaching out, Remy caught Spencer's hand in his, threading their fingers together. His eyes were serious as they locked on Spencer's, conveying a strength he knew that Spencer didn’t feel at the moment. “It’s gonna be fine, Spencer. De _bébés_ are fine.”

Spencer chewed on the inside of his lip as his brain once more flashed over that brief image of his children. “I’m scared, Rem. I need them to be okay. They…they were so small. They only let me see them for a second. Just a quick second and they were gone. I didn’t even get to hold them. I just, I just want to see them.” Against his will, Spencer found a tear slipping free, burning a trail down his cheek. “Everyone’s going to get to go to the NICU window and see them and I can’t, I haven’t even…”

His words were choked off and he couldn’t go on. But he didn’t have to. Remy leaned in and Spencer found himself gently wrapped up in the man’s arms again. Spencer buried his face in against Remy’s jacket once more and stopped trying to hold back the tears as Remy cradled him and rubbed soothingly against his back. “We’ll get y’ dere, Spencer. Y’ know Henri’s gonna make damn sure y’ get down dere as quickly as possible. Y’ll get to see em soon enough, I promise. Even if I gotta wheel y’ down dere myself, I’ll make sure y’ see dem.”

A watery sounding chuckle escaped Spencer. He could picture Remy doing just that. Just pushing Spencer out of the room, bed and all, and taking him down to the NICU. The man would do it if he had to. He always kept his promises, no matter what it took. “You might not have to.” Spencer mumbled against his jacket. He brought one shaky hand up and wiped it over his face, discreetly trying to wipe away the tears. “My powers are almost quivering inside of me. If I wasn’t holding it down tightly, I think they’d take me down there whether anyone liked it or not.”

Neither one got a chance to carry out their threats. The door to Spencer's room opened and they looked up at the same time to watch as Hank came walking in. The bright smile the man wore almost instantly set Spencer at ease. Whatever he had to say had to be good if he was looking at Spencer like that! “Congratulations, Spencer.” Hank told him warmly. He came right up to Spencer's beside and reached out to clap a gentle hand against his shoulder. “Your children are doing fantastically. Better than any newborn triplets this hospital has ever seen.”

“They’re okay.” Spencer breathed the words out with a huge feeling of relief. The children were all right.

Hank’s smile grew a little. “They are, as I told you they would be. I’ve come to see if you might like to go and see them.”

* * *

It took some figuring out and a bit of work to get Spencer into the wheelchair that would take him down to their room. Despite his insistence that he was fine, he’d still technically gone through major surgery here and his body needed a chance to recover. His epidural still hadn’t completely worn off, though he had a good chunk of feeling back now. But this was far too important to put off for any reason at all. Spencer didn’t care what it took. He was going to go see his children.

Finally, after what seemed like far too long, Spencer was set as comfortably as can be in his chair, with plenty of blankets tucked around him to be warm, and Remy was wheeling him down to the NICU with Hank leading the way.

None of what Spencer saw around him mattered. He didn’t care about the halls they passed or the rooms they went into or anything like that. He didn’t even care about the great big window on the room they went into, with all of his friends standing on the other side. There was only a moment that he gave any sort of thought to seeing all of them standing there, just an absent acknowledgement of them and how many were there. Per Spencer's request, there was one other person in the room. He’d planned a while ago with Hank and the hospital staff here to allow Derek into the room when Spencer came to hold the kids. This was a moment he wouldn’t dream of denying the man. The thought never even occurred to him. These were Derek’s children too. Starting now, they were a family, whether they liked it or not. Derek had every right to be here.

When they got into the room, both Hank and Remy helped to move Spencer from the wheelchair to what looked like a lounge chair of some sort. Spencer still didn’t care. His eyes were locked on the far door that was opening and the small little beds that were being wheeled inside. Spencer caught hold of Remy’s hand as the man was straightening out his blanket and he gripped tightly. Immediately, Remy turned his hand and threaded their fingers together, giving Spencer a better grip. “Here dey come, cher.” Remy murmured to him. The beds got closer and the Cajun let out a soft, happy sound. “Oh. _Oh_ , would y’ look at dem. Dey’re beautiful, Merlin. Absolutely beautiful.”

Remy was right—they were beautiful. It was the only thing Spencer could think of as the beds were wheeled right up beside him and he got a chance to look down at his children.

They were like little spitting images of Derek as a baby. Every baby picture Fran had showed him came to mind as Spencer looked down at them. They looked just like a young Derek—the same skin color, the same features, even the same little fuzz of black hair on their heads. They were the spitting image of him, right up until they opened their eyes. Baby A did it first, when the nurse lifted him up and carefully brought him to Spencer's arms. The tiny little bundle was gently settled into the crook of Spencer's arm, so damn _small_ , and Spencer looked down at him only to find that his eyes had opened. What he saw had him sucking in a breath. Instead of the dark color he’d expected to see, they weren’t brown or green or any normal color. His irises were like a vortex of colors, a whole rainbow swirling round in there. It was gorgeous. Spencer stared at them and it felt to him like he was looking down through their eyes into the ‘magic’ within. Like a window to a magic that mirrored the one he carried inside of himself.

Spencer looked up and found both Remy and Derek there looking down. “Derek…”

“I saw.” The profiler murmured. He was currently being handed a different bundle and there was open awe written all over his face as well as an overwhelming amount of love. “They’re all like that, Spencer. Their eyes…they’re beautiful.”

“Very beautiful.” The nurse said. She was smiling at them and was holding the last of the triplets, their little girl wrapped up in her pink blanket. “Your children are going to have gorgeous and unique eyes, Dr. Reid.” She brought her over and, with a bit of careful maneuvering, Spencer now had a baby in each arm. He couldn’t believe that he was holding them! They were here, finally here! These tiny little amazing beings had been inside of him for so long and now they were here and he was holding them. The emptiness he’d been feeling since delivery faded away with the tiny weight that was settling into his arms. He wished he had another arm in that moment so that he could hold the other child as well, all three of them at once. He wanted to gather the three of them up and never let them go.

Remy was leaning over the back of the chair, one hand on Spencer's shoulder as he looked down with him. The nurse smiled at the three men. “The babies are doing fine, as I’m sure Dr. McCoy told you. We’re kind of surprised with how well they’re doing. All their tests came back great. Unlike most preemies, they don’t need any help breathing, though we might have to work with them a little to get them to learn how to suck. But so far these little guys are doing great. They’re the talk of the nursery today. They even came out at a great size for how early they are. Baby A is five pounds, four ounces. Baby B is five pounds one ounce. And your little girl over here is five pounds three ounces. ”

“Look at them, baby boy. Look what we made.” Derek murmured. He turned himself just enough to tilt his arms and show the baby off, showing them to those looking in through the window. Spencer broke his gaze off the two in his arms long enough to beam up at their friends and family. For the first time he gave true notice to how many were there.

Everyone had showed up. In the time that Spencer had been back in recovery, it looked like everyone had arrived. He saw Scott, Jean and Ororo were still there, and they’d been joined by Derek’s family—Fran, Sarah and Desiree—as well as the BAU family. Aaron, Dave, Emily, Penelope, JJ—even Will and Henry were there. Will had Henry up on his hip and the little boy was smiling and waving brightly to the baby that Derek was holding.

As much as Spencer wanted to hold them and never stop, his body wasn’t entirely happy with the setup and it was reminding him just how tired he was. He hated to do it, hated the idea of letting them go or putting them back into those little beds. Remy saved him from having to, though. The Cajun must’ve seen that Spencer was getting tired because he slipped around the side of the chair and one of his hands slid to brace under the little boy that sat in Spencer's left arm. At Spencer's look, he simply said “May I?”

“Of course.”

With a bit of help, Remy got the little boy up and in his arms, and the little girl was shifted so that Spencer could better hold her without feeling as tired as before.

Something inside of Spencer's chest tightened a little as he watched Remy carefully cradle the tiny little boy in his arms. It was like his heart clenched and then a piece that had been out of place, a piece he hadn’t even known was wrong, just clicked into place. As Spencer looked at Remy, watched him sway a little and beam at the little boy like he was just the greatest thing in the world, like he was one of the _only_ things in Remy’s world, all Spencer could think was _God, I love this man_.

The realization was like a slap to the face, or a jolt of lightning. Something huge and shocking, yet at the same time it was kind of like this voice inside him saying _oh, yes, of course, absolutely, always._ Like it was the most normal and natural thing in his world. Yes, _of course_ he loved Remy. How could he not? How could he feel anything but love for this amazing man who had stood beside him every single step of the way through this whole insane pregnancy? Remy had been there from the moment Spencer ran away from a broken marriage. He’d helped Spencer pick up the pieces of his life, his _heart_ , and he’d helped him to put them all back together. Was it any wonder that he’d become a part of it all in the process? It was like he’d sewn spencer back together using pieces of himself. There wasn’t a part of Spencer's life that Remy wasn’t a part of. He was there, always there, always with him. No matter what happened, Remy was there, and despite Spencer's insistence that he wasn’t going to lean on anyone or trust anyone, he trusted Remy more than he’d ever trusted anyone.

It was stunning and amazing and so many adjectives that Spencer's brain couldn’t even begin to wrap around all of them. He just sat there, staring at the man as this all washed over him, and he was terrified in that single instant because this man, this amazing person who was holding Spencer's son so carefully and so lovingly, had become so much a part of him without him ever even realizing it. Spencer knew that he’d barely survived what had happened between him and Derek; if it hadn’t been for the babies, there was a high chance that Spencer could’ve easily sunk into the depression that had gripped him then. He could’ve turned bitter and alone and scared of ever trusting anyone. The babies had kept him from that—the babies and Remy. And now he was here and he couldn’t deny, couldn’t pretend anymore that what he felt inside as he looked at Remy’s smiling face was anything but love, and it scared him. Would he survive if he told Remy how he felt and things went wrong? Could he risk it?

Then Remy tipped his head and looked up at him with that big smile, those wrinkles appearing at his eyes again from how big his smile was, and Spencer knew it was already too late, he was already too far gone to turn back. Remy had wormed his way into Spencer's life through this pregnancy. Even if Spencer tried to run now, it wouldn’t matter.

Whatever was on Spencer's face had Remy pausing from whatever he’d been about to say. A furrow built in his forehead as he cocked his head to the side and looked at Spencer curiously, like some puzzle he was trying to figure out.

Spencer was saved from answering whatever question was building on Remy’s lips. The nurse, whom he’d forgotten about until then, suddenly asked them “Have you guys decided on any names yet? We can get it put on their bracelets for you so there won’t be any sort of mix ups happening.”

It took a second for Spencer's brain to kick back on, to work out of this insane revelation he’d just had and to move back to the real world, back to _this_. In the time it took him, though, Derek spoke up, stunning him completely. “We have.” He said. Smiling, he turned and met Spencer's eyes. The look was marred slightly by the split on his bottom lip and the swelling to his face—he’d been hit? Who the hell had hit him?—but it didn’t keep him from beaming. “Once again, kid, you were right. I should’ve trusted your choices. They just…fit. This little guy here, this is Lucien James. Our little LJ.”

A smile started to curve Spencer's lips. “This is Rebecca Lynn.”

“Which makes this guy,” Derek turned to Remy, brushing their shoulders together as he looked at his other son. “Gabriel Elijah.”

“Derek…” Emotion choked Spencer's voice and he couldn’t get out any more than that croaked out version of his name. He couldn’t believe that Derek was choosing those names, agreeing with them, after all that he’d said against them.

Smiling, Derek moved towards him. Then, in a move that Spencer hadn’t been expecting at all, he bent down and pressed a kiss against the top of Spencer's head before squatting down beside him. “We did good here, baby boy.” Looking down at his daughter— _their daughter—_ Derek smiled. “We did good.”

* * *

Sadly, no matter how well the children were doing, they had to stay in the NICU when Spencer went back to his room. And it didn’t take much longer before Hank insisted that Spencer go back to bed. “In all honesty, your children are faring better than you, Dr. Reid.” Hank told him firmly. “Now, you can have visitors, but I want you in bed and _resting_.”

Like visiting with everyone was restful. Spencer wasn’t fond of being in crowds on the average day. More sore and exhausted than he wanted to admit, today definitely wasn’t the average day.

However, he sat there in his bed and greeted each member of his family as they came in. He hugged everyone and listened to all their praise over the ‘beautiful babies’. He looked at the photos they’d all taken and listened to the chatter while all the while he wanted absolutely nothing more than to just curl up in his bed and fall asleep, or drag himself back down to the nursery where his babies were sleeping _without him._ Maybe it was selfish, maybe it was stupid, but he wanted to either just be with his kids or be alone. Spencer knew he should be happy and celebrating with everyone. That’s what normal parents did, right? They chatted and celebrated and laughed and cried. Spencer just didn’t have enough energy to care about trying to be normal.

It was Fran who noticed how out of sorts he was. Even in a room full of profilers, people whose job it was to read body language, she was the one who caught on first to just how tired Spencer was and how alone he wanted to be.

“All right, everyone.” Fran called out, clapping her hands to get the attention of the room. She stood right beside Spencer's bed and smiled at everyone as they all turned to look at her. “I know we’re all excited to be here and I know it’s been a great day, but I think it’s time we leave Spencer to get a little bit of rest. So why don’t we all gather up our things and we can go take care of checking into motels and things like that? Spencer and the babies will be here tomorrow, I promise, and we can all come visit then.”

In short order Fran had everyone gathering up their things and, after brief hugs and promises to return, she was ushering them out one by one, Remy included. At a different time Spencer might’ve protested the removal of _everyone._ There was a part of him that kind of wanted to ask Remy to stay. But the bigger part of him, the part still reeling from his earlier epiphany, kept him quiet as Remy hugged him and promised to be in bright and early tomorrow.

Soon, the only person left behind was Logan, and Spencer didn’t even think about it before he grabbed the feral’s hand and held on, keeping him by his side. Logan immediately stopped and turned back to him. “Will you…” Spencer paused and hesitated only briefly before he managed to say “Will you stay? Just until I fall asleep?”

“Course I will.”

Logan used one foot to hook a nearby chair and haul it over to Spencer's bedside. He dropped down into it, never loosening his hold on Spencer's hand the entire time. Bright blue eyes focused right on Spencer and there was warmth and affection both in that gaze as well as something that looked like pride. It was a look that Spencer liked to think a father would’ve given their son in a moment like this. It was one he wished his father would’ve wanted to be here to give to him. “Thanks, Logan.”

“Aint the first time I’ve sat with you till you went to sleep.” Logan pointed out. “Won’t be the last, either. I know you’re not fond of these places anyways. You just close your eyes, pup, an get some sleep. I’ll stand watch.”

“Just until I fall asleep. You don’t, you don’t have to stay after.”

“Shut up.”

Spencer snapped his mouth shut, which earned him an amused look from the feral.

The room went quiet after that. Spencer lay there with his hand in Logan’s, trying to relax, letting the man’s familiar presence and the gentle stroke of that calloused thumb over the back of his hand soothe him down towards sleep. He was mostly there, his eyes heavy, when he spoke again. “They’re beautiful, aren’t they, Logan?” The words were thick and slightly slurred with sleep.

He heard a low rumble that might’ve been a chuckle. “Yeah, kid, they are.”

“Do you think they’ll like me?” It was a silly question, one he wouldn’t have typically voice out loud, but sleep and medication were making him just slightly loopy, his mind hovering on the edge of passing out.

This time the sound he heard was definitely a chuckle. One of Logan’s low, rumbly laughs that sounded kind of like a growl sometimes. “Of course they’re gonna like you. You’re their parent, pup. They’ll love you. Now, shut up and go to sleep.”

That sounded like good advice. With a soft sigh, Spencer gave up the fight and just let his body drift off into the dark.


	16. Chapter 16

Becoming a parent was a feeling like nothing else Derek had ever known. He had never thought he could feel as much love as he did each time he looked down at the tiny little bundles that Spencer had brought into the world. Was there anything more amazing? He swore he spent so much time just looking at them, cataloguing every little detail that he could about them. He counted all their fingers and toes, watched the rainbow of colors that swirled in their eyes, ran his fingers through that baby soft hair.

Despite the obvious bit of skin and hair color showing them as Derek’s children, there was plenty enough to show them as Spencer's for those who knew how to look. Spencer was stamped right there on their faces in the shape of their eyes or the slightly plump bottom lip. It was easy for Derek to see the bits of Spencer in them. “You guys are lucky.” He told them on their fifth day in the NICU, the last day that the doctors said they had to spend there. He was seated in a chair holding on to LJ while Gabriel and Rebecca lay in their bassinets beside him. A small bottle was in his hand and he was feeding the happy little boy in his arms. Smiling, Derek watched as the boy nursed at the bottle. “You’ve got one heck of a family around you who all love you. And you’ve got an amazing Mom.”

It made Derek chuckle a little to himself just to say ‘Mom’. Spencer had surprised the hell out of all of them with that one. When Penelope had asked them what names they were going to use with the kids, who was going to be Dad and who was going to be something else, Spencer had honestly looked confused by it. “Derek is their Dad.” He’d told them all, looking at everyone in that way he had that said he didn’t understand how he was seeing something that apparently the rest of them weren’t. It was a look that Derek had always found kind of cute.

“So what’re they gonna call you?” Scott had asked. The man had come with the others to visit yet again, surprising Derek a little. Actually, he was surprised by just how many people from Xavier’s stopped by to visit. Spencer had requested that some of them wait till he got home, like any of the kids, but quite a few adults had all come out to visit him.

The confused look on Spencer's face had only served to make him look even cuter. He’d been holding Rebecca at the time—their little Becca, as they’d taken to calling her—and he’d looked down at her before looking back up at everyone else. “Mom.”

Derek chuckled again as he remembered the stunned expressions everyone had worn after that announcement. Even Remy, who pretty much supported Spencer in everything he did, had given him a strange look. But it’d been Sara, Derek’s sister, who had said “Mom? Isn’t that a bit, I don’t know…girly?”

He could’ve told her going that route wouldn’t work. Better than anyone Derek new that Spencer didn’t care at all for the restrictions that society put on genders. He could get rather passionate about it, too. That moment had been no exception. “I don’t believe in conforming to gender stereotypes.” Spencer had told them all firmly. “A mother is someone who carries a child inside of them. I carried these three inside of myself for eight months—I've earned the right to that title. Why should I be ashamed to use it? Besides, legally that’s what I’m considered. On their birth certificates and all legal paperwork, my name is going to go in the ‘mother’ slot.”

“No one’s saying you should be ashamed, Spencer.” Emily had hurried to reassure him. “If you want to use that title, use it. We just thought you might want to pick a more personal one.”

They’d changed the subject after that and no one had pushed the issue anymore. Derek knew that Spencer was right; on all paperwork ‘mother’ is what Spencer would be listed as. But he also knew that being called ‘Mom’ would bring Spencer a lot more grief than he was probably realizing. They’d have to talk about it later, when they got the chance. Maybe he could get Spencer to see that it wasn’t giving in to society to be called by some other title. That it’d be better to just sort of let this one slide. Otherwise it might create trouble not just for Spencer but for the children too. That was something he knew Spencer wouldn’t want to happen.

Then again, was that really his place to be telling Spencer these things anymore? He’d done it before plenty of times during their marriage. Did he have that right anymore, though? As Derek watched LJ eat, he wished he knew how to do this. How to work this _thing_ between them. Just because they were separated didn’t mean that there wasn’t still love between them. The love had just, changed. But it was still there in some ways.

In more ways than he’d thought. Derek pushed his tongue against the inside of his lip and found no pain for the first time in days. The bruise that Remy had left on his face had been a pretty good one.

That was twice now that Remy had struck him, for Spencer. Twice that Derek had let his mouth run away with him and said things that he should’ve known better than to say. Derek had figured that out rather quickly. Even if he hadn’t, his Mama had made damn sure to let him know. The moment Derek had cheated on his husband he’d give up all rights to pass judgment on the people that Spencer cared about, or who cared about him. And anyone with eyes could see how much Spencer and Remy cared about one another.

Even though Derek knew it wasn’t fair of him to feel this way, it hurt to see the way that Spencer and Remy were together. It hurt a lot more than he’d expected.

Just yesterday he’d come down here to see the triplets and had stopped at the door when he’d noticed both Remy and Spencer already in there. It wasn’t uncommon to find Spencer there at all hours of the day or night. His powers were still a bit on the fritz and responding instinctively to his needs, and right now his need was to be with the children. Almost every night Spencer tried to sleep in his own hospital room, and almost every night at some point he would magically appear in the NICU, still sound asleep. The nursing staff had taken to making sure one of their chairs was reclined and open at the edge of the room so that he would stop simply appearing in the middle of the floor.

Hiding out by the door, Derek had observed the two of them, and he’d felt a little part of his heart break. The Spencer he saw in that room was so different than the one that Derek knew, in so many ways, and yet still the same in others. It hurt him to see it. To see so much of the old Spencer, the person he’d been _before_ their marriage. All these little things that Derek hadn’t even realized were missing were evident in that moment in the energetic, rambling speech of a person he’d once thought he’d known better than anyone else. It hurt to see that maybe he’d been wrong about that. Because this? This Spencer with the bright, shining eyes and that wide grin, with the expansive gestures and that ridiculous snorting laugh? This wasn’t who he’d married. This was the man he’d caught glimpses of but had never quite got to see. This was the person that life and years at the Bureau and, yes, even their marriage, had all pushed down. This was the real Spencer hidden underneath the layers and layers of shields that Derek thought sometimes Spencer didn’t even realize he put up.

Remy brought that out in him. Without even trying, Remy brought that part of Spencer to the surface.

In the years that Derek had known Remy, he’d never seen him like this about _anyone_. His friend was head over heels in love with Spencer. Derek could see it. And, much as it made him hurt to admit it, he could see that Spencer felt the same. But he could also see that neither one had admitted it to one another.

Remy wouldn’t, he knew. For all that he’d been angry with Remy for stepping in here, and for all that he’d felt like Remy was stepping on his toes, Derek could sacrifice enough pride to admit that he knew in his heart that Remy wouldn’t step in where he wasn’t wanted, and that he’d hesitate on doing anything with Spencer out of respect for both Spencer _and_ Derek. As for Spencer—and this made Derek’s ever present guilt grow into this twisting thing inside of him that left him sick and ashamed—it was so damn hard for him to trust anyone. After the way their marriage had broken up, he wasn’t entirely sure that Spencer would be willing to try and trust again, or willing to take the risk.

A low sigh slid from Derek. The bottle in his hand was empty and he shifted LJ to his shoulder the way the nurses had taught him to do to try and burp the little boy. “Daddy’s gonna fix this, kid.” He murmured to his son. His eyes drifted to the other two in their bassinets and his heart gave a little clench. Spencer had given him the most beautiful of children. He’d given Derek everything a man could want, over and over again. But Derek hadn’t been able to give him the same in return. Maybe it was time to help him towards someone who could.

* * *

It took a full week in the hospital before the doctors released not only Spencer, but the children as well. Only when they were sure the triplets were healthy, and that Spencer's blood pressure had finally leveled out to what it was supposed to be, did they finally allow them to leave. For Spencer, it was a Godsend. One part amazing and also one part terrifying. He was free to go home now, to get out of here and rest in his own house, in his own bed, without someone coming in every half hour to poke at him or check on him or anything like that. But that also meant that he and the children were going to be home without any nursing staff to help him out.

The only thing that allowed him a little bit of sanity was knowing that both Fran and JJ were set up in a nearby hotel and were planning on spending their days with him for the next little bit, until he was settled.

A part of him wondered and worried about his other guest; would Remy stop staying in the guest room now that the babies were home? Would he go back to the mansion to stay? The idea made Spencer's heart hurt and his stomach clench.

He hadn’t found the courage yet to even begin to think about telling Remy about his little epiphany in the hospital. There was so much at stake here; Spencer was utterly terrified of trying to say or do anything that might cost him the friendship he had with Remy. Some days it had been the only thing that had helped to get him through this pregnancy. What if he told Remy that he had fallen in love with him and the Cajun walked away? Or what if Spencer opened himself up to this, put himself out there, and somewhere down the road this all just proved too much for Remy and he walked away? No man wanted to get pulled into some sort of ‘instant family’. Would Remy want to be involved with someone who had children by another man? Another man who had been his _best friend_ for years?

It was all one big complicated mess that Spencer had no idea how to even begin to untangle. So, in true Spencer fashion, he’d shoved the feelings down as far as he could and tried to ignore them. He’d become a pro at ignoring his own feelings over the years. He could do it. Later, when things were less chaotic, he’d think about it then. Later.

He just wished his heart would stop leaping up into his throat every time the man smiled at him. Or every time he saw Remy holding one of the babies in his arms.

Getting home from the hospital was an adventure of its own. Luckily, they weren’t as crowded as they could’ve been. Aaron, Penelope, Emily, Dave, Sara and Desiree had all had to go home. A week away was as much as they could manage. But that still left Spencer with Derek, who would be able to stay for another week, JJ, Fran, Remy, Logan, Ororo, Jean and Rogue all helping. Only Remy and Derek were there to get Spencer and the babies home from the hospital; the others were all waiting at the house when they arrive.

A week had given Spencer's body enough time to heal that it wasn’t really difficult for him to move around. His pain level was easily managed. Hank told him he was healing well and had even removed the staples already. He was even managing to get by on just the prescription strength ibuprofen instead of the narcotics that he’d been offered. However, there were a few things he still wasn’t allowed to do, and lifting things was one of them. Hence why he was currently climbing carefully out of the van while Remy and Derek took care of getting the car seats out of the car.

“We got it, kid.” Derek assured him. He looked Spencer over carefully, that assessing gaze of his that had always been able to tell when Spencer was trying to hide pain from him. “Go on in and get comfortable on the couch. We’ll bring them to you, don’t worry.”

There was no real point in protesting. Not that he got much of a choice. The instant he was inside, he was met with the cheers of his friends, cries of “Welcome home!” and laughter, and he found himself ushered over to a ‘seat of honor’ at the couch. Spencer had to admit that it felt damn good to get set up in the corner of his extremely comfortable couch. And Jean even brought him a pillow to help him get comfortable with. As he sat, Spencer got a clear view of his house through a break in the people and he felt his breath catch in his throat. Logically he’d known that it was the second week in December. The triplets had been born on December third, which made today the tenth. But he hadn’t really stopped to think about the fact that that meant Christmas was in fifteen days. Apparently his friends had that covered for him.

There was a tree in the corner of Spencer's family room that was fully decorated and lit up. As he looked around he saw that the rest of the house was decorated too. There were festive candles on the mantle of the fireplace and there were stockings hung up there as well as a bit of garland to help decorate. There were lights and garland other places as well, a festive tablecloth was set out on the table of the breakfast nook, and a big Christmas quilt that Spencer's Mom had made when he was a baby was hung up on the wall behind the couch, just as Spencer always hung it in every home he’d ever had as an adult. All over there were signs of Christmas in his place and the sight of it choked him up. “You guys…”

“Merry Christmas, Spencer!” Jean said, kissing his cheek.

Remy and Derek brought the car seats right into the family room and set them down amidst a bunch of ‘awwws’ and coos and other noises that Spencer had only ever heard from people when babies were involved. Remy laughed when someone reached for the babies. “Back off.” He said with a grin, swatting at the hands that reached out. “Y’all have had plenty of time to hold em. Why don’t we let Mama get a chance, hm?”

A smile curved Spencer's lips at the ‘Mama’ part. Out of everyone, Remy, Logan and Fran were the only three that seemed to embrace Spencer's choice in title. Even Derek had tried to politely talk to him and point out that maybe he should use something a little different. It’d been amusing as hell to watch Fran smack her son’s arm and firmly tell him that Spencer could use whatever title he wanted.

There was no easy way to hold all three babies at once. However, Spencer found he was rather easily adjusting to holding two of them. With the help of a pillow under one arm, he was easily settled into the corner with Gabriel in one arm and Becca in the other. Looking down at them brought an immediate smile to Spencer's lips. “Hello there.” He murmured as Becca shifted and screwed up her face like she was trying to decide whether or not she liked what was going on. Gabriel didn’t even wake during the transition. So far, that seemed pretty normal. Gabriel was their laid back one, the one who liked to sleep a lot and who ate plenty. LJ was awake more than the others, but kind of quiet. And Becca—Derek jokingly called her a little diva already. She was the one who cried the most and who was more picky about things around her.

Derek settled onto the couch next to Spencer with LJ in his arms. The three always seemed to settle a little more when they were all close to one another.

“They look so beautiful, Spencer.” Ororo said to him. She seated herself on the arm of the couch, bending just enough to brush a finger over the curve of Becca’s cheek.

The three had been dressed simply and warmly to come home from the hospital. Instead of the fancy clothes that people had gifted Spencer with, commenting how cute they’d be to war home from the hospital, Spencer had gone the more practical route. They were all in sleepers, with newborn gloves on their hands and hats that Spencer had knit himself on their heads, and not a one of their outfits was matching though they were all Christmas themed. Becca had on a red sleeper with white snowflakes all over it and white cap, LJ had a green and white striped sleeper with a green cap, and Gabriel had a blue sleeper with penguins on it and a blue cap. All different outfits, different colors—all very deliberately different. They were home now and away from the bracelets from the hospital. It was up to Spencer to be able to tell them apart. While they were undressed, or at least had bare feet, it was easier. Remy had painted their toes all a different color much to everyone’s amusement. Gabe was red, LJ was green and Becca was purple. But with sleepers on—their feet covered—making sure they had different clothes was a good way to help tell them apart.

“I still can’t get over how sweet they look!” JJ exclaimed. She was on Derek’s other side and was smiling down at LJ, holding his hand loosely with one finger. “Look at you. Aren’t you just a handsome one? Just like your Mom and Dad.”

It was all things that Spencer had heard countless times so far since the triplets were born and he had a feeling he’d be hearing it over and over again in his future. For now, he just sat there and smiled while he listened to the stream of compliments and exclamations over how well they were growing.

Fran smiled over at Spencer, that bright smile of hers that hadn’t dimmed once, though Spencer had worried how the woman would react once the divorce went through. He shouldn’t have. None of it changed a thing for Fran. She treated him no differently than before. If anything, she was warmer to him now that the children were here, and openly offered any advice she could, like right now. “As they get older, I’ll show you how to do their hair.” She told Spencer. “It’s a bit of a process until you get the hang of it, but I think you’ll catch on quick. I had a few friends teach me when the kids were younger.”

“Thank you.” Spencer said earnestly. Hair was one thing he’d wondered about. He should’ve known that Fran would be able to help him out with it. She had plenty of experience, after all.

Conversation quickly devolved into discussions of hairstyles and proper hair care. Spencer listened avidly even as he started to get sleepy. He was adamant that he could stay awake for a bit of conversation at least. But eventually the babies all fell asleep, and Derek noticed that Spencer wasn’t that far behind them. It sort of startled Spencer when Derek suddenly cut everyone off. “All right, guys, enough is enough for now. I think we’ve got a few here who are ready to lie down.”

“You want some help getting them upstairs?” JJ offered immediately.

Before Spencer could answer, Derek shook his head. “Nah. We got em, right kid?”

And they did. Derek took Gabriel from Spencer, cradling a boy in each arm, and Spencer easily held Becca against his chest as he made his rather slow way up the staircase. Together, the two men took the children into the fully done nursery. The room had finally finished getting setting up right before Spencer had gone on full time bed rest. As he looked in there now, he saw that someone had come in and made the cribs up with fresh, clean bedding. All the shelves on the changing table were stocked as well. The room was perfect.

Coming in from the hallway, the three cribs were all set up side by side just to Spencer's right, all along that thin wall. Straight across from them was a rocking chair, one that still made Spencer's heart jump when he saw it, because it was a handmade gift from Logan. To the left, along that far wall, was the changing table and the diaper genie. The dresser had been set up inside of the closet just to make space easier. For the moment, the babies didn’t have anything that needed hung up, really, so all their clothes were folded in the drawers, and the top of the dresser as well as the closet shelf were both being used as storage for the mountains of diapers and such that had been gifted.

The boys were set on the cribs on either end while Becca was put down in the middle one. When he straightened back up, he was amused to see that Derek had placed Gabriel on his back, the same as the other two. It was the way the hospitals said to lay them to lower the risk of SIDS and it was the way the other two liked to sleep. Gabriel, however, often preferred to lie on his belly and would fuss until put there. “You know he won’t stay like that for long.”

“I know.” Derek said. He straightened back up and flashed a smile at Spencer. “Still, worth a try.”

“Mm hm. Says the man who won’t be woken up in a few hours by one pissed off little boy.”

He regretted his teasing words when he saw the flash of pain on Derek’s face before the man looked away. He knew that Derek hated this; hated not being able to be a full time father to these kids. Reaching out, Spencer lightly touched his arm, just enough to get his attention even if it wasn’t enough to get him to look his way. “You know I’ll bring them to see you constantly, Derek. And I’ll bring them out so you can have whole weekends with them without me there. I’m not going to keep them from you.”

“I know.”

There wasn’t really much more to say on that. Spencer had already reassured him more than once and he knew that Derek really did know and understand it. It didn’t take away from the fact that he wouldn’t be able to be here, though. No amount of words would make that better. It was just something that Derek was going to have to deal with as best as he could. The only thing Spencer could do was offer him time with the children and work with him on visitations. They could make this work. It might not be easy, but they could do it.

They’d been quietly watching the children sleep for a few minutes before Derek gathered up his composure once more. He smiled a little and reached out to tap his fingers over the mobile that hung over Becca’s crib. “That’s cute.” Each crib had one, and each one was different. One was animals, one was sea creatures, and the one that he tapped over Becca’s crib was butterflies, all of them done in pretty colors.

A small smile touched Spencer's lips. “Remy got them for them.” He’d told Spencer that he hadn’t been able to resist; they’d just looked so pretty in the store.

“He loves you, you know.”

The words stunned Spencer. They were the last thing he’d ever expected to hear from Derek. Wide eyes lifted and locked on his ex-husband, only to find that Derek wasn’t looking at him. He was still staring down at the babies sleeping so peacefully with a soft, slightly sad look on his face. “He loves you more than you think. Hm. Probably more than I ever did.” The last part was said with a sad, guilty sort of twist. Hands braced on the crib, Derek finally lifted his gaze and his dark eyes sought out Spencer, locking on to him with an openness and depth of emotion that stole Spencer's breath away. “I see it every time he looks at you, Spencer. It’s written all over his face. And you…you deserve that. You deserve someone who’s going to put you first. Someone who looks at you like you’re everything they’ve ever wanted in life.” A slight curl touched Derek’s lips, a hint of wry amusement. “Someone who can cherish you like the treasure you are.”

Color stained Spencer's cheeks and he dropped his gaze down and away. “I’m not…”

“Spencer.” A hand cupped his cheek and Spencer found himself being turned back to face Derek once more. The older man left his hand there, stroking his thumb lightly over the apple of Spencer's cheek. “You are. You absolutely are. Give him the chance to prove that to you, okay? Don’t let the two of you suffer because of my mistakes. You deserve to be happy.”

He gave Spencer one last sweet smile before he turned around and walked out of the room, leaving him standing there stunned.

* * *

Spencer didn’t bother going back downstairs after that. There was too much in his head at the moment to really deal with people. He trusted that Derek would handle them all and get them out of his hair. Right then, he didn’t really want to see anyone. Not with his mind racing the way that it was. He was too caught up in his own thoughts to try and deal with anyone. Instead, he just went into his room, leaving the door open between him and the nursery, and he kicked his shoes off against the far wall before going over and sitting gently down on the edge of the bed.

What was he doing here? What was he going to do? This was all some big, giant, mixed up mess, and he had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do. How did a person figure out something like this?

Spencer knew what sat at the heart of his trouble. He knew it wasn’t him loving Remy, or Remy loving him. It didn’t take a psychology degree to figure out that he was afraid. That he was utterly terrified of putting himself out there in a relationship once more. Relationships had never ever been easy for him. They’d always been hard and uncomfortable and something that he’d had to work at. They didn’t come naturally to him the way they did for other people. Not that he thought that others didn’t have to work at it; that was part of being in a relationship, the willingness to work at it. He just felt sometimes like he had to work harder than most. Because, well, he was different. He wasn’t like a normal person. Talking to people, interacting with them, dealing with emotions and trust, those were difficult things for Spencer. They always had been. But he’d tried with Derek. He’d given it everything he had and it still hadn’t been enough.

If it hadn’t been enough for Derek, someone who’d known him for years before they got together, someone who was sweet and good and smart like him, what hope did Spencer have for anyone else? Especially someone as amazing as Remy.

Almost as if thinking about him had summoned him there, Spencer heard Remy’s low voice break into his thoughts. “Spencer?”

Looking up, Spencer saw Remy standing in the nursery. The man was at the end of the cribs but he was turned, looking in towards Spencer, and even from here Spencer could see the love and concern written all over his face. Just like Derek had said, it was right there for everyone to see. And that left Spencer feeling just a little giddy. He pressed a hand in against his stomach to try and still the butterflies dancing around in there.

The concern on Remy’s face only grew. “Spencer, are y’ okay?” He took a few steps into the bedroom, never once looking away from him. “Do y’ need me to call Henri back?”

Spencer shook his head no. No, he didn’t need Hank. He didn’t need anyone else in his house right now to witness this. A thousand different scenarios ran through Spencer's head. Countless ways that he could take what he was feeling and put it into words. He’d been sitting here trying to find the right thing to say or the right way to do this. He should’ve known better than to plan. Sitting there, staring up at Remy, seeing the love and concern that lit those unique eyes of his, the words just came tumbling out of Spencer before he could stop them. “I love you.”  Saying them was a jolt, one that didn’t affect just him. He saw Remy stumble from it, eyes widening and his whole expression going slack for one brief second as Spencer blurted out what should’ve been said so much better. Oh, God, he was going to be sick. He tried to stop himself from talking but the words just kept coming. “I love you so much and it scares the living hell out of me. Because Derek…Derek hurt. He hurt more than anything I’ve ever known in my life. I gave him everything I was, everything I had, and it still wasn’t enough. _I_ still wasn’t enough. And I, I want so badly to give all that to you, but I don’t know if I can take that again. I can’t be not enough again. If I, if I tried this with you and it happened all over again, it’d shatter me, and I can’t do that. I just can’t. I’m not something you should even want, Remy. I’m the ex-husband of your best friend who just had three children. I’m broken and scarred and so messed up and…”

“Perfect.” Remy cut in. “Y’r absolutely perfect.”

Silence fell over the room then. Spencer watched as Remy drew in a breath and visibly straightened himself. Then he was striding towards Spencer without any hint of hesitation or doubt written anywhere on him. When he was right in front of Spencer he smoothly dropped down to his knees right between Spencer's feet. He knelt down there without hesitance or shame and looked up at Spencer with the most open expression he’d ever seen the Cajun wear before. Everything he was, everything he felt, was right there on his face without any walls to hide it all. Reaching up, Remy caught Spencer's face in his hands. He cupped his cheeks and held him like he was the most precious thing in his world. “I wish y’ could see what I see when I look at y’.” Remy said softly. One of his thumbs slipped down to brush over Spencer's bottom lip, just a light little caress that made him shiver. His eyes never left Spencer’s. “Y’r not broken, Spencer. Y’r strong. One of de strongest people I’ve ever known.”

“I’m not.” Spencer said softly.

The thumb on his lip moved up just enough to press over both of them. “Hush. Y’ are, Spencer. Y’ just don’t see it.” He moved his thumb away from Spencer's mouth again and smiled up at him. “Dese past months I’ve seen y’ at y’r lowest, Spencer, and I’ve see y’ at y’r best. I watched y’ get ripped apart by somet’ing dat wasn’t y’r fault and I watched y’ rise up from it and make a life fo’ y’rself. Y’r strong and amazing and don’t y’ dare let anyone tell y’ dat y’ aren’t enough. Y’r always enough. Y’r _more_ dan enough. I love y’, Spencer Reid, just de way y’ are, scars and all. An if y’ let me, I want to spend de rest of our lives showing y’ dat.”

It was everything he could ever want kneeling right here before him. Remy was offering him up everything. All Spencer had to do was have the courage to reach out and take it. If he could make himself take the risk to reach out here, there was potential for so much heartbreak, yes, but there was also the potential for something that he thought might be absolutely spectacular.

Spencer's hands shook only slightly as they came up to rest lightly over Remy’s. Holding them there, he turned his head just enough to press a kiss against the side of Remy’s thumb. “Please.” The word was breathed out against Remy’s skin so whisper soft he wasn’t sure at first if the other man could hear it. Gathering up his courage once more, he brought his eyes back to Remy’s and met him eye to eye. He could do this. He could have the courage to do this. “Please.”

“What do y’ want, Spencer?” Remy asked him.

He was going to make him say this. Spencer couldn’t blame him, really. Remy had that right. He had the right to hear the words, to make sure that Spencer knew what he was asking for here, what he was getting himself into. “You.” Spencer told him softly. “I just want you.”

“I’m y’rs, cher. I’ve been y’rs.” The smile that lit Remy’s face was devilish and full of so much love it was almost blinding. “I’ve just been waiting for y’ to be ready.”

When he leaned in, Spencer knew what was coming next and his eyes fluttered shut just moments before soft lips pressed against his. There was the slight tickly of fuzz on Remy’s face, a hint of a stubble where he hadn’t shaved today, but his lips were soft against Spencer's and oh-so skilled. They stole his breath away before turning around and giving it right back to him. It was amazing and wonderful and so absolutely perfect.

The sound of a furious little cry cut off what had been shaping up to be an amazing kiss. The two men paused, their lips frozen against one another, as the small cry hesitated just enough to make them think it might stop before coming back louder than ever. Spencer's lips curved up and he felt Remy’s doing the same. “Amazing timing.” Spencer murmured.

“Aint it just? I got de feeling we’re gonna get a lot of dat.”

The two pulled back and Spencer couldn’t help the goofy grin that was on his face. “Welcome to parenthood, Remy. I hope you know what you’ve signed up for here.”

“I t’ink we can handle it.”

Pushing up to his feet, Remy grinned and held out his hand. Spencer didn’t hesitate to reach up and take it, using it to pull himself up to his feet. They didn’t let go of one another, though. Their fingers threaded lightly together as they made their way to the nursery. They could handle this, the two of them. Together. Just the way it was supposed to be.


End file.
